How do I explain?

I hurriedly wrapped myself in a thick towel and hid the rest of my bottle between the shampoos. If I went downstairs in the towel, they'd be gone quickly. Then at least I had enough time to prepare in case they came back.

"I'm coming!" I called down and checked my appearance again. Okay. My dark brown hair was wet down my back, my make-up was blurry from bathing, which made my dark eyes look even more piercing. I didn't really care if the cops saw me like that, but they would certainly be frightened if I pretended to be embarrassed when they saw me like this.

Yawning, I opened the door and stared surprised into Njal's bright eyes. "What are you looking for here?" My words probably came out a little colder than planned, but nothing could be done about that.

"I wanted to check on you," he replied honestly as the wind tore at his clothes.

"Come in. It's cold outside. ”I grumbled and let him in.

"You look ... refreshed." He said after a short minute of silence, during which he peeled off his layers of clothing.

"Because I just got out of the bathtub." As if that wasn't obvious.

"Sorry, I know, actually I should go back now and let you rest, but ... I'll do ..."

"Yes, yes. You're worried, I already understand that. ”I interrupted him briskly. “Sit in the kitchen and warm up first. I'm going to get dressed. ”In my mind I checked whether there really was no blood bag in the refrigerator, but I always paid close attention to something like that. I quickly ran up again, emptied the blood bottle in quick gulps and hid it far back in my closet, while I put on comfortable clothes, consisting of a knee-length sweater, short pants and thick woolen socks that came down to my knees cute bunnies on it. A little childish, probably, but found it comfortable.

Back in the kitchen, I first went to the cupboard where the glasses were and let some water in. I put the filled glass in front of Njal's nose and then sat down next to him with my legs drawn up. "Aren't you tired?" He asked after sipping from the glass.

"No." I answered truthfully. "You?"

"Something." He admitted. "But I wanted to make sure that nothing was frozen off and that you really went home."

I would probably still look for the woman now if my thirst for blood had not started due to the cold. "If I say I'll go home, I'll do it too." I assured him.

“Isles ... I don't mean you any harm. Why do you keep pushing me away? ”His expression became worried again and he leaned forward as if he wanted to be close to me. Something I couldn't stand

“Because you annoy me and mother me. I'm nineteen years old! "And a vampire" I can take care of myself now. "

" I know that, but ... you are actually always like that. I ask you something private, you block, I ask you why you sold yourself to these men back then, you lie to me and when I try to show you as a friend that you can trust me, you hiss at me as I would try to steal prey from a cat. ”

Hissing was probably a good comparison. "Listen." I started and leaned forward on the table as well. “Njal, I am grateful to you for giving me the job, but I am really very good at taking care of myself. Be it a drunk ass or a naked, confused woman. I like to work in the bar and I prefer to study in the hospital. I don't care what you think of me, but I work to survive and keep this house. I'm still paying off my car and at the same time I'm trying to keep learning so that one day I will be a doctor. ”Actually, I should add that on the side I tap one of his guests every night to stay alive and sane. but who would believe me?

“I know that you are a hardworking and independent woman. That's why I like you so much. Okay ... to be honest, it's more than just liking. ”Njal suddenly admitted and blushed a bit. “But I know that you don't trust me as much as that we can try to be more. But I would really like that. ”Njal held out his hands to mine, which I hid under my sweater and looked at me begging.

Great. So I got it right, he fell in love with me. A problem that I couldn't use at the moment. If he would even begin to smell my secret, the worst would be for me. Or rather him. I would be a constant threat to him and every touch would be a fight against the pull of his pulse.

No, I would never let it get that far with a mortal being. “Njal, neither today, nor tomorrow, or in a year, I will be ready to get involved with someone. Yes, I like you, but as a friend. No, I don't trust you because you can't trust me. Nobody can trust me. Even my parents couldn't do it, and I couldn't even shed a tear at the funeral service. I'm a heartless bitch that would just rob your nerves and end up leaving you freezing or doing worse. It is better if I stay to myself and have at most 'acquaintances'. ”I explained with my head held high, watching closely how with every word the corners of his mouth pulled down, while disbelief was reflected in his eyes.

How should I explain why I am not sleeping?

How should I explain why I don't eat?

How should I explain why I lock the basement?

How should I explain why I cannot allow closeness?

These and a hundred more questions, like lies, would have to be invented to have any "kind" of relationship. In addition, I would have to act out strong feelings that I just don't have.

"I thought so." Njal's voice was so low that I almost wanted to ask him what he had said, but when I met his gaze again something had changed. “Is that why you work in the hospital?”

I raised my eyebrows. What did one have to do with the other? “I don't understand what one thing has to do with the other.”

“I mean because of the blood. Is that why you work there? ”Blood? Did he know something? Did he see me? Was he spying? No! Calm! I guess I was interpreting too much into it.

“You mean because I'm a light hypochondriac? No, I always wear gloves and disinfect my hands regularly. I have no problem with it. ”

Annoyed, he sighed. “You know exactly what I'm talking about. At first I thought that I was just imagining it, because none of your kind would be that stupid to live here and I have to admit, you hid yourself very well. Not a single one noticed you, let alone suspected you. So tell me why do you live here? Are you spying on my pack? ”

With raised eyebrows, I tried to understand what he was saying, but I admittedly didn't understand a word of it. "Who should I spy on?" I asked.

“Don't be stupid. Who sent you Prince Michellé? His mother? ”

I didn't know either of them. “How should I know any princes? Just because I'm from England? ”Slowly it became too stupid for me and I leaned back insulted. “No matter what you think who I am, you're nuts. Just because I'm from England doesn't mean I belong to the nobility. ”I defended myself and felt offended. Among other things, something bothered me about his words.

"What? No, I'm not talking about nationalities, but about vampire princes and kings. ”

Princes? Kings? It got better and better. "Thanks, but I can fool myself too." I hissed angrily. What did he think of me anyway? That i'm crazy Or is Njal the crazy one?

“Isles! I know about. I know you are a vampire, I smelled it as soon as I had a foot through the door. It smells like blood here and I can smell it in your breath as well. ”

I touched my mouth in surprise, as if I could still hide something. He smelled it? Even I didn't smell blood here. "You know about vampires?" I asked nervously. And wait a minute ... didn't he say anything about princes and princes? “And there are princes? How many? ”

Njal seemed to be about to say something when he apparently realized that I had no idea. "You ... really don't know? Who is your mother or your father? So ... your vampire father or mother, I mean. ”

Just thinking about this bastard made me lose my appetite. "Tell me, when you've figured it out, then I can finally piss him off like he did two years ago!" Now I didn't hide my hiss at all anymore, like my fangs. Njal didn't seem nervous at all.

“So you are a forsaken? That sucks. But two years? Are you sure you are just so young? You hide like a seven year old or older. I never would have expected that. ”

Yes, and I couldn't exactly credit my creator with all of this. “He attacked me just before Christmas.” I began, for the first time, the story that I hadn't been able to tell anyone before. "I came home from a party and tried to clear my head with icy water in the back of the garden, at the water trough."

I got up and went to the back door that led into the garden. “You mean this water pot?”