All Chapters of Unconditional Love: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

“Anastasia? Where are you? ”I am torn out of my dreams rather roughly and groan.My headaches are really almost worth an entry in the book of world records, I feel like I haven't slept at all."Anastasia Coleman?" Comes again and I curse for ever giving my mum a key to my apartment."Here you are ..." she comes into the bedroom and pulls the curtains aside with a strong jerk so that the sun shines on my face."Mum." I moan and throw my covers over my head."Get up ..." she mercilessly pulls the covers away and I come up sleepily. It is unmistakable that she is angry, but she always is, so she has to tell me the reason, she has admittedly enough reasons ...My God, what time is it actually?I rub my eyes and take a look at my cell phone, which is on the bedside table. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a Monday morning, the night was clearly too short ...“I won't ask you again.” My mum now says in a sharp tone to

What?" I look at her in horror. "How do you imagine that?""Pack your things, take a shower and I'll take you to the plane." She nods to me."It's getting harder and harder for me not to see that as a punishment." I know I sound defiant, but I notice how I am raising my defensive shield to full strength, otherwise I would not be able to survive this.First I go to the bathroom and stand in the shower, the warm water pelts me and mixes with my tears.'Jonathan would never have wanted that for you ...' it echoes over and over in my head. Why can't she tell him John, he hated it as much as I did to be called by our own parents' full name, but they have never been very considerate of our feelings.Why should they start now of all times?I clench my fists and try to regain control of myself, something I have perfected over the past few years.On the outside the radiant, fun-loving young woman who never leaves anything out, but fragile insi

The 19, because I was born on September 19th ...He picked this number because of me.I was his lucky charm ...In addition to his passion, he also managed to complete his law degree with top grades, he only had his second state examination ahead of him and then he wanted to join our parents' office.Coleman & Coleman should finally get their junior partner ...I look into the clouds that spread like cotton candy below us.Tormented, I close my eyes as the memories of the worst day of my life come back.I don't want to think about it now ... I just can't.On the almost 13 hour flight to London I try not to think too much, basically I just have the option to let everything come to me ...Fortunately for me, I overslept most of the flight and so I don't have the opportunity to think.When I land in London it is cold and gray and I drag my bags across the airport to catch my connecting plane to Dublin.I a

With that she goes and I look out of the window, I have a view of the city center, quite built up and nothing to see of the sea far and wide.I will really miss that, I could see the ocean from my apartment in LA and I loved it ...The ocean reminds me of him, because I was close to him.I used to go surfing so often, but I haven't been on a board since three years ago.Maybe I would do it again someday, because I loved it when the wind and the sun made me forget my worries for a moment ..."So, you're equipped with that." Grace comes back, gets me out of my thoughts and puts a box on the bed. "Here's a new Sim card, Heather said you left yours with her." She hands me an envelope. "My number is on it, please call me." She comes to me and puts her hand on my crossed arms knows, all of this may not be what you imagined, but your mum is desperate. I can only guess how much John's death affected you, but Ana ... "she puts a hand under my chin and force

On the 30-minute walk to university, I am delighted to discover a Starbucks and get myself an iced chocolate mocca, no matter how cold it is here, I love the taste of coffee with chocolate.Then I enter the grounds of Trinity College for the first time through the large stone gate and take a deep breath. I look around and find a sign that says Dean and set off to follow the signs. I mean, I'm from LA, it won't be that difficult.Wrong ... at some point there are just no more signs and I turn around in circles before I bump into someone again."Sorry." I say immediately and close my eyes in agony when I see who I have bumped into again."This time it almost sounds like you mean it." Smiles my "victim"."I'm really sorry." I tell him and pick up his bag to pass it to him."No problem, but can it be that you are standing in the middle of the way?" He tilts his head questioningly."Yes." I admit, "I have to go to the dean's office."

I don't give everyone information." He laughs "Besides, I didn't know you were studying law." He adds, "Come on Ana, this is your first day ..." He puts his hand on my forearm "... I wanted to Offer you to go through the material with you. ”He offers me and I tilt my head."That's really nice." I thank you."Was that a yes or a no?" He looks waiting in my direction.I have to stay out of anger, in any case ..."Unfortunately no, I think I know who to turn to." I sigh again. "Thank you anyway.""You're welcome." He nods slightly."Nate, I have to ..." I put my free hand on his, which is still on my forearm, "Basic rights are waiting for me and I hope I'm not a total loser too.""Cheer up Ana." He replies encouragingly and I start looking for the lecture hall. In fact, I am relieved to see that I can really keep up with the level in this subject, and I go into the lunch break with a somewhat relaxed structure.I withdraw to

Fortunately, Dexter arrives moments later and I get into his car.“Isn't it raining?” I grimace and he laughs."You're not in sunny California anymore." He reminds me."Really now?" I roll my eyes and look out the window on the way to his and Grace's house.My life in California seems so distant to me, as if I haven't been here for a few days, but for years ...They have a house in Blackrock, a beautiful part of the city by the sea and Grace hugs me as soon as I enter the house with Dexter."Nice that you asked Dex." She takes my face in her hands and I smile tentatively.I'm slowly starting to allow feelings again. Suddenly it doesn't matter anymore that she hugs me, because I'm slowly realizing that maybe she isn't just doing it out of pity.It's different with my parents ... My dad doesn't hug me at all and my mum immediately presses me.It's different with Grace, in her eyes I don't just see reproach and

Dex takes his tutoring very seriously and for the next 8 weeks I am studying every night without exception. He helps me finish my theses, proofreads them and helps me a little here and there. Except, of course, the work for accounting and commercial law, which I have to write alone like everyone else, but I can use his library and thus save myself the evenings in the university library.Accounting law and business law are becoming my favorite subjects alongside European law, because that's where I see Nate and I'm happy to see him.He doesn't correspond at all to the image with which my previous long-term and short-term relationships had to compete, but a smile from him is enough and I feel better.My heart is beating faster and I can feel my cheeks start to glow.As nice as this feeling is, I limit myself to looking at him secretly, because I can't take a step towards him.He's my teacher and that means problems.And I have to stay out of p

As soon as I am here and she is standing in front of me, I notice that I am building my self-protection wall around me again.With Grace and Dex it is as easy for me to be like the Ana I used to be, but one look into my mum's eyes is enough and I close again ..."Your dad is very happy that you decided to come." She walks next to me as we go to the car."Hmm." I nod vaguely."We have all your things brought from the apartment to the guest room." She concentrates on the traffic and I look at her from the side.I should have stayed in Dublin ...This Christmas will be a catastrophe, I can already feel it.It is early evening when we drive up the driveway to my parents' house. I haven't been here in a long time and I confess I'm scared of what to expect.My dad reads his newspaper when we walk into the living room and doesn't even get up to greet me. We haven't seen each other for almost 3 months."Hello Dad." I say softly.

She's just pretending that the conversation didn't even take place yesterday, she ignores it."Here's a present from me and your dad." She holds out a small present and I look at her in surprise.I carefully unwrap it and hold a car key in my hand.“Seriously mum? I don't live in LA anymore, just in case you've forgotten. ”I put the key on the table."But you'll come back, until then he'll be safely in our garage." She whistles and I go into the kitchen.I need a coffee, otherwise I won't survive this ...My dad is in the office and I'm not even surprised, I spend my days in LA looking forward to flying back to Dublin on January 2nd.The banquets become a spectacle that is second to none. Every day new guests and always smiling friendly and providing information about whether I have managed to get clean in the last three months. I didn't even know that I had a problem with alcohol or drugs ...Okay, I'd like to have