Chapter One

TAMARA 

"That's what you get when you let your heart break, ohhhh!" 

The serenity of Tuesday night was disrupted by me singing at the top of my lungs. I danced on my bed with my invisible mic as if I was on stage. I probably scared the lizards on the ceiling. Loud music was blaring out of the speakers. There were some times when mom would peer at my door and say, "Can you please stop that noise?" I admit I get a little bit infuriated before whenever she tells me that but as she repeated that almost a hundred times, I got used to it and just laugh at her remark now. My music wasn't her type of music because she likes mellow love songs, the ones that make her flash back her teenage years.

 I've taken a nap and guess what? I dreamt that I held hands with Hayley Williams of Paramore. It felt so real! The digits of the clock told me that it was seven o'clock. This night was going to be great because we have a gig! In addition to that, I'd be seeing my kitten named Cole. Well, he was not literally a kitten but I call him like that because he was cute and cuddly. A night with him is perfect so what am I waiting for? I climbed out of the bed and stepped inside the shower room. 

I've been living for 21 years in the world. I stopped college because I thought that it was not so beneficial for me. I hated seeing hipsters, social climbers, terror teachers and everything in school. In short, I despised school that's why I stopped studying. It was my decision, not my mom's that's why she didn't talk to me for days. Life is short so I chose to do what I love. don't want to spend my life with things that stress me out. I pursued music since it's my passion. 

I dried my auburn hair with my hair blower. I always want my hair to be styled at its best. I change its color every month. I remember last month that I dyed it green. It made me look like an algae. 

When I was all prepared, I went downstairs to bid goodbye to my mom. She was washing the dishes in the sink. I gave her a backhug.

"Sweet morning, mom," I said. I planted a kiss on her cheek. 

She turned to me and wiped her hands using her skirt. Her eyebrows furrowed as she scanned me from top to bottom. "Are you going to a funeral, Tamara?" 

I mentally rolled my eyes.  I know what she's talking about. I'm worn in dark clothes. I always receive comments like that from her. Maybe she was missing her endearing Tamara who was fond with dresses, mostly in pastel colors.

I sighed. "We have a gig at a cafe. Don't worry, mom. The café isn't at outer space. I'll be with Cole, Nate, Sam, and Ivy. The bandmates, you know." 

"What time are you going home?"

"Probably ten o'clock. I'll call you. Cole is with me, anyway. He won't let anything bad happen to me."

"Alright. Take care."

"Yes, mom. I will." I gave her another kiss on the other cheek. I turned my heel to marvel out of the house. 

I couldn't wait to rock this night away. 

- 

     After 20 minutes, I was finally on the venue. I spotted Cole, Sam, and Nate sitting at the hood of the car in front of the café. Cole automatically smiled when he saw me. I walked towards them

"Hey, fellas," I greeted. 

They all waved at me. 

I drew close to Cole who was sitting beside Nate. I wrapped my hands around his neck as he gave me a peck of kiss on my lips.  He pulled me closer to him by grabbing my waist. I disheveled his hair that was the same color as mine. He was the one who influenced me to dye my hair. Before, I was contented just letting mine flow in its natural color but I wanted to add something to my style so I decided to dye it. From then on,  we used to dye our hair together. 

"You look good,  kitten," I commented.  His sex appeal was oozing even though he's just dressed in jeans and a plain back shirt. Maybe that's why he's the crowd's favorite. "You always look good in my eyes, anyway." 

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Don't tell me that, please or I might fall harder for you." He planted a kiss on my cheek. 

Nate cringed. He covered his eyes with his hands. "What a disgusting scene. Get a room, you guys." 

He has always been like that.  He hates seeing romantic scenes. I guess that's why he hasn't had a girlfriend yet until now. 

"Shut up,  four eyes," Sam teased.  He called him "four eyes" because Nate was wearing square rimmed glasses. 

"You better lose weight first before calling me four eyes," Nate shot back. 

"Oh,  really? Even though my waist line is more than forty, I have a girlfriend." 

