Chapter Eleven

"I called the police patrolling around this city and the manager. And  you..." Eldred gave Eleuthera an ominous gape. " stay right here," he instructed.

Eleuthera moved her head up and down showing she understands.

"Eleuthera, kiilala kita," pagbabanta ni Eldred.

Alam ni Eldred na susuwayin siya ng nakakabatang kapatid kaya malalim siyang napabuntong-hininga siya bago nilisan ang lugar 

Eleuthera scanned her old brother's back up to the moment it faded away in her sight. 

She was not planning to string along with the Lieutenant Colonel's plan. She cannot wait any longer than a second. She stood up from seating, goes near in front of the girls' table. They stopped laughing out loud. Heavenzy looks at Eleuthera in an angry way, Kris brows contracted in displeased, Venus looked down, and the girl who sells drugs question her sudden arrival in a sharp way.

Her eyes went to the new girl. "Don't move, put your hands up in your head." she decreed gaining laughter from the girls. 

"Are you out of your mind?" Nanlilisik ang babae sa utos ni Eleuthera na ngayon ay hindi inaalis ang tingin sa babae.

"Stop destroying our moment, Eleuthera! Just leave us," pagsabat ni Kris.

"I am not destroying your moments, I am doing what should I do."

"Are you jealous, Augustine?" Heavenzy smile in a smug way.

Nanunuyang ngumisi rin si Eleuthera.

Nagtitigan ang dalawang dating magkaibigan, naglalaban ang mga nagaalab na mata at mga labing nakaporma. Minsan ay sinungaling din ang mata, kaya nitong linlangin ang mapapatingin. Sa likod ng matapang na mata ay nagkukubli ang nanghihina na damdamin.

Walang balak umatras si Eleuthera, sanay na siya sa ganitong paligsahan. Kaya niyang panatilihin ang blanko na mata ng sobrang tagal ngunit si Heavenzy ang kalahan niya, kaya niya nga pero sa oras na tumalikod siya, alam na niya ang kahihinatnan ng sarili.

"What's your reason then?" Venus broke the imaginary electricity between the two, she has no fight with them when they get furious. The earlier to prevent it to arise the better.

"If I told you, would you believe me?" Eleuthera questioned back, not wrecking her eyes contact with Heavenzy.

Who she is to believe in? She can imagine them saying–do you think we will believe what you say? You are more capable of doing drugs than our best friend, she is innocent and you...you looked a runaway criminal in that treacherous face.  Don't mind her, girl. She is envious in our squad, That girl is a green-eyed monster. She definitely doesn't have friends. I pity her.  Want to know why? She was easy to replace–so she would never say it.

Venus didn't get the chance to answer when a Police officer approached them together with Eldred.

"Hulihin n'yo ang babae na 'yan! Pilit nanggugulo!" nagsusumigaw na hinaing ng babae  na ikina-kunot ng noo ng dalawang bagong dating.

"Chief. I want you to discuss this girl together with the buyers with regard to the law they have taken for granted. Let them know what the law capable of," pagkausap ni Eldred sa chief of the police na siyang kusang pumunta sa resto-bar para sa report niya.

"We are not yet sure if they aware of the bidding, criminals don't plead guilty. I will give you permission to take them to the station and rightfully Interrogate these people."  Eleuthera pointed her ex-best friends using her eyes. "We will send with you the shreds of evidence, and witnesses– I and the Lieutenant Colonel was one of them... we are on vacation and undoubtedly we won't like to make bundles of paperwork so we are out," Eleuthera gagged making her Lieutenant Colonel's proud.

The police smiled showing his understanding, this is not a first time, it happened before, he has undertaken his responsibility without involving the on vacation soldiers. Everyone is doesn't want to write a dozen or plus hundred of reports–it is hard as a thesis.

"Umalis ka agad kanina, bunso," pagkausap ni Eldred kay Eleuthera. Iniwan agad siya nito matapos sabihin na 'wag na silang idamay sa kaso. Si Eldred tuloy ang umasikaso sa mga naiwan sa kaniya. Mas nagmumukhang si Eldred ang kapitan kaysa kay Eleuthera kanina, nagmukhang alalay na sumusunod sa habilin.

Agad ni Eldred na halata ang pananahimik  si Eleuthera. Ang pagaalala na nararamdaman niya para sa kapatid ay walang maitutulong, ang mabibigay niya ay tanging alalay at panalangin . 

Inabot ni Eldred ang balikat ni Eleuthera. "I am proud of you," taos-puso niyang turan. 

Pinalibot ni Eleuthera ang braso sa bewang ng kapatid,mahigpit na niyakap si Eldred na binalik naman ang parehas na yakap na puno ng pagunawa at pagmamahal. 

A simple gesture can lessen the misery. 

Nang kumulas ang dalawa sa yakap ay parehong may kislap na ang mga mata, pinipigilan lumuha nang harap-harapan, pilit nagpapakatatag nang maging lakas ng bawat isa. "Inaantok na ako kuya," mahinang usal  ni Eleuthera bago nagpaalam sa kapatid.

 Nanginginig niyang siinara  ang pinto ng kwarto, at sumandal siya doon. Sa kabila ay nakayukong umalis si Eldred, may sumisibