CHAPTER NINE- PERFECT

JOANABE POV

My heart just got stabbed by Kane Boucher in the restaurant, and now the knife is getting deeper by the sudden news that got strike on me.

*MY BESTFRIEND IS MARRYING THE MAN I'VE BEEN WANTING FOR SO LONG.*

I forced a laugh, "Pfft... AHAHAHA... Congratulations, Cheryl. Soon to be Mrs. Boucher."

"Thank you. Your coming to my wedding, you are going to sing for me, okay?"She softly said to me through the phone.

"Yes, I-I will." I shutter under my breath while saying those words. I cannot imagine that things will end up like this. I did not know there was something between them. I thought that he is willing to wait for me, nor am I the only one who loves him?

*WAS I REALLY THAT NAIVE TO BELIEVE SUCH A PROMISE?*

I hang up the phone and throw it away from me. I send punches in my steering wheel.  I kick in my pedal, and I just want to hurt myself physically as I am feeling the pain emotionally--mentally. I am drained, for today. 

My head is spinning not because I had alcohol, but I am drunk in this madness inside of me. This reality is hard for me. I did not know which part of my deserve this s***!

For many years of working hard to achieve what I want, but it looks like pain and hurt are my best friend.

I started the engine and drive in these colorful yet dreadful streets. I stopped in my condominium. I do not want Mom to see how miserable I am, and I do not wish to drag her into this mess.

My eyeball stares at the mirror that is right in front of the door when I open it. I look haggard in my white lace dress. Who would love me this way? Who would love a girl as trash as I am?

Inside this concrete, white walls are my white bed with clean white sheets, bathroom on the left side, and to my right is my grand piano. This room is not that extravagant. It is much simpler than it seems.

Instead of rushing to bed to drive to sleep or going to the bathroom for a warm bath, I immediately sprint to my piano to vent out my negative emotions. These scars are getting bigger and deeper for me to keep.

With my weary eyes, white cocktail dress with red shoes. I lifted the case that's covering the keys as I take a deep breath and start pressing the first key.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*TANG*

I sing the song Perfect by Ed Sheeran, not for me, but her---

For the person special to him on this special day for them.

I look at the girl. No, to the woman that is about to walk in the aisle with her man standing near the altar, waiting for her to be by his side. I am singing a song on their wedding day. This big day for them. Lucky them!

I tried not to shed a tear on this day, for I am no longer part of him. I tried not to shed a bitter tear for the happiness of the two. I tried, I tried, I tried.

They look so happy the crowd looks so emotional, watching Kane and Cheryl become one in God's presence. Cheryl looked in my way. She looks so perfect and breathtaking, unlike me, who is unattractive in many ways.

She speaks by syllables in the air to me, "T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U."

A tear escapes from my eyes. I wish I can be her. I wish it was me whom Kane wants to spend for the rest of his life.

Kane patiently waits for her to get to his side while savoring his view. After Cheryl arrives at him, she takes his arm and walks together to the altar to meet the priest who will bless their day.

My ears want to be deaf at this very moment of these holy words from the priest.

"Cheryl Williams. Do you take Kane Boucher as your husband?"

She happily and firmly said, "I do, Father."

"Kane Boucher. Do you take Cheryl Williams as your wife?"

"Yes, I do." He said, kissing his hand that is held by Cheryl.

"I may pronounce you husband and wife."

The crowd is celebrating while clapping and cheering for the newlywed.

"You may kiss the bride." The priest said happily with a big bright smile on his face.

They pull each other in a kiss to secure their feelings for each other. I closed my eyes while tears continue to fall. I can't bear to watch it. I can sense my eyes will bleed due to this.

The crowd is getting louder. The whistles, laughter, and joy fill the church, but it does not stitch the hole in my heart.

So I immediately ran away from the church, staying away from what causes me heartache.

"AHHH!!"

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?" I cry and yell away from the church.

This agony is such a beautiful trauma.

People really love to come and go. 

My legs are wobbling that they can no longer stand or withstand the world I am stepping. I kneel in this place and alone, crying.

"Joanabe?"

A pitch voice behind my back calls my attention as she speaks my name, and I immediately look back.

"Joanabe, I know it is sad, but that's how life is. You will never get what you want, I mean, not always it comes to what you plan." Shally faintly said to me.

"Why are you here?" I aggressively ask with my frown face.

"I followed your steps, way out of the church. Kane invited me today. I did come late to their ceremony, for I am busy with my schedules. Let's head back? I haven't greet or Congratulate them. I know for sure. Cheryl or Kane will be looking for you," She said to me with an awkward smile.

I roll my eyes, "Whatever."

"Stop with your drama, please, you have a concert to attend. Do not forget about it. Don't forget me, Joanabe. Now let's head back to them before things become more dramatic," She offered her hand to me, helping me to get up.

I gently take it and stands from kneeling.

"Sorry about this. Pretend you did not see this." I said plainly.

"Sure, I won't say a word, but your lonely heart is taking the knife too deep. Plus, your face is telling it all." She is mocking me.

"I don't care," I annoyingly say.

"Fix yourself, Joanabe." She tells me with a smirk.

"Just not a word, Shally." I hiss.

"I won't, Joanabe. Trust me. I may not have a good impression on you, but I am trustworthy," She claims with her voice deep with sincerity. Her eyes examine me. 

"I may not know what happened to both of you, but you know that I am aware. I am starting to feel worried about you." She weakly speaks. I know what she means, but I feel nothing to her words.

Shally touches my forehead then fix my hair, "There!" She satisfying tells herself with a gentle smile.

"Ready or not, we must go." Shally claims and grips in my wrist to drag me back to the church, where everyone is having a great time.

As soon as we arrive-

"Joanabe, I was looking for you!" 

No, not you. Please.