Speaking of girlfriend, Ivy came.  As usual, there's a guitar slung over her shoulder with her hair in pigtails. 

"Hello, baby!" Sam said to Ivy. 

Nate diverted his gaze to something else to avoid witnessing a PDA again. Poor Nate. I hope he could find a girlfriend soon. 

We had a little chitchat first then afterwards, we headed inside the café to prepare for the gig. There were a lot of people, mostly couples that were dating but I sensed something. The atmosphere gave me an eerie feeling. I shrugged it off, maybe it's just me or maybe it had something to do with the dim lights. 

"Hello guys, how are you doing? My name's Cole, this girl beside me is Tamara, Sam here, Nate there and then Ivy and we're Chocolate Eclairs. So this song that we are going to play first is I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift," Cole began. "Rock version," he added.

The crowd clapped and cheered. Then the intro started. I cleared my throat. I'm going to be the first to sing. Why am I feeling weird?

"Once upon a time, 

A few mistakes ago

I was in your sights 

You got me along 

You found me 

You found me 

You found me-e-e-..."

I adjusted the mic stand according to my height. My eyes are closed while I'm singing but I feel like someone is eyeing me. I opened my eyes and scanned the café. I was struggling to keep my focus. I was uncomfortable, something was bothering me. 

Cole looked at me as if asking something. I diverted my gaze to something else.

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."

I looked at every faces of the people that were watching us. My heart was beating so loud like it wants to come out of my rib cage. My palms were sweaty. My knees were wobbly. 

I lost the song. My eyes caught someone—a guy on a blue sweater and a black bonnet at the middle of the crowd. My eyes widened, I couldn't believe what I saw. My breathing stopped. I blinked multiple times to assure that I'm in reality.

 I couldn't move a finger as if I'm paralyzed. Our eyes locked He was also looking at me! After a few seconds, he disappeared. I don't know what came into my mind but I walked out of the stage to follow him, not bothering to throw a glance to my bandmates. 

I ran as fast as I could to search for him. Was it just my mind that is playing with me? Or he was really there? I went to the exit. I paced back and forth but I didn't catch a glimpse of his shadow. 

I felt a hand touched my right shoulder. I turned, it was Cole. 

"What happened to you? Are you alright?" he asked with worry etched through his face. 

That's when it sink on me, we're on a gig and I shouldn't have left the stage. I looked around to make sure that he's not really anywhere. Did I just hallucinate?

"What happened?" he asked.

I was too fazed to answer so I just walked away.

-

I couldn't erase in my mind the image that I saw. I swear it was real. Those pair of eyes strucked every fibre of my being.  I was certain that I'm not taking hallucinogens or any sort of drugs to make me hallucinate things. Could it be because of lack of sleep? If only my mom was here,  she'd say it's because of the kind of music I am playing. 

This couldn't be. 

"Did you see a ghost? Why did you leave the stage in the middle of the performance?" Sam asked, his arm slung over Ivy's shoulder.

I pulled my hair frustratedly and bit my lip, "I-I saw...nothing..." 

Cole beside me smoothed my hair with his hand. He whispered, "Maybe you're just tired.  You need to get enough sleep, sweetheart."

After some few minutes, I finally got home. Cole kissed me before I walked out of the car whilst my bandmates gave me a high five and told me to get enough sleep. Ivy mouthed me to text her later. I am really thankful that they are understanding creatures. Maybe they're right, I just probably lack sleep that's why my mind is creating some images. 

Mom was at the kitchen. She greeted me so I greeted her back. I barged into my room. I removed my shoes. I had a weird feeling again, my stomach is crumbling like crazy but hindi naman ako gutom. Why am I feeling like this? 

"TAMARA!" I heard outside the house.  

My body went numb. For a moment,  the world stopped. I haven't heard that voice for how many years but I haven't forgotten to whom it is. 

I didn't know what I'm supposed to do. My mind went blank. 

"TAMARA!" There was it again. 

My feet seemed to have a mind of their owns. I stood up. I peeped through the curtains of the open window. I wish I didn't peep when I saw that very familiar figure standing outside our house. 

Why was he here?