Lahat ng Kabanata ng Hush, Baby: Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 10

What have we done to each other?I asked myself as I tried to shake off the numbness that took over my mind and body, the first thing I felt was the cold air against my bare skin, and the sting of pain on both my wrists.I hear voices coming from several directions and panic takes over me again, I crawl back until I fall from the bed, I don’t stop crawling though, not before my back hits something cold, a wall.A wave of violent shivers takes over my body, I lose the ability to breathe, I

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel this weird numbness all over my body, my chest feels pressed and my eyelids heavy, a dull pain and an annoying buzzing resonates in my head.I feel like i am drowning.I look around me, trying to recognize this strange room I am in, but nothing about it rings any bells, it is as if I can’t remember anything, not this place I am in, and not how I got here, all I see around me are black walls, I look up, the roof is really low and also b

The doctor notices my panic and stands up, I don’t feel her gentle patting on my back anymore and it bothers me more, I feel like I need someone with me now, more than ever, I don’t want to be left alone with all these questions and ambiguity eating me up.I look down at my hands, the white long fingers are supposed to be mine but I don’t recognize them, I don’t recognize my own hands, my skin tone, the black locks covering my arms, I don’t recognize any of these things, how come I don’t recognize my own body?!Feeling the wetness on my face, I raise my hand to wipe away the annoying

I place my hand on my knee, trying to force that annoying tremble to subside, it looked as if I am trying to dig a hole in the closed courtroom's floor, and I doubt anyone would appreciate it if I ruined the expensive looking tiles.I try to take deep breaths, hoping it might calm me down, it was not that usefulthough, I feel like I am about to faint, these last few days have been nothing but a tormenting vortex of questions and revelations that lead to more questions.Seeing my uneasiness, Maisie, the nice doctor and also my good friend, held my hand in hers, she offered me an encouraging smile which barely provided me with any encouragement, I return it nevertheless, out of gratitude towards her kindness and for being here today, for she and th

“Shall we continue?” the representative asks once I am back with Maisie and Emma, the police woman, to the room, I feel a little better now after the little stroll and fresh air, I am not as panicked and shocked as I was when I heard what Dr. Jones said earlier, not as bad at least.Taking my seat back, I avoid looking at that Williams guy, I feel his eyes on me though, his lawyers are talking among themselves in a very serious manner while he is just sitting quietly as if this matter doesn’t concern him , all he does is look at me with undecipherable eyes and I refuse to look back at him, I need to keep it together for the rest of this hearing, I need to know what happened to me and I need to figure out my next move once I do.

Fuck, why can’t I stop these tears?I wipe my face and I look at that Williams guy angrily, why in the hell is he looking at me that way? With those sad and pitiful eyes of his, I don’t want his pity, I want to know what has he done to me.“We are still waiting for your answer, Mr. Williams, if you haven’t done anything to her, then why did she end up like this? And why did we find her in that state at your house?” Emma asked, a bit irritated.The knights in shining suits all glared at her, but not a single glare of theirs was as sharp as the one she received from that Williams guy, he ran his fingers over his silky black hair before

I stare at my surroundings with a ghost of a smile, a weird warmness taking over my heart, it was faint but it was there, the feeling of Déjà vu, of knowing this place.to be honest I didn’t know if it was some blocked memories trying to resurface or just the preexisting knowledge that this is where I used to live with Maisie before moving to the Williams’ residence, whatever it was, it filled me with a strange… familiarity!I take a deep breath and walk further inside the apartment, Maisie trailing behind me, I am so happy she invited me back here, from what I understood I have moved six months ago to the Williams house to be a twenty four hours care taker, my job was to take care of his father, who suffered from

“This…” Maisie doesn’t finish her words, and I am grateful for that, I am already embarrassed enough as I am without anyone addressing it.“I will go get us more coffee…” she says while picking up the mugs and I just nod, still looking at my broken phone screen and the thousands of messages I shared with my potential rapist. Just what the hell is this?I scroll up and down in the conversation, between me and the so-called Nathanial Williams, unable to believe my own eyes.At first, they were all normal texts, work rel

“What could it be?” I asked, my eyes burning with all the tears, I hated the fact I was crying like a baby all the time but it was too much to take.Every day, every single day since I woke up not knowing who I am was but another labyrinth where I had to run and run trying to answer my questions but I only ended up with more.I feel like I was falling inside this endless pit, just falling and falling, neither saved nor crushed to the ground, I was stuck in midair with nothing but fear.I was devastated, mostly because without my memories, I felt naked to the eyes without anything covering me, it felt as if my memories were a shield that I used to hide

Hey…A damn ‘hey’…How stupid and irrational does one need to be to send their potential rapist a ‘hey’…A lot, apparently, and total absence to any sign of common sense, I wonder if I can blame that on my amnesia, I am not sure but maybe they are related.I hope they are related because I really don’t want to think of myself as a complete and utter dumdum.I stare at my stupid hey as it sat there on the conversation field and I cursed myself, wh