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2020-08-20 20:39:38

Mel

I walked towards the elevator and waited patiently, I bobbed my foot as people looked at my messy hair and backpack. Seb finally decided to meet after ignoring for six whole weeks.

I had my mid exams all two weeks making me busy for a while before all the memories with Seb hit me all of sudden like a broken tape.

I had my classes and I look like a joker after my college hours, I got out when I reached the floor. I walked towards the 306 room and waited for Seb to open the door.

I removed my shades as I walked further into the condo and sat down. Seb walked in with a tired face, he took a seat on the single sofa.

"Hi." I raised my brow as he made a face before standing up. He went somewhere and walked back with a water bottle. I took the bottle and didn't care to use the glass. Usually, he would scold me for not using the glass as per now he stayed silent. Good...

"Mel, I like you but I'm not ready for a commitment. I know you love me which scares me and I don't know how to explain this."

"You are not ready fr the commitment? then what was that in between us all thee days?" I asked keeping my voice at bay. I don't want to start an argument with him right now, I need answers...

"I told you from the beginning that I don't want to raise your hopes nor I can give you any word about our future." He spoke looking at my backpack.

"Seb, you know that I love you but you never told me I love you back and I never questioned you about it because I know you don't wanna give me hopes. I understand... But seb we have been together for the past two years, don't you think I need to know the truth?" His eyes harden as I hit the point straight.

"What truth you want to know?" His cold eyes stared back at me. I internally rolled my eyes.

"You cannot promise me a future with you because you aren't ready for commitment. That's fine, but why did you hide about your friends... Best friend?! We are fucking dating Seb! The least you can do is tell about your friends."

"Mel!"

"I can't promise you a future, Mel. It is meaningless you knowing about my past when I'm not sure if I can love you." My eyes widen and I exhaled heavily as he didn't make any eye contact.

"Wait a minute... What are you trying to say Seb?"

"I need a break." No words came out of my mouth as I sat there like a rock looking at him. He isn't the one whom I met two years ago. Seb doesn't like to sit away from me but now he sat on the corner sofa away from me. He always spoke to me without breaking the eye contact but now he can't even make eye contact.

"Seb, please don't mess with me. I love you and I don't think I can handle those emotions if anything goes wrong in between us. I want to stay Seb with you and I will wait for you but please don't break my heart." Hot tears spilt out as I took my bag and shades.

"I don't know Mel, I like you and you are special in my life. I don't want to lose you." He spoke when I stood up from my chair.

"But you are not sure if you want to have a future with me or not." I said looking at him as he looked at away inhaling heavily. A humourless laugh left my mouth as I bite my lip.

"I will wait for your call." My voice was low but I know he heard me clearly. I didn't look back as I rushed out. I can't go home nor I'm in a state to meet anyone.

Jenny and Rosell aren't here, they are in New York. I threw my bag and coat in the passenger seat. I send two messages to my mum saying I will be home late. I searched for any concert in the city.

I can't stay somewhere alone knowing I will go insane thinking about Seb and the way he spoke. There is this underneath message but I don't wanna confirm things. I looked at my outfit, I'm wearing jeans and a cashmere sweater. I don't care though, dad isn't home he went to Tokyo for an international seminar.

I combed my hair with my fingers before I drove to the downtown where there this concert going on of a new boy band. The next two hours I spent dancing away ignoring everyone who gave me odd looks. I didn't drink because I need to drive back.

"What's going on darling?" Mum asked as she placed my breakfast.

"Nothing mom."

"Mel, you look so sick. I know you are going through issues but I and your dad can't see you like this. You know right we are here no matter what?"

I gave her a small smile "I know mom, Seb and I are having issues. I don't wanna talk about it."

"But sweetheart, your dad is worried, seeing you like this. It's been a week that you stopped humming your favourite songs or whistling a tune. We can't see you like this it hurts baby."

"I love you." I whispered before standing up to go to college.

The radio was on as I drove my car to the campus. I and Seb didn't speak a word nor we texted. He needs time and I'm not sure about when he is going to message me.

I have practical classes today and the day is going to be a long one. I stayed in the car for a few minutes watching people.

Mavies don't have morning classes and Lucy must be in the class. Mavies is doing her MBA program and I met her through mutual friends.

Taking my bag I stepped out of my car and walked to my class, I faked smiled at everyone who greeted me good morning.

"You okay?" Lucy asked as I sat down. I nodded my head waiting for the teacher to come. Sherlyn sat beside Nial but I didn't ask Lucy about it. The classes went on and on, I stayed focused as these classes are very important to me and I don't have to go through once again if I listen carefully.

It was lunch break when I got a call from Mavies asking me where I'm. I told her Im at the canteen. Lucy went to meet the junior guy she fucked before. I sat alone as I drank my strawberry milkshake.

"Mel!" I turned to Mavies who looked like she is going to kill someone. She threw a magazine on the table as she sat down.

"What's this."

"Number 18." I opened the page and surprised seeing Seb smiling at the camera while he had his arm around a lady. She looked like a porcelain doll compared to my tan complexion.

I read the article, I felt the pain in my throat as I let out the silent tears, there is this sharp pain and everything played like a broken movie in my head as I read the article.

"She is Savannah James, Seb's best friend and first love. They broke up because of some issues and now she is back. They are going to marry soon." I heard Mavies words as I looked at other pictures of the lady and Seb.

"I-I..." No words came out as I cried. I'm not a cry baby but now I hardly control my tears. Mavies stood up as she hugged me, I hugged her tight. I know people are watching us but I don't care.

"Mel, let's go out of here. Lucy will send you the remaining notes." I nodded my head as I stood up to go out.

There were calls from mum and Jenny. They must've seen the news and article. I gave my keys to Mavies as she drove to my family's farmhouse.

"Tell me about it." I said as I watched the traffic.

"Mel."

"Mavies, just tell."

"Mel, Seb gave an interview. The articles were out early morning. They both were childhood friends and best friends, they fell in love and lived together all their college years. Because of a few reasons and issues, they had to part ways. Now she returned awhile ago, Savannah told the host that they never forgot each other and she always loved him like he loved her. They decided to tie the knot as they can't stay away from each other."

I couldn't feel anything as everything felt wrong and I felt the burning pain in my throat and heart. It hurts, I never felt this pain, this is very new to me. It's like the tears are choking me making it hard to swallow the painful lump.

I didn't wait for Mavies nor I entered the huge farmhouse, I ran towards the other side where we have our horse stalls. The keeper saw me and didn't even care about the helmet as I walked towards my horse.

The black beauty looked at me, she let out a noise of happiness as she saw her master. She bends her face to lean her forehead against mine. She knows something is wrong. I caressed her forehead and face before getting on her.

I love horse riding, it's something which is connected with my family. My forefathers worked as ministers to the royal family so horse riding is very common in our family and horse riding is something which helps me whenever I feel low.

"Abir, fast..." I called my horse and she increased the pace. Abir is a man's name but I wanted to name my horse as Abir because it means noble and strong.

She is very strong and pitch-black which attracts everyone but she is mine and I don't like it if anyone sat on her except me. Abir doesn't all anyone to ride on her other than me. She knows she belongs to me and Im her favourite person like she is mine.

My shoulder-length hair danced as the air hit my face in force. It calms my soul whenever I'm with Abir. We went miles as I tried to forget everything for a while. My head hurts, tears are running down my cheeks continuously as the breeze hit my face and body.

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