All Chapters of The Heartbreaker (Completed): Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

 With my index finger I trace the trail that the raindrop has left on the other side of the window pane and wonder whether heaven has cried with me out of solidarity. Is there an old man with a gray beard sitting up there who has decided that my pain is great enough to adjust the weather accordingly?"Do you know the feeling when you've drank or eaten something cold too quickly?" I ask quietly and slide my finger to the next trail of rain. “The brain freezes painfully. This is how my whole body feels. Frozen ... and it hurts so much. ""Evy, honey, you've been sitting at the window for hours now, staring at the rain." There is a slight rustling behind me as Claire, one of my two roommates, sits down on the bed. Carefully, as if she were worried about frightening me, she puts a hand on my shoulder and caresses it gently."At least she's not crying anymore," Lu says from somewhere. "The source has dried up,

 For almost two days I hide in my room and rise the sea level, while Claire and Lu take turns coming to me to bring me something to eat or drink, to take my spiky handkerchiefs with me and to give me consolation. Although I prefer Claire's understanding manner rather than Lu's motivational speeches à la "Fuck this idiot and enjoy life as a single without an insensitive chunk on your leg!"  Ultimately, I manage to drag myself into the shower and put on new, fresh clothes before I crawl out of my cave and join them in the living room. "Hi." Claire smiles happily and makes room for me on the couch next to her."Thank God, you finally showered!" Lu says from her favorite armchair. It's big and takes up a lot of space, but she absolutely loves it and would certainly defend it with her life if anyone dared to trade it in for a smaller piece of cushion. "Honestly, I don't want to be a tramp beca

"You shouldn't throw yourself at him, the other way around." Claire lets the phone drop and smiles at me. "Don't worry, he'll know what to do to break into another guy's territory.""The plan is stupid, but it will definitely work," says Lu again. “If Jake tries to take the lollipop away from Sebastian, he'll want it back. Even if he's already licked. Or half sucked. ""Really nice, what cute nicknames and flowery paraphrases you come up with for me and my situation," I whistle in her direction, whereupon she shrugs her shoulders calmly.“He'll be here in half an hour,” Claire breaks our little exchange.“He's coming here now? Today? ”I wonder aloud.“Like I said - he owes me a ton of favors. I just picked him up from a party in the ass last weekend because the guy he was out with had run away. "“Nice.” Lu grins broadly. “But it should be fine with me that Creampie Jake honors us today.

 feel a slight tingling sensation in my fingertips, which worries me. I'm in the process of developing a battle plan to recapture my ex-boyfriend, so another guy shouldn't have such an effect on me. Maybe I'm just too vulnerable right now and that's why I'm so receptive to affection. Like a puppy dog waiting to be petted by its owner. “Um ... that's okay, I think. Or? ”I say to my two friends."Lick it," says Lu simply, which makes me laugh.“I guess a few innocent touches won't hurt,” says Claire. "So that it looks real." Jake lets go of my hand and for a split second I feel something like regret about it.This is completely crazy! Unobtrusively, I move away from him one by one by pulling my feet up onto the couch and wrapping my arms around them.Over the next twenty minutes, we'll fine-tune our plan until everyone is largely satisfied with it. Then I wish everyone a good night and go to my room. My heart is a l

I look at him from the side, having to tilt my head back slightly. There is something thoughtful about his expression, and I wonder if he has had any other experiences himself. "What are you studying?" I finally want to know from him. Funny, I've known him for a while through Claire, but if it ever came up which degree he was studying, I can't remember.“Teaching degree. Special education, if you want to know exactly. "Wow, so I wasn't expecting that at all. Jake as a teacher? That ... somehow doesn't fit. Although I don't know Jake well enough to be able to make such an assessment."I want to teach difficult to educate or physically challenged children." He underlines the words difficult to educate with ticks in the air, as if they were bothering him.   Admittedly, I am impressed. And I'm ashamed that I automatically put him in a drawer just because he has a certain reputation. "How did you come up with that?" I ask, interested.

