Naive

I look at him from the side, having to tilt my head back slightly. There is something thoughtful about his expression, and I wonder if he has had any other experiences himself. "What are you studying?" I finally want to know from him. Funny, I've known him for a while through Claire, but if it ever came up which degree he was studying, I can't remember.

“Teaching degree. Special education, if you want to know exactly. "

Wow, so I wasn't expecting that at all. Jake as a teacher? That ... somehow doesn't fit. Although I don't know Jake well enough to be able to make such an assessment.

"I want to teach difficult to educate or physically challenged children." He underlines the words difficult to educate with ticks in the air, as if they were bothering him.   

Admittedly, I am impressed. And I'm ashamed that I automatically put him in a drawer just because he has a certain reputation. "How did you come up with that?" I ask, interested.

“Through an internship and my part-time job at a special school.” We reach the cafeteria and Jake holds the door for me. “I've found that the kids there are usually branded the same and treated accordingly badly. I want to change that. "

“That's really great.” He wants to fix the injustices, and I'm just doing something to get a foothold in the professional world and make money. It's pretty sobering.

"I once worked in an animal shelter," I blurt out. Suddenly I feel the need to contribute something meaningful that makes the world a little bit better. »At the beginning of your studies. I loved doing something for these poor, abandoned and neglected animals. "

"Why did you stop doing that?" 

“Because I was able to get hold of a well-paid internship at a large company.” I take a tray from the counter and stand in a short row in front of the food counter. “I'll really start there after this semester. You want to take over me. "

"Where will you make a lot of money?"

I look over my shoulder at Jake. Is he teasing me or is it a subliminal accusation that resonates in his words? "I'm not getting rich or anything," I reply. "But I have to live on something." Even to my ears that sounds like a stupid justification for not pursuing higher goals than just working and living off of it.

"Hey." Jake smiles and puts a hand on my neck. The gentle caress of his fingers sends a violent shiver down my spine. Damn what is that supposed to be? “I didn't mean to blame you. It is your life and you will make the right decision for yourself, ”he adds.

For a moment I sink into his profound gaze. From this close I notice that his eyes are not just brown, but look as if warm rays of sunshine are passing through them. A beautiful, unusual color ... And I'm staring at it way too conspicuously!

I quickly turn back to the front and shake my head inwardly at myself. A few days ago I had the feeling that the world was going to end because my great love broke up with me - and now I adore a guy I hardly know. What's wrong with me

No, I'm pretty much all right, it's up to Jake. He is a magnet for every woman - and certainly for some men too. I should never have gotten into this, it's just causing me more trouble, I can already feel it.

After we bought our food, although I refused Jake to pay for me, we sit down at one of the tables that are still free in the back of the cafeteria. I notice a few glances following Jake. He may not be as well known as a sore thumb, but at least a large number of women have definitely had their eyes on him since his first day at college. It stands out because it just exists. 

"Okay, tell me what went wrong between you and your boyfriend," Jake finally tells me, leaning forward slightly.

I instinctively duck my head because the subject burns like a freshly made wound. "You already know why he broke up."

“Yes, roughly. But if you think you can win it back, there has to be more. "

"Even more?"

He nods. "So we can rule out another one."

I twitch noticeably, causing Jake to raise his eyebrows.

"Can't we?" He asks.

"But. I mean, I think so ... To be honest, I don't know. ”Of course, I want to trust that there is no other woman, otherwise my plans for recapture might vanish in a moment if I did. But there is a vague feeling that I have been trying to suppress for some time. It started with Sebastian wanting to do something alone more and more often, and it got worse when he was constantly hanging on his cell phone and writing to someone. A couple of times I asked who it was, but each time I got an unsatisfactory answer. I didn't want to come across as a control-addicted fury, so I finally let it go and pushed the uncomfortable feeling away. I trusted him because that's essential in a relationship.

"You don't know if your guy's got another one?" Jake nods slowly and looks at his plate for a moment. "Listen, Evy, I want to be completely honest with you."

Such words are usually followed by nothing good. Inwardly, I arm myself before he continues.

“I don't know your man, I've only seen him here and there. Nor do I want to judge your relationship or your decision to win him back. I just need to know if you're really convinced that it's worth it for you. Right now I have a bunch of other things to take care of, so this shouldn't be a waste of time. "

I swallow hard. After I got over my initial grief, I was really sure that Sebastian and I would find each other again, but now little doubts creep in here and there. So far he has never contacted me and asked how I am. Shouldn't he know that I'm suffering from the breakup and at least have a little concern for me? On the other hand, he might not want to poke around in the wound by contacting me too early ...

I slowly lower my fork. I don't feel any appetite anyway. "If you're too busy, we should just leave it," I tell Jake. “I'll think of something else to see if Sebastian misses me and wants me back. Thank you for your help anyway, ”I add with a smile so that he doesn't think I resent him for withdrawing. Because I don't do that, I understand him.

For a while he looks at me in silence, which makes me very uneasy. Other women would probably kill to bask in his attention, but I want to hide under the tabletop. What do you think he thinks of me?

"You probably think I'm a naive fool because I can't accept the breakup," I finally slipped out.

"No, I don't," he replies immediately, sounding sincere.