第三章

Heads Up;

There is going to be a lot of Nigerian slang and a Nigerian language in the dialogues as this is a Nigerian book.

But not to worry, the translations are immediately giving in brackets beneath or beside  them and indications of which Nigerian language is being spoken in the part where there are languages are made.

I feel it would be fun if non Nigerians could get a chance to look into the live styles of modern Yoruba people💯🙌.

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it 💯

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"Derick!  Give me my money!!... Are you mad?!. This is not what we agreed!. What is this??!. And you are telling me that you would pay nothing more!!!.  How dare you!! " Her hoarse voice slices through the air.

"Woman.... Let go off my clothes if you like yourself.Take the money I gave you before I change my mind and collect the money back" He fires back at the flaring woman.

There is a knock on the door and a voice calls out from the other side.

"Derick!!!  Kilo fa gbogbo ariwo yi? "{Yoruba}  (What is the cause of all this noise?)

"Tobi... Come inside"Derrick instructs and a male figure walks in.

" Tell this woman to let me go before I do what I should not do! " Derick tells Tobi.

"You better pay me before I also do what I should not!"  the woman barks.

"Tobi, look at this woman. Her service is not even up to standard and she is here claiming what I do not know! " Derick yells.

"Derick, calm down, and madam... At least put on your under wear before you start fighting ." Tobi says....

Derick and Tobi patiently wait as they watch the woman put on her clothes and Tobi is busy feeding his eyes with the woman's nudes.

Three other men are seated outside the room, discussing the possible cause of the argument going on inside. Looking at them and how intensely they are conversing, one would think they are planning to sell the country. 

They all seem to be of the same age group and are mature men due for marriage.

Dayo is on shining... Skido.... {Skin cut} and is very well built. With huge muscles, broad chest and all.

Ayo on a low cut and is very slim and slender.... He does not look as well built as Dayo.. But he is still okay... Just without the  muscles and the rest.

Ike is as fat as three bags of rice joined together and he is on punk.... He is just as tall as he is fat.

As they are duscussing, the lady that had been in the room with Derick and Tobi, finally barges out of the room. Practically running. 

Her makeup is completely out of  place and nothing is where it should be, one can even say she had mascara on her lips, her dress is rummpled and is not well sitted on her body which causes her thighs and buttocks  to be half way revealed to the men sitting outside the room.

Her hair is a total mess, she looks like a mad woman and even worse is the fact that she is not wearing shoes.

She keeps turning back as she rains curses on Derick and Tobi till she is out of sight..

Derick and Tobi eventually walk out of the room, laughing and giving each other fist bumps as if they had just finished watching a record breaking comedy . And the three men outside are left wondering what happened with either raised brows, wide eyes or open mouth.

When Tobi an Derrick finally exit the room , Ike couldn't help but ask;

"Derick, na wetin happen for inside there? "

( Derrick, what happened in there?)

" Haba!,  Ike?,  you suppose trust Derick. na hin usual style Im use. "

( common!, Ike?, you're meant to trust Derrick. He used hIs usual technique) Tobi replies with an expression of false alarm.

"Asin ehn! I don jam this girl teeh teeh, and I don use am sote I tire... The thing done slack... nah community bore hole dey there.... and me, I no wan go fall inside the thing make i lost.  So I just reason am say... Make I nack am one last time before I free am"

(Seriously!, I meet this girl a long time ago. And I have used her so much so, I am tired of her. She is now so slack. She is no more fun. So I just thought; why not have her one last time before letting her go?) Derrick replies like he is giving a speech of appreciation to his fans.

" You con run am scam join! "

( You also decided to dupe her?!) Ayo asks in astonishment and partial admiration.

"Ayo?! ... Before nko??!. Ahhh. Na who born monkey?? "(Ayo?!... Why not??) Derrick replies throwing his arms in the air to gesticulate.

" Hm!  Our boss! " Dayo hails as he chuckles.

" Dayo,  na why I like you be that.. Your head dey always dey. "

( Dayo, that's why I like you, always on point.) Derrick praises Dayo. Equally chuckling.

"Buh why the girl come pick race like that? "

( But why did the girl runaway like that?) Ike who is still mesmerized by the earlier sight of the woman ventures to ask.

"Nah our secret weapon we use"

(We used our secret weapon) Tobi replies half laughing.

" Ahh. Ejoor.. Make we see am" (wow. Please.. Let us see it) Ayo demands. Excitement clear in his voice. 

Tobi brings out a stick like object that is wrapped in red cloth and white traditional beads from his pocket. At the sight of this.... Ike screams in fear and takes hold of Dayo. While Ayo is forced to his feet by fear.