It's just ... Sebastian is my anchor. Without him I drift around and don't know where I belong. He is always by my side in my ideas about the future. I don't want to lose him. ”It must sound silly and cheesy to his ears, but it's the truth. I don't know what it's like to be without Sebastian anymore. He helped me escape my past and it has been just him and me ever since."It ..." I pause when I see an all too familiar figure in the corner of my eye. Immediately my heart is racing. "There he is," I breath barely audibly, and stare past Jake's shoulder. Seeing Sebastian again after almost a week is like a rain shower on a scorching summer day. My longing overwhelms me with a vehemence that makes me suck in a sharp breath.Jake seems to understand what's going on right away because he looks over his shoulder inconspicuously before turning his attention back to me. "Okay, let's find out if it's worth it."These words are followed by a look that promptly pulls

So, see you ? Is that it? Almost four years, a bitter separation, a short, slightly tense conversation - and that's it. The newly awakened hope that he would be jealous of Jake because he actually wants me back creeps back into her dark corner and curls up.I barely manage to take my full plate away and leave the cafeteria without bursting into tears in front of everyone. My vision blurs as soon as I step a few steps away from the building. I feel like my chest is tightening and I take a deep breath to release the pressure."Don't cry," I tell myself well and almost stumble because I'm walking so fast. I have to be at work in a few hours, and I have no clue how to get through the day without collapsing.I manage to get home, change clothes and pack a few things. Tears run down my cheeks, but I wipe them away vehemently and don't allow myself to give in to the pain and sorrow. I really cried enough. And even if the encounter with Sebastian feels like a defeat, I

"I don't know if I should push your ego any further - but yes, it is very impressive how you let your charms play." I clear my throat again and finally look away from his face. Lord God, that can be exhausting when we spend more time together.Jake chuckles and lets his back sink back against the wall. "What I was getting at ..." he redirects and nudges me with his elbow. “Do you want to go a step further? In front of your man, I mean. "  "You mean, are we ... um ... pretending I'm interested in you too?""For example, yes."“I think so, don't you?” Even if I have no idea how exactly we're supposed to handle this. I can't throw myself up to Jake, even though I want to take Sebastian back. What would he think of that?“So I'm officially courting you,” Jake continues. "But I don't want to be the next to break your heart."At these words I look at him again."Even at the risk of sounding like an a

It is becoming more and more difficult for me to connect the young man here next to me with the heartbreaking Casanova, despite the fact that I can feel his inexplicable effect again and again. Just like at this moment. It's damn dangerous to get lost in this feeling, even if it's so tempting.  "I have to go on now," I say and get up. I am shouldering my bag.Jake stands up too. “I'll see you on Friday evening then. Do you want me to pick you up from work? ""Um ... yes, okay." I give him the address and wait for him to write it down. "See you then, Jake." With one last smile in his direction, I turn away and go to my next class.    "A date?""A fake date," I correct Lu.We met in the kitchen to cook together. This is our Thursday evening ritual."We're going to Sunrise in the hope that Sebastian will be there too and see us together."&

She interrupts me by raising a finger. “I don't care where your thoughts are. As long as they don't focus on your tasks here, they have no business here. Full concentration, girl, I don't have time for rookie mistakes. ""I'm sorry. I quickly copy the right applications. "I rush to the copy room and warn myself not to burst into tears. I'm already behind me, damn it! During my first time here I often hid somewhere to collect myself because I had to get used to dealing with the very harsh tone of my superiors. But after over a year I got an even thicker coat and got used to it - at least I thought. But my nerves are so thin at the moment that I can no longer let everything ricochet off me. In the past, I endured much worse and didn't break down because of it. Even now I shouldn't allow myself to be dragged down by a reprimand.    "Here." A moment later I handed Mrs. Gordon the requested documents.She doesn't even look at me when she