One

v e r n o n

Catherine Jung is a girl that resembled all the beautiful words on a perfectly woven poetry. 

Raven hair cascades down her dainty collarbones like evening on a winter, a dark cloak atop snow-like porcelain skin, so bright and ever radiant that no blade would dare scratch it. Her eyes, they don't sparkle like the stars nor they resemble galaxy. It mirrored a dark hole, an endless pit of mystery and darkness, far from any heavenly body. I’m never a fan of heavenly bodies anyway. 

The same mystic pair of orbs rendered me breathless when they darted at me.

I can't help but wonder what secrets they contain, what beauty they adore and what they have ever seen in their lifetime. I wanted to stare at them for long, discover their deepest pits, get lost to their mysteries. 

"Do you like Catherine?" Mingyu’s taunting question broke me off my trance.

I was quick to shake my head no, almost defensively. So much for trying to act innocent.

"Really..." Mingyu’s lips curved for a snide smirk, both unbelieving and teasing.

"Because you're looking at her like she just gave you a boner." 

I glared at Mingyu before I could smack his head.

It's our last year in senior high. To survive alone in this hell hole requires talent. What more to be remarkable? Catherine has effortlessly did both because except being beautiful, she's incredibly smart, talented and she's the daughter of the school's principal.

I've come across her quite a couple of times but she's always been too distant. So near yet so far has never been applicable to anyone but her. 

I don't blame her anyway. My lack of interest never rendered me any closer to her. 

I mean it when I say I don't like her. I find her mysterious, that's all. Perhaps, I’m just intrigued, trying to decipher a perfect art that seemed almost complicated. But my interest is of no use. I have no time to spare for an art already adored by many. She's a masterpiece worth a thousand stares and no price matches her.

I’ve been content seeing her walk the hallways often. She never fails to have me staring and gaping in awe, like a thirteen year old boy who witnessed beauty for the first time. I am no innocent for I’ve met, seen, even tasted girls of the kind but she was different.

"I don't like her." I uttered mostly to convince myself.

"You know you should man up if you like her. Not stare at her and wait for the universe to drive you towards each other." Mingyu continued with his unnecessary vices.

I had no plans of intruding, no plans of getting involved at all. Until Mingyu's words happened like a curse. The universe conspired. 

Catherine was on the same class as me and she sat beside me on Chemistry.

For the first time, I knew how it felt to have perfection sit close to you. My heart thumped hard like it was getting chased out of my chest. It took long seconds to calm my sudden insanity.

I dared to give one soft glance. Her dark wavy hair glistened like ocean waves under the night sky as her eyes were fixed in front. 

The teacher started to discuss and I could hardly lend her my ears for they hear nothing but deafening heartbeat against my chest.

"Mister Choi.” 

I was too preoccupied that hearing my name called by the teacher startled me. A bit perplexed, little nervous, I stood up. 

"Can you state Avogadro's Law once again?" 

I swear I was doomed for I don't comprehend a single word in that question. Who the hell is Avogadro? What the hell is his law? Why is there even a law under someone who's named Avogadro?

Everyone stared at me for long couple of seconds, awaiting for me to come up with the least possible answer. There was nothing but embarrassing silence until someone raised a hand. Catherine.

The teacher gestured her to answer and it's my turn to sit back down. Screaming with class and confidence that her brilliance bestowed upon her, she stated the answer I couldn't even guess. She sat back down, leaving the class impressed. 

She was undeniably smart and I felt even more dumb when we were asked to do an experiment. We were partners since we’re seatmates but she proceeded to perform independently, ignoring my presence and refusing to ask the littlest of help I could offer. I watched her for it's the least I could do when I’m completely being ignored. 

With pure amusement in my eyes, I observed how she moves so serene, how strands of hair falls on her face, and how every move she made were made so precisely, afraid to commit a single mistake.

I was fine until her eyes flickered upwards and it caught me in a daze. My pulse elevated to a dangerous level.

"Are you just going to watch me?" 

She has a voice soft like an angel yet taunting with sarcasm. It nearly sparked with charm but overpowered with mockery. Startled, words hardly escaped my throat for a response.

"Well, it seems like you don’t need my help." 

"If I do, could you offer any?"

Sheepish grin effortlessly painted my face, pretending to be not taken aback with her sardonic remarks. 

"I’ll help you in best of my capacity if you let me to." I winked. It gets girls every time but Catherine's remained stoic. For the first time, the signature wink lost its charm. I was embarrassed but hid it.

I leaned closer to the glass she was holding, giving her my full attention rather than the experiment we were doing. She ignored me nonetheless, diverting her attention to the lab materials before her.

She rolled her sleeves up, in attempt to keep them dry while working with water from one container to another. On that very moment, visible lines that were probably carved by something sharp appeared on her wrists. Red and swollen, indicating how deep each cut was made. 

They appeared as if blood stains amidst snow, scratches ruining an intricate canvas. My mouth went briefly ajar, slightly disbelieving the sight. 

"What's that?" I managed to ask. 

Her blank face turned alarmed upon realizing what I was referring to. Panicking, she quickly rolled her sleeves down to her wrists again. Her eyes avoided mine so eagerly and lips kept shut in a straight line. I had no plans of being ignored once again so I said something that pulled her trigger.

"I never thought a perfect girl like you has a tendency to do self-harm." 

It was her turn to look at me, shooting daggers straight to my soul. It was only after I said the remark that it dawned into me how insensitive I sounded. But there’s no turning it back, Catherine is already firing me bullets with her eyes. 

"What you see before your eyes is not always the truth, Choi. Sometimes they blind you from reality." 

I was lost in trance. 

She was probably right. She was more than just a beauty but an enigma. Perhaps, she’s a painting with lapses and errors before it was covered up in colors to appear perfect.