A date?

It is becoming more and more difficult for me to connect the young man here next to me with the heartbreaking Casanova, despite the fact that I can feel his inexplicable effect again and again. Just like at this moment. It's damn dangerous to get lost in this feeling, even if it's so tempting.  

"I have to go on now," I say and get up. I am shouldering my bag.

Jake stands up too. “I'll see you on Friday evening then. Do you want me to pick you up from work? "

"Um ... yes, okay." I give him the address and wait for him to write it down. "See you then, Jake." With one last smile in his direction, I turn away and go to my next class. 

"A date?"

"A fake date," I correct Lu.

We met in the kitchen to cook together. This is our Thursday evening ritual.

"We're going to Sunrise in the hope that Sebastian will be there too and see us together." 

"I still think the plan is pretty limited," she tells me for what feels like a millionth time. "I mean, if one guy just wants you back because he thinks someone else is playing with his toy, he doesn't deserve you."

Sighing, I take the washed tomatoes from her. "I know you think I'm naive and stupid."

"In that regard, yes." That's Lu just like that - mercilessly direct and honest. And that's exactly what I appreciate about her. It can be hurtful now and then because it doesn't gloss over anything and doesn't care if it steps on someone's feet with it, but you always know where you stand with it. She would never blaspheme behind your back and lie in your face the next moment. 

“Now leave her alone,” Claire intervenes. “We've chewed it through enough times. Evy doesn't want to give up Sebastian. You may not understand it, but you should accept it. It's her decision, you don't have to be with him. "

"I just don't want to see her cry about that Spacko again," Lu grumbles. It's not nice that she insults Sebastian all the time, but at least her anger is only directed at him because he hurt me. So she just shows that I am important to her.

With a gentle smile, I put my arms around her shoulders. "At least I have to try," I say quietly. "Because if I don't fight for him, I might regret it at some point."

"I understand. But what if he takes you back? How should the relationship work again without you having to keep thinking that he left you before? "

“If he realizes he's made a mistake, then I can forgive him. Everyone makes mistakes. "

"It's still totally weird."

"I know." I let go of her with a nod.

“I think it just shows that you have a big heart,” says Claire. “Yes, it wasn't right that Sebastian left you without talking about it first and looking for a different solution, but if he really realizes soon that he misses you terribly and made a mistake, then he deserves it too a second chance."

"But -"

"But enough for today," interrupts Claire Lu, placing a forefinger against her lips. “Now we're going to enjoy this delicious spaghetti and watch a nice movie. And the next few conversations will only revolve around Liam Hemsworth's abdominal muscles. "

When I'm in bed a few hours later, I pick up my cell phone and look at pictures of Sebastian and me. It's a mistake to put salt on my wound as well, I am aware of that, but I also draw a little hope from memories. We look so happy together, we shine like one another, and nothing indicates that it will be over between us anytime soon.

So how can it be that Sebastian suddenly doesn't want this luck anymore? What did I do wrong? Did he really feel trapped in our relationship and longed for freedom? I really never had the feeling of constricting it ...

I put the phone down and stare out the window at the dark night. I imagine that Sebastian is currently lying in his bed and is also thinking of me. Do I miss him as much as he miss me? Does he already regret breaking up with me?

If he did, you would have heard from him long ago , a small voice whispers somewhere in the back of my head. I quickly silence it because I can't stand the thought. Then I turn to the other side and close my eyes.

It is only afterwards that I notice that I copied the wrong documents, when the slave driver's voice echoes through the open-plan office: "Evelyn, come over here!"  

"I know I made a mistake," I begin as soon as I reach the door and step through.