All Chapters of Finding Myself: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30

Leo woke up in a large, white bed, which was decorated with gold. Above her was a canopy, also white . She looked around in amazement, the whole room was white . At first she didn't know where she was, but then slowly her memory began again. There was the burning pain on her left shoulder that the rain was cooling. And a disgusting smelly rag had been pressed onto her face , after which everything was black around her. The next thing she remembered was that large, dome-shaped room where she lay tied to a cold stone table or whatever . Then there was this old woman who, with an incomprehensible murmur, poured some liquid into her that made her body glow inside and relaxed her completely. The old woman then had signs painted on her legs and stomach. And then this tall, wild-looking person had appeared who had ranted something about ' My Bride' and 'The Mother of My Son' . The old woman had taken the cloths from her body and said to the man: 'Take it, it is ready.' What ready for, Leo

“Our healers examined Leo's blood and some of her hair. They found that she had a large amount of testosterone in her body, an unusually large amount. From this it can be concluded that it was artificially supplied to her , which the analysis of her hair confirmed. Our healers assume that Leo's father has injected her with this hormone every day since they returned to Germany and increased the amount when she hit puberty. ""Does that mean he has suppressed her femininity?" Asked Vanya."That's exactly what it says." Lumina replied. “Now we're starting to add female hormones to your body. However, the healers are concerned that Leo's internal genital organs have suffered as a result. But that shouldn't be your concern. I just wanted to let you know that we want to keep Leo with us for a while until her body functions as a female body should. ""How long will it take?" Asked Vanya.“You can't say exactly. It depends on how quickly your bo

Lumina covered Leo again and turned to the healer."And?" She asked curtly."Your internal sex organs are perfectly fine, as are your external organs ," he reported. “But we should use the hormone treatment over a longer period of time. And we should start with the maximum dose , at least until her breasts grow and she has her first period. Then your blood would have to be examined again and also your internal organs. ""So be it." Lumina nodded. “We should give her pills if possible. Look at her arms and you will understand why. "Leo had listened but understood nothing. Only that she should take medication again."Pills and injections again?" She asked desperately."Yes, unfortunately, little one." Lumina comforted her. “But it won't be long before you can stop again. And we will do without syringes entirely. ""But remember, Your Highness, it will take longer with pills, " the healer pointed out. "And the syringe

Darkness, my love." Lumina greeted her guest. “It's nice to see you again after such a long time . You haven't visited us too often. ""Lumina, how are you?" Replied the addressee. "Ah, as I can see, my two favorite vampires are here too."They hugged one by one."Madame." Draco greeted curtly."Madame LeNoire, I am glad to see you again," said Vanya and kissed her hand."And that is it?" Madame LeNoire looked at Leo carefully . "A little thin and quite small.""Oh, Darkness." Lumina sighed."Well, in contrast to the woman who was his mother," said Darkness.“After all, the woman who was destined for the lion god was raised by us,” Lumina replied. “We have prepared them for their destiny right from the start. And when the time came, she voluntarily conceived his son. That she died in his birth could not be foreseen. ""Died? She was murdered ”shouted Darkness angrily. “Murdered by that

In the meantime it was quite dark and Leo closed his eyes. She fell into a restless sleep. In the middle of the night she woke up thinking she heard voices, but there was no one to be seen. Believing it was just a dream, she closed her eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. And she fell back into her dream ..."So that's it," said a dark male voice.“Yes, that's si.e” confirmed a female voice."She's so small, so narrow, so petite," the man muttered . "What were you thinking?""I don't know," replied the woman. "When I think of the woman who gave you your son.""Yes, my chosen one," the man sighed sadly. “I still don't understand why she died in childbirth. Actually, she should have survived. ""Unfortunately I can't tell you either." The woman regretted . “She left us shortly before the birth in the fog and night . We can only assume that Daleira was behind it, that it was her plan back then to create an evil god

