Chapter Two

TAMARA 

I felt as if I'd faint anytime.  I breathed for air. So I wasn't just hallucinating when I saw him in the crowd? Even though his appearance had changed, I was still able to recognize him because of his ocean blue eyes where I was once drowned in. Madness rushed through me. I already considered him dead and then suddenly, there he was rising from his tomb like a zombie. 

I peeped through the window, careful for him not to see me. He was still standing outside, as if waiting for me to come out of the house. I reclined against the wall with my knees on my chest.  What am I supposed to do? 

I don't wanna face someone whom I once turned my back on. My life is already perfect, would he mess it up again? I took a sharp intake of breath to calm myself. 

Minutes later, I heard some knocks on my door. 

"Tamara?"

That was mom's voice. 

"Yes, mom?" I responded.

"You have a visitor downstairs." 

I shook my head in annoyance. Mom let him in? Gosh, I'm pestered! This couldn't be. Could someone wake me up if this is just a dream? 

It took a minute before I answered.  "O-Okay. I'll be there.  Just wait a second."

Taking a deep breath, I looked at my reflection in the mirror before barging out of my room. I wanna step back and hide inside my closet. Why the hell did that guy come into our house? I clenched my fist into a ball. And why did mom let him in? Have she forgotten what happened between me and that jerk?

When I went downstairs, I spotted the guy in the bonnet sitting next to mama. They were happily talking. I felt a sudden ache in my heart. He doesn't look all the same. Beard has grown on him. His body was more muscular than before. His golden hair was still naturally curled. I swallowed the lump on my throat. Everything that happened in the past flashed back to my memory like a movie scene. I stood properly, trying to build my composure, telling myself that I shouldn't be affected by him. 

I shouldn't be really affected with my ex-boyfriend. I have already moved on, anyway. 

I cleared my throat to get his attention. They both turned their gaze on me. 

"Tamara, I'm glad you're already here." 

When our eyes met, I froze. He looked dangerous like he was a predator then I was his prey and if I ever dare to take a step closer to him,  I'll be doomed.  My throat ran dry.  I couldn't find the strength to look away. 

Mama broke the awkward silence between us, "I'm just prepare something to eat, okay?" 

She stood up and left the two of us in the couch. 

At last, I looked away. I sat on the couch, reminding myself that I should keep a distance away from him. I want to speak but no words want to come out of my mouth.  I am staring at the floor, trying to divert my attention to something so that I won't be affected by his presence. He rendered me speechless. 

"Tamara," he called. 

His deep baritone voice sent shivers down my spine. It's been a long time since I last heard his voice. 

I had no response. I could see in my peripheral vision that he was staring at me. In that moment,  I wish I could just disappear. 

"How are you?" he asked, sounding so casual like I was just his old classmate that he hasn't seen for months. 

"W-What are you doing here?" I said weakly, my voice turned out just above a whisper. 

"Nothing," he answered. 

My jaw clenched. Why do I feel that he's fooling around me? 

I turned my head. I shot him a glare. "I suppose that you lost your insanity. You escaped from a mental institution and you didn't know where to go so your feet led you here.  Ha!  I get it."

He chuckled. "What's with the anger? I'm not doing anything wrong." 

You did something wrong,  jerk! I wanna beat the shit out of him,  curse him but I maintained my composure for I don't wanna appear weak in front of him.  I don't want him to have a power over me. 

I faked a laugh. "Do you think I'm angry? No,  I'm not. I'm just suspecting things." 

"You haven't changed." A smile tugged his lips, showing off his dimples. 

"I have changed." 

"No,  you didn't. You're still the same Tamara I've known. It's just your hair color that changed…and your fashion...and you became more dominant but you're still Tamara." 

I don't know why is he pointing out the differences that occurred to me. 

"So how are you?" he asked. 

"I'm doing better than I ever was. I'm happier than four years ago." 

Four years ago. That was when we came to an end. 

His eyebrows furrowed. "What are you trying to tell me?" 

"I didn't mean anything. Just shrug it off." 

"Aren't you going to ask me how am I?" 

"How are you, Sean? There. I already asked you," I said. Woah. His name fell out of my lips with hatred. 

"I'm fine but not as fine as five years ago." 

I gulped. I know what he was trying to tell me but I don't wanna push it in my mind. I don't wanna conclude. 

I kept my cool even though deep inside, I badly want to scream at him. I remember him telling me before that he couldn't live without me. If that so, why he wasn't he dead yet? It was pathetic how foolish I was to believe his sugarcoated lies. 

"So what brought you here?" I asked. 

"As you told earlier, I escaped from a mental institution." He stifled a laugh. 

Was he trying to throw a joke? It was absurd, I wanna puke. In the first place, I shouldn't be laughing with him or even talk to him, at the very least. 

When he noticed my disgusted expression, he stopped laughing. 

"I-I was just kidding. The truth is I wanna see you."