Abused

“Calm down, Natalia! Focus on my voice!” I look at the doctor who came to stand in front of me, her blue eyes staring at me with concern, and in her glasses, I see the reflection of another woman!

Scooting away from her, I back away using my hands until my back hits the wall, it is not the doctor who made me this scared though, it is the reflection I saw on her glasses, and the realization that came with it.

That woman! With the black messy hair and a dead pale face was me! I was looking at myself and yet I didn’t recognize me!

Seeing my state, the doctor returns to her earlier spot next to me and starts patting my back again, I want to thank her, to tell her how much I am grateful for this small gesture of hers, and that I don’t want to be left alone in this state I am in, but I don’t, I can’t, and I am in no state to care about my good manners while surrounded with these questions and ambiguity.

“It is okay, Natalia, you are safe now!” it is not okay! How can she say that it is okay? I don’t remember my own name! I don’t recognize my own body, these long pale fingers, these shivering hands, these frail looking wrists, these dark locks, I feel like this is the very first time I see them! How can this be okay?

My eyes burn and my vision becomes foggy, and I can sense an annoying wetness on my face, wet…water…eye…Tears! This wetness is called tears!

And I am…crying!

Raising my hand to wipe away the annoying wetness, I stop midway, for I notice something under my nails, something red that makes me disgusted.

Blood? but why is there blood under my nails?!

I look at the doctor, begging her for answers but I see she is busy, she has a…syringe in her hand, and she is injecting it in this thin transparent tube, I follow the tube and I see that it is attached to my hand!

Did she inject me with something? Is she a danger? Does she want to hurt me? I ask myself, but the tender look on her eyes tells me otherwise, not to mention that I feel suddenly calmer!

“Better?” she asks with a small smile, and even though she seems to know the answer, I still nod my head at her.

“Don’t worry…” the policewoman doesn’t get the finish her words as four new people walk in the room, the atmosphere suddenly changes into something intense, the doctor stands up but keeps her hand on my shoulder, all while the policewoman takes this protective stand in front of us!

What is going on? And who are these new people?

The first person I see is an older woman, wearing a white coat as well, and then a young black man in a green uniform, what is he? care…help…assistant…A nurse! The third is a policeman for he was wearing the same uniform as the policewoman, and the fourth…

The fourth is trouble, I can tell!

Unlike everyone else in the room, who are giving me concerned looks, the man in the black suit is glaring at me, his black eyes look at me from behind his thick glasses in a skeptical, almost disgusted way.

“If she is awake then we shall take her testimony.” He says formally, his voice respectful but in the same time edgy, it scares me and the doctor notices it, her hand tightens on my shoulder reassuringly, I then hear her talk in an equally edgy tone, but this time, she is not addressing me.

“She just woke up and still under shock. Surely you can wait until she is calm enough to talk.”

“I can, but Mr. Williams can’t, or shall I remind you that he is now in captivity?”, I hear that name and again I am destabilized, who is this man they are talking about? And what does he have to do with me? Why do I feel this way whenever someone says his name?

“He is not in captivity.” The policewoman rolls her eyes at him. “He is just held for investigation; we can’t arrest him without her pressing charges against him.”

“It didn’t look so when you handcuffed him and then dragged him half naked out of his own house!” The man retorts, is he some kind of a lawyer to this Williams guy? Why is he defending him so adamantly? More so, what do I have to do with that man getting arrested?

“I don’t think we should discuss this matter here.” The older doctor said and we all turn to her, I am feeling overwhelmed and scared by all the questions but I still want to hear them, I don’t want to be left in the blue like this, it is a horrible feeling, as if I am running in an empty circle, with my eyes blindfolded.

“Why not? I demand to hear her confirmation!”

“My confirmation?” I blurt out and all eyes turn to look at me. Hell, it was painful to say those two words but I couldn’t sit around while everyone talked about me as if I wasn’t in the room, I need explanations! I demand explanations!

“About what happened last night, please note that you are going to face some serious consequences if you decide to throw some baseless accusations that would turn out to be false.” I shiver while hearing his voice, why would I throw baseless accusations on anyone? And why is he addressing me this harsh way? Does he have some grudge against me? I look at the doctor, for some reason she feels like the person I can trust the most and she steps forward defensively.

“I am afraid I have to ask you to get out, the patient is in a delicate state of mind and cannot take an interrogation right now, if you have any problems with that, please discuss them out with the police, for this is a hospital, not the court.” The doctor spoke with finality, and as if having a prior agreement, the police woman stands up and nods, and before I know it everyone but the two doctors walks out of the room.

“Thank you.” I said in a small voice, I didn’t know why but that man really intimidated me, now that there are only two doctors with me, I feel much calmer, I take deep breaths before looking at them, and the older doctor is the one who talks.

“Do you know who I am, Natalia?”, I shake my head right away, I don’t recognize either of them but I somehow feel this strong presence she is imposing.

“I see, do you recognize her?” she point toward the other doctor who smiles warmly at me, I smile back at her before shaking my head apologetically, I don’t know why but I somehow feel guilty for not recognizing the woman who was trying to help me.

“Before you ask, I don’t recognize myself either.” I blurt out and she raises her perfect brow at me, not in a rude way though. I see them exchange a knowing look and I am somehow irked, if they know something, they should say it already.

“Do you remember anything about yourself? About your life?” this time, it was the nice doctor who asked, I take few seconds to think before shaking my head, my mind is completely blank.

“What happened last night?” I ask them and they exchange a look, so I hurriedly add before they agree on anything that doesn’t include telling me the truth

“Please tell me the truth! what happened to me? why am I here?”

The nice doctor hesitates a little, she looks at me before looking at the elder woman who is staring at me with interested eyes, as if deeply thinking about something, I wait for few seconds before she drops her bomb.

“We don’t know exactly, Natalia, but something happened last night between you and Mr. Williams.”

“Mr. Williams?” I repeat after her, the one under arrest, the one whose knight in shining suit was ready to give me a heart attack for?

“As you have already heard, Mr. Williams is now under investigations, he is accused of trying to…sexually abuse you.”