Kapitulo 3: Wake-up

I feel weak and sore. My body feels very heavy. As if a huge boulder was pressed against me. I can't even move a finger without feeling discomfort. What happened? My eyes frantically scanned my whole being.

Just then the disturbing memory of being thrown into the window flashed before my eyes. 

I-im....okay?

The white ceiling and the smell of disinfectant calmed my panicking spirit. 

I tried to stand up but a groan escaped my dry lips. I held back a gasped from the sudden stabbing pain that comes from my stomach. I barely moved but it hurts a lot. There is also a stinging feeling running all over my skin, it feels really weird and uncomfortable.

"Stay still."

A light, almost coaxing voice interrupted me.

My eyes met with an unfamiliar man in a white robe. He was sitting leisurely on the long couch behind a small glass table.

"W-who are you?" 

 A rough broken voice came out of my throat. 

My forehead creased. Even talking hurts, my throat feels like I had swallow a handful of dry sand ruthlessly scratching my throat.

I racked my brain to recall who he is and I'm sure I didn't know him before. So why is he here?

I watched the man as he put the newspaper he's holding away revealing his face. The man has a striking gray colored hair. He meticulously fold the paper before putting it atop the table.

As if sensing the inquiry in my eyes he smiled.

"Nurse Popin asked me to look after you. Do you need something? How are you feeling?"

I turned silent. The blurry vision that I suffered awhile ago was gone. But I still feel a little dizzy and a little disoriented.

My whole body is aching especially the left side of my stomach.

"My body hurts. My waist hurts."

It was as if someone roughly poke a hole in my stomach and twisted my insides. Even my limbs feel sore and aching. As if I have fallen off from a long stair.

"En, that should be normal, dear. You have two broken ribs. One punctured your lungs. And you have a deep wound on your stomach, it was sutured." 

The man nodded his head with a straight face.  However my eyes landed on the black hairy cat lazily lying on his lap. It's paws and ears are white like a perfect looking soft cotton ball.

The man gently stoke it's thick smooth fur. His long elegant fingers combing through the kitten's body. Earning him a satisfied purr.

"Then, I'll go first," he announced.

The man cradles the kitten close on his chest as he left.

The following days that passed were rather uneventful. Like a silent snail crawling in the wet ground.

After two weeks of staying inside the hospital, some of my wound already form scabs. It was a sign of healing.

The person who caused the accident that involves me was also punished accordingly.

Friends and some of my acquaintances visits my ward holding basket of flowers and fruits. Although they didn't visit for long. I was touched by their kind gesture.

During those days, I realized many things. I have pondered over my life a lot. It wasn't boring, it wasn't exciting and it wasn't as fulfilling as I have imagined. 

The accident was like a wake up call.

There are times where I will find myself staring at the door. Waiting for his silhouette, wondering if he knew of what has transpired to me- his wife who he wish to divorce. But I saw not even his shadow. He never visit me, not even once.

"Does he know?"

Patricia raise her brow. 

"Unless he's blind, which we both know he's not."

Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She gave the plate of freshly peeled apple which she cut into bite-sized, to me. I thank her before popping one slice to my mouth. 

The usually sweet fruit somehow left a bitterness in my tongue.

Sensing my gloomy mood, Patricia sighed.

"I tried contacting him to ask if when he will be coming to at least take care of you. But the call never get through. I'm sorry."

I look at the window and whispered a soft, 'It's not your fault.'

She chuckled and quickly change the topic.

"Have you prepared yourself? After you're healed, huh? You can not back out, Helga. I'm telling you or I'm gonna skin you alive. Mark my word."

I momentarily stopped chewing and shrugged. Laughing I turned to face her around. I tilted my head and made face. 

"You sounds more like a mother to me. You don't believe me?"

"Oh, common Helga don't give me that look, we both know how you rope yourself to Martin. Don't me, frenny. More like, give Martin a minute to flirt with you and you'll be back professing your undying love to him. Look at yourself, he had lied to you over and over again and you accepted him over and over again, too."

Patricia's familiar irritated litany of complaints made the corner of my lips raise.

Patricia never brought up the topic before the accident, when she called and heard me crying. She never asked any question, letting me adjust my emotions. However, I know she's just giving me the privilege to decide if I am willing to open up to her. And I'm thankful for that. Because I'm not yet ready.

Whatever happened before the accident, I just want to bury it in oblivion. Like what I always do. And pretend nothing happened, all is well. After all, I am the only one who knows it.

He did not know I was there. That I saw him cheating. Or maybe he did. He doesn't care anyway. What I'm nursing back was the emotional trauma I had suffer because it was agonizing more than the flesh wounds. Only I knew. Technically it doesn't matter anymore.

That would be for the better.

Maybe this is really the time to give myself more importance than the man I have wasted my fragile trust with.

Nevertheless, if I would be given another option to fall in love with Martin, I knew I would still choose him. That's how stubborn my heart is.