Chapter Nine

I was numb. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I wish I was dead. I couldn't believe he found me somehow to ruin my life again. I thought of calling Emma and telling here but I didn't wanna ruin her mood. The sound of my phone brought me back to my senses.

It was Jake. I couldn't answer his call. I can't pull his life in danger when I knew what would happen if I continue to see him. I felt an ache in my heart. I just wanted him to hug me tightly and make everything go away and tell me things will be better. But that's not gonna happen. He is never going to want a girl with this much baggage. I should have know my little fantasy would come to an end. It must be easy for Jake to forget me as we didn't go out that much. We just went on a date or two and we kissed. It's not like we are in a serious relationship or something. He must probably forget about me after a day or two if I ignored his calls.

I got up and started to head back home. I took the bus again and as I reached my home, I saw a familiar car parked on my driveway and I knew I couldn't escape him now. He was sitting on my front porch with his head in his hands. On seeing me, he immediately ran and hugged me in relief. "Jake, please let me go." My voice felt robot-like.

"Like hell I'm gonna let you go." He was furious. Since it was dark he couldn't see my face which was a good thing.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been calling you for the past hour. I know I was a bit busy earlier and I'm sorry you had to take the bus. Are you seriously mad because of that? I came by the coffee shop but the lights were turned off. I didn't know what to think." He sounded genuinely confused.

"It's not that, I want to be alone right now. Can you respect that and please leave me?" I was lying through my teeth. All I wanted was him. I didn't wanna be alone. He looked at me as if I grew two heads.

"Don't do this Ashley. You are hiding something from me. Why the fuck is your neck bruised? Did someone hurt you? I'm not fucking leaving you" Holy fuck! How did he notice it in the dark? I myself didn't know it was bruised myself.

"Let's go inside and talk. Please baby don't do this." He pulled me to his chest again and I melted in his arms. How can I get rid of him if he keeps making me feel this way? This is difficult than I imagined. I was too tired to argue with him. I decided to go inside and tell him everything which will obviously make him leave. Truth was better than lying and hurting him.

"Let's go inside," I pulled away from him and went inside. He followed me and we sat on the couch. I could see him getting angry on seeing my neck and he was fuming with rage.

"Who did this to you? Did someone hurt you?" he asked again, taking my face in his hands, and he moved my hair aside to get a better look. I couldn't tell him but I had to, that was the only way to make him leave me.

"I have to tell you something about my past. I wanted to tell you this later when I thought you would be comfortable with me so that you wouldn't run away." I let out a dry chuckle.

"Nothing you say would make me leave you." He assured me and took my hands between his. I sighed and started to tell him.

"I was in a relationship during my high school, senior year. His name was Alex. He was a sweet guy and he asked me out when he saw me at a party. Things were pretty normal. We were like a regular couple at our school. As days went by, he didn't like me spending much time with my friends. He would ask me to skip classes to met him and asked me to stop talking to my friends. I couldn't understand it in the beginning. He wanted me all to himself. He said that it's because he loves me and wants me to be safe." I paused and peered at him, he was looking at me intently and I continued.

"He wouldn't let me talk to any girl or any guy. He wouldn't let me wear anything nice. He would say that I am trying to get attention from the guys. I was too naive. I thought people in love are like this and this was normal. I couldn't even talk to anyone about it as he told me not to speak to anyone. If he saw me talking....he...he would call me a slut and he would abuse me verbally. But after that, he would cry and apologize and say he loves me more than anything. And I would give in because I loved him too in spite of that weird toxic side of him. At least, I thought I did." It sounded so stupid when I was saying it to him right now. My voice broke a little and he took my hands and held it tightly.

"I knew he was hurting me but I convinced myself that he wasn't like that in the earlier stages of our relationship and the problem was with me. I tried to change myself for him. Later after a few days, one guy from our class gave me his phone number and told me to call him regarding some project as we had to partner up. I had no idea how Alex knew about it. When he saw me, he shoved me to the wall where no one could see us and...he..." I couldn't continue. I couldn't go through it. I could feel Jake getting angrier with every passing second.

"You don't have to," I could see the sadness in his eyes. He took my hands closer to his mouth and kissed it. God! I really hoped he didn't pity me.

"He slapped me and hit me hard. Every time I did something that he didn't like he would hit me and he would say that I was a slut and I deserved it. Even after that he would apologize and say he was sorry and he would make up to me. The verbal abuse turned into physical abuse." I cried my heart out and he wiped my tears.

"Finally I understood that this wasn't a relationship and he was fucked up in his head. I decided to build some courage and break up with him. I met him the next day at school and I told him I couldn't be with him anymore. I did it in a public place where he wouldn't be able to hurt me. He left without saying a word but during lunch when I was at my locker he dragged me through my hair and locked me up in a classroom and slapped me. He said I belonged to him and only him and he wouldn't let go of me." I paused and held back my sobs.

"Later my classmates and friends noticed that I wasn't happy with him anymore and I was actually suffering. I tried to communicate with Emma in signals and conveyed my message. She told the school authorities about him and how he was hurting me physically. He was reported to the police immediately and they took him away. I thought I was free and after graduation, I decided to get out of that town and study here. My parents had no idea about any of this. They let me study here since Emma convinced them." I started playing with the ends of my sleeve, not meeting his gaze.

"Today when I was about to close the shop. Someone held me from behind and shut my mouth. I thought it was you at first as you scared me like that earlier. He slammed me to the wall and choked me. He said if I let you get anyway near me he wouldn't just stop with a prank call and he said that he was watching me." I sobbed. I must have looked like a horrible crying mess in front of him.

"That call saying your dad was at the hospital was from him. He saw us being close and wanted to distract us. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for coming into your life and ruining it. I promise to not let him hurt you in any way from now." He stared at me in shock. His face was blank with no expression. I couldn't interpret anything.

"I understand if you wanna leave. It's okay Jake. Thanks for listening to me. Now you know why I asked you to leave. I am a mess, a horrible mess." I sighed feeling tired and drained out of energy. He said nothing and did something that never in my life I would have expected. He pulled me closer and made me sit on his lap and hugged me.

"You are so brave, do you know that? You continue to surprise me in every possible way." He didn't pity me which was a good thing.

"I can't believe you went through it. You are so naive and innocent. You still are," he buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"You can't be with me, Jake. It's too dangerous. I think we should stop this." I said with a heavy heart and he pulled back from my neck.

"Are you being serious? You do know who I am right? You have no idea what is coming to that bastard. I'm gonna ruin his life." I was scared to see this side of him. He looked like he was ready to kill him and I was too tired to ask him what he meant.

"One thing is sure. I am not leaving you no matter what happens. As I said earlier, nothing could make me leave you." He said with a firm face.

"But why? It's not like we are dating for a long time. We just went on one date. You don't want this trouble, Jake." I replied sadly, cupping his face with my hands.

"Ash, I wanted you from the second I set my eyes on you. I know we went on only one date. Does that matter? I like you so fucking much. Let me be there for you." He said with such warmth that I actually smiled after a long time.

"I would kill for this smile of yours. God, you are so beautiful even when you are a crying mess." He kissed my nose. I chuckled and buried my face in his chest forgetting about the whole world for a while. We stayed like that until I dozed off.