Chapter Fourteen

2020-11-16 16:30:20

TAMARA

My skin was already painted with paleness as I stayed here in the bathtub for almost four hours already. The water tasted salty because of my tears that mixed in. The trace of his fingers in my thighs, the way he held me in his arms yesterday made me realize how much I want him. And I know wanting him is like destructing myself. It seems like the thoughts that he was the one who broke my heart has been washed away by his

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Still Into You Chapter Seventeen

I sat there alone while hugging my knees, warming myself from the cold breeze that was seeping through my skin. I thought the thick fabric of my sweater is enough to make me feel warm but I guess I was wrong. The midnight sky was blanketed with a trail of stars that light up the dark. Before, midnights don't make sense to me. They're just a part of life, a reminder that children need to sleep. Now, they are more than bedtime stories to me. Midnight is not just a time, it's a place to find love when you're hopeless, when you're troubled. Everytime I catch a glimpse of the midnight sky, it'll remind me of Sean. Its hue would be a figment of a memory. What kind of memory? I can't quite tell for now but I am sure of one thing; I don't want Sean to be just a memory. I heard footsteps behind me. I looked over my shoulder and despite of the darkness, I saw Sean coming to my direction. There was something different with

Still Into You Chapter Sixteen

TAMARA You look more beautiful without that lipstick on. That's my girl." Sean's words resonated on my mind as I puckered my maroon shaded lips. For the last couple of years, I felt cool with the ripped jeans, tank tops, and dyed hair. It made me even feel cooler when the guitar was added. The admiration that I received from the crowd made me believe that I rock. Cole was the one behind of who I am at the stage. When I met him, my impression of myself of being that pathetic girl vanished. He saved me. With him, I'm no longer that pathetic girl. But when I wore that yellow sundress yesterday, I felt different. It was unexplainable. It felt like me, with my doll shoes, bare face, and with Sean. I am complete. The vacancy in my heart was filled with happiness that I wish that no one would take away from me and that happiness is Sean. But how sure am I

Still Into You Chapter Fifteen

TAMARA The morning was crisp and clear as the sun was tickled by the wisp of white clouds. The petals of the flowers were hit by the sunlight, their beauty dazzling me for the hundredth time. I decided to water the flowers in the garden. We have sunflowers, daffodils and tulips but what mama loves the most are the sunflowers. They are her favorite. Usually, she wakes up early in the morning to water them. That was a part of her routine since I was just young. But this time she's not home so I'll just be the one who will do the chore. While I was watering them, a bright yellow butterfly landed on my right hand. I had to swallow my giggle because I was scared that I might scare it. I stared at it with awe. Eventually, it flew away. My gaze followed the direction where it flew and I found myself smiling like a kid. I had to say that this is the best second of my life.

Still Into You Chapter Fourteen

TAMARA My skin was already painted with paleness as I stayed here in the bathtub for almost four hours already. The water tasted salty because of my tears that mixed in. The trace of his fingers in my thighs, the way he held me in his arms yesterday made me realize how much I want him. And I know wanting him is like destructing myself. It seems like the thoughts that he was the one who broke my heart has been washed away by his passionate kisses. That thing that happened in the sheets are still vivid to me. From the sound of his voice groaning my name, whispering such sacred profanities that almost made me lose my sanity. Indeed, it would take me another couple of years to forget what happened between us. How can I be so stupid? Why did I let him use me? I swallowed my sobs. Gosh. I don't know what to do. Everything was just so wrong—from me enterin

Still Into You Chapter Thirteen

TAMARAThe cold breeze seeping through my senses made everything feel like December. The trail of big clouds were scattered on the tar-black sky like there is a heavy surge coming. As I was walking on my way here, my hands were feeling icy so I had to blew them up. I felt like a floating feather in restlessness. Perhaps it was because of the weather or it might be because the loud beating of my heart deafened me. I breathed heavily, trying to wrap around my head why I was even here. Yes, I already told myself not to talk to him again yet here I am at his front porch steps with expecting of the unknown. This is what he wants, isn't it? If you don't love me anymore, go to my place tomorrow. I wish this time, he would believe me that I am telling the truth. I want him to stop already. I want to put my restless nights to an end, to stop my mornings from being instilled with worr

Still Into You Chapter Twelve

TAMARAThere's always a point in our life wherein we could be so stupid for being pathetic. Well, last night was like that. Everything was planned in my head. I was supposed to be the princess, stealing my prince away from some human version of disaster but I turned out be a damsel in distress, just a sort of Cinderella who doesn't have a fairy godmother. "Disappointed" is an understatement for how I feel now. I knew what I should do but my emotions got over me again for the nth time. I ended up as the loser whereas Sean? He's probably thinking that I'm still holding on to him.Last night was a wrong move. I should've not went to the rooftop, I just gave Sean a chance for us to be alone and talk like that. I should've stayed by Cole's side and pretend that everything is cool but deep inside, everything is just killing me.Crying in front of Sean is wrong. Now, if we ever see each other again, what am I going to say? Would

Still Into You Chapter Eleven

TAMARA I almost didn't recognize the girl standing in front of the mirror until I realized I was staring at my reflection. I was clad in a black halter dress that reached the above of my knees that Ivy gave me last Christmas. I thought I would never have the chance t

Still Into You Chapter Ten

TAMARAI was with the band inside the car. I watched the green leaves outside while the wheels were going round and round. We were on the way to the café where we were going to perform. Cole was beside me with his headphones on. I was just like a non-existe

Still Into You Chapter Nine

TAMARA The whiff of moist leaves from the opened window seeped through my room, waking up my senses. It was late afternoon, past four o'clock and the breeze was cooler. I rubbed my eyes, tossing and turning on the bed. I stared at the wall as I had a recollection of

Still Into You Chapter Eight

TAMARA A rush of regrets were washing over me. I wish I didn't go outside to check out what was happening to Sean, I should've slept instead. I wish I didn't leave him alone in our house. What if he would do something morbid while I was out here? What he said kept on

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Chapter Fourteen

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