Their reactions cause Tobi, Derick and Dayo to burst into laughter.

" Tobi!, wetin be this??! "

(Tobi!, what is this?!!) Ike asks.  his voice dripping fear.

"Baba calm down.. No go give your self heart attack... No be anything"

( Bro, calm down. Don't give yourself a heart attack. Its nothing) DerrIck assures his  friend who looks like he is about  pee his pants.

" Then what is it??! " Ayo asks. His hands, legs and voice trembling.

" why una dey fear like woman like this??!!.. Abeg Dayo... Explain to them.. "

(Why are you guys acting like scared women??!!  Dayo, please explain  to them) Tobi Replies In mockery and a mix of distaste.

"see, it's nothing... Its just remote wrapped in something my daughter used to act drama in her school last week.... See" Dayo replies as he takes the object from Tobi and indeed it is a DSTV remote that is inside it.

At the sight of this.... All five men burst into laughter.

" you see?,  na wetin we show that olosho be this ooo.... Una no See as she pick race? ... She kuku forget her wig and shoe inside"

(see?, This is what we showed that prostitute and you saw how she ran. She even forgot her wig and shoes.) Derrick replies as he struggles to stifle his laughter.

This statement makes the men to burst into another round of laughter.

" chai!  see as you do that girl like that,  Omo you wicked oh. As in see as she package come and see as she wowo go. "

(Wow!  Look at what you did to the girl, Damn!  You are wicked. I mean she came here all dressed up and left looking like trash.) Ike replies in pure admiration.

" my brother na so oo. Me I get the power of ten men.... Even if pregnant woman find me come... She go carry another belle on top the one wey she already get. "

(Yeah bro. I am as strong as ten men. Even if I mount a pregnant woman, I would give her double pregnancy) Derrick replies praising himself.

"Hm!  Shon sir!!!. Twale baba"

(Hm!  Shon sir!!!.  I salute you) Dayo who had been silent the whole time, salutes Derrick.

And they all begin to laugh again.

" oya what is the next thing? " Tobi changes the topic.

" nah club nah! "

(The club of course) Derrick replies.

"Ahhh. No be you wey just nack one girl finish nah?... You wan go club again?! "

( what?! Didn't you just have a woman?. You want to go to a club also?)  Ayo asks in alarm and honest shock.

"why you too dey dull yourself??... Body no be fire wood and Derrick no dey tire so.... Forget that one. "

(stop over reacting. The body has needs and Derrick is never tired so forget that.) Derrick replies to dismiss Ayo's statement.

  "Hm.... Their Zaddy!!!.  Oya lets bounce".

(Hm... Their sugar daddy!!!. Okay, let's move) Dayo hails Derrick again. This time with a smirk on his face.

This gang of players slash womanizer then begin to make their way to the stairs. It's no surprise that they can catch a woman in their web, as they all have the looks and the one without the looks has got the cash.

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Derrick is a man of twenty-five years,  his father is 56 years old. He has a younger sister of age 20, But he has no mother as he lost her at the age of 14 to a fatal plane crash.

  Derrick  and his friends ( Tobi, Ike,  Dayo and Ayo) are all of the same age group but Dayo is older than all of them. They go a long way back as they met in the university. They all except from Dayo, have no reason to womanise.

Dayo has been a broken man since he lost his wife. And womanising is a horrid habit he took up after her death. But his friends Ike, Ayo and Derrick just do it for fun.

They are all rich, working and good looking (except Ike), He is a good-looking man but fat defeats fact in his case.

They are all good to do men but they have a similar problem which actually playsba huge role in their friendship.

They all have no control whatsoever over their lust for women. Derrick is the worst of all and his personal assistant is Dayo.

Derrick is lose with women but never wants a boy around his younger sister.

Dayo, is a successful Managing Director in a big oil company. He has two beautiful daughters and has lost his wife to death. She died from cancer of the blood (leukaemia) a few years back. His daughters do not live with him but rather with their aunty who is on the other end of town.

His parents have brought several women to him for marriage but he is just not ready to replace his darling Jumoke (his late wife) .

He is a Sunday medicine Christian who manages to mumble a few words of prayer any morning he remembers to pray.

He is very mature and responsible but he is the complete opposite when a woman is involved.

Dayo is an asthmatic patient who is still learning to control his condition but has never really had a serious attack.

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Ayo is a middle-class banker.  He is neither married nor does he have children. His parents are in Lagos while he is in Abuja trying to make a name for himself and his family.

He has no health issue unlike Dayo but he is the most childish character amongst all five of them.

He lives in a self contain with one room,  parlor, kitchen and restroom.

Although it is a small space, he manages to make the best that he can out of it.

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