 Draco had trudged angrily to his house that evening after leaving Leo's room as unnoticed as he had entered it . There he poured himself a large glass of blood and went to his room. Contrary to his usual habits, he had locked his door. He let himself fall on his bed and sipped his glass. He would much rather have held a living, warm being in his arms and drank his blood .There was a knock on the door. "Draco, are you there?" Asked Vanya, but Draco didn't answer. He did n't want to see his brother today . There was another knock. "I know that you are there ," said Vanya. "Open up."After Draco still didn't move, Vanya said, "All right. I don't know what I did to you, why you don't want to see me, but it's okay. I wish you a good night. "'Good night,' Draco thought ironically. 'You will definitely have, now that you no longer have to hide your love for Leo .'Draco wanted to wait for everyone to sleep and then sneak off , but then he thought

When Leo was alone again, she thought of her parents. Not that she would miss them very much, they had always remained too foreign to her for that. At home there was no tender touch or kiss, even if it had only been breathed on the forehead . She had never felt anything in her parents' feelings, so that she could not develop any herself . In retrospect, her home seemed cold and heartless to her. In contrast to here. Lumina was so very different, she openly showed her joy as well as her sadness or anger. Vanya was also very different to her here, he kept touching her cheek or stroking her arm. Only Draco was the same as always, cold and dismissive. He had never touched her body before.There was a knock on the door inside her thoughts. Glad for a change, Leo called in the visitor. It was Vanya who entered the room with a happy smile."Hey, little one," he greeted happily. "You also have no other hobbies than lying in bed all the time.""Ha, ha." Leo made and made

Leo had fallen asleep in Draco's arms, her head resting on his chest. Draco had fallen into a light sleep too. In the middle of the night he woke up to a rustling noise. When he opened his eyes, at first he thought he was dreaming, because in front of the bed was a woman dressed all in white. On her back she had two large, mother-of-pearl-colored wings that shimmered in all the colors of the rainbow. Her eyes rested lovingly on Leo."Who are you and what do you want?" Draco asked quietly so as not to wake Leo."My name is Candle and I'm here to check on my child, " the woman replied gently."Leo is your daughter?" Asked Draco.“Yes, it is.” The woman nodded.Draco looked her up and down. "The way you sinned against your daughter, you didn't deserve wings ," he said harshly. "And it is too late for a guilty conscience, you would have preferred to let it speak earlier.""I know I got a lot wrong," she admitted."A lot? Everything. ”

To decide that, Leo would have to know. And I don't have the impression. ”Draco replied."She doesn't know either," Candle confirmed . “But Lieu, our last god, was here with Lumina and talked to her about it. Lumina has been assigned to tell Leo and ask for her decision. Even if Lumina would then lose the position of sole guardian . "'Leo as guardian of the crystal of light' thought Draco."I hope she refuses," he said spontaneously. "As you have already noticed, I love Leo and I don't just want it platonic."Candle looked at Draco questioningly, at first she didn't understand what he meant, but then it dawned on her."Oh, now I know what you mean." She laughed softly. Her laugh sounded like the trickling of a stream. “If she becomes a guardian, that doesn't mean she can't have sex . She will then live like a real woman, only she will not age anymore, not even up on earth. ""But until a real woman will be, it will take." Draco said. "And that's

So that would mean for Leo that she would have to stay here forever and stay forever young if I understood all of this correctly," Draco summed up."It is really not so. Of course she could also live up there, that's entirely up to her. But that is true about getting older. As soon as she takes over her position, the aging process is over. "Lumina agreed."But you and Darkness are, um, let's say, in your prime," said Draco."Right." Lumina nodded. “But that's because we initially refused to take on this position. And I spent twenty-one years up there after giving birth to you. Only after I died was I ready to stay here as a guardian. ""Wow, that's all too complicated for me." Groaned Vanya, who had just sat there in silence the whole time. “I 'd rather go to Zerafina. But first I'll have a look at Leo . ""Don't tell her about our conversation," Lumina asked ."Definitely not that I'll leave everything to you," replied Vanya and left."So w