Mixed feelings

I didn’t lie when I said that me and Stella are just friend but that word has been ringing in my head and it felt wrong, I even started to feel more out of place when Kevin handed his personal card to Stella, the only reason why I didn’t punch Kevin for that bold move was because I knew Stella will never use the card for anything other than the business.

“What’s wrong? You have been quiet since we entered your car.” Stella glanced at me.

“Nothing.” I replied as my mind races for an excuse, Stella is like a dog with a bone, she won’t let go until she is satisfied with the answer which was given.

“You need to learn how to lie better my dear.” Stella repeated the words I said to her barely an hour ago.

Her words surprised a laugh out of me. “Throwing my words back in my face, are you?”

“Hey, if the shoe fits…” she shrugged.

“Any idea which location we should have dinner in? Want to try any place?” I deviated from the subject as Stella laughed.

“You are just as bad as me.” she shook her head. “Well, I always wanted to try out Meals & Culture.”

I froze at that, that restaurant is a part of Tomi’s father chain of restaurants in Lagos, there is a high chance of us meeting Tomi there but then again, there is nothing to hide from either girl so there shouldn’t be a reason why they cannot see each other. This is Lagos and sooner or later. They will bump into each other, it is better they do it and get a good first impression of each other while I am there to supervise. “It’s okay if you don’t want us to go there.” Stella voice made me realize that I have been silent for too long.

“Sorry, of course we can go there. Don’t mind me.” I responded to her…. Why did I feel the urge to kiss her hair? I wanted her as a girlfriend, that hasn’t changed but with the way I am feeling…something has definitely shifted in our relationship.

“Lost in thought, abi? I would have just done my IT at your firm that would have been less stressful.” Stella said.

“And less satisfying, you know the reasons why you needed to do it in a real company not an upcoming one.” I said absently as she laughs.

“Upcoming, who dash you? You that has already gained international recognition. Be calling yourself, upcoming there.” Stella rolled her eyes at me as I cracked a smile.

“Still it isn’t what you require, you need to learn how to manage large work force.”

“And you are too stingy to employ more people.”

I stopped my car in front of Meals & Culture as I looked at her with a sigh. “You are lucky I love you Stella, no other person talks to me the way you do.” I tell her as I got out from my car and went to open her door, she was still seating stunned. “Wetin, Person never tell you say he love you before?” I joked.

Her eyes flashed her anger at me as she came down and closed the door with force. “Stop joking with that word Kola.” Her tone was serious and firm.

I meant it. “Imagine! You just broke my heart with your words.”

“As if you know the meaning of that word.” Stella returns and we continued our banter as we moved towards a free table.

“Again Stella, you are so lucky I know that you don’t mean half of the things that comes out from your mouth oh.”

 Stella fixed a pitying expression on her face. “Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Besides someone needs to stop your head from swelling with ego.”

“Good evening ma’am, sir, what would you be having this evening?” a waiter came and presented a menu to Stella.

“I want Banga Rice and turkey. The three thousand naira plate.” I said to the waiter who nodded.

“Your favorite drink sir?” he asked.

“Please.”

“So you are a regular here?” Stella asked with raised eyebrows.

“Not really” I answered and when Stella put down the menu, placed her hand under her chin, I knew she wouldn’t budge on the issue. “Fine, it is Tomi favorite restaurant owned by her father, Happy?” I asked her as she smiled but the smiled looked strained.

“No, I’m not.” She replied me then turned her attention to the waiter to order. “I will have what he is having but give me an hollandia strawberry juice instead.”

When the waiter left I turned to ask her what was the matter but she snapped at me. “Don’t!”

“Don’t what?” I asked her surprised at her anger.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You have been trying to make me be your best friend but at the same time giving me the cold shoulder, and now you are acting normal but you still brought us to Tomi restaurant fully aware of what it seems like.”

“You are making no sense at all.” I said to Stella who shook her head.

“Okay, let me say this in lay man terms Kola. I am not replacing Tomi for you, stop hating me and changing your mind midway because you can’t decide want to do yet. I am sick of you blowing hot and cold.” Stella snapped at me as I reared back.

It seems as if my indecisions have been playing out and Stella had noticed. “I don’t want you to replace Tomi, she wasn’t mine, I want you to be mine.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. “ Stella said with her eyes flashing her anger at me.

“You know when a guy ask you out, you are not supposed to reply with a sentence, just yes or no should suffice.”

“Stop joking and be serious, I just told you not to replace Tomi with me and you did this instead.”

“Well yes! What am I supposed to do?”

“Not ask me out while we are in Tomi’s restaurant, not ask me out while I am upset with you.” Stella returns as I breathed deeply.

“I am seriously considering why I did now.” I tell her and she actually looked hurt by my words. “Stella.”

“Let’s just eat.” She replied tiredly.

“You will still come to my family event tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, I made you that promise before you started to act weird. This you I don’t like. That you I did and I might have said yes to him. Text me two hours before the time you are supposed to pick me up.” Stella responded.

There was nothing I could say to change her mind, if it was me, I would be confused too, I mean earlier today, less than three hours ago, I called her a friend and now I am asking her if she wants to be more. Even the mixed signals which I am sending out is confusing me. I want her. I want a unique relationship with her on one hand. On the other, I still want Tomi and that is affecting what me and Stella have going on. She knows I had feelings for Tomi…. My eyes widened when I realized that she thinks I still have feeling for Tomi hence the reason for my actions and everything.

“I’m over Tomi.” I blurted out as she raises her eyes to me. “When you are making a decision to my proposal, know that I want you fully, not Tomi and this isn’t because I can’t have her too.” I said as she nodded but didn’t say a word.

I felt relieved that she wouldn’t toss me out of her life now, I have succeeded in reassuring Stella, even though it was with lies.

Sometimes we all need to lie to save what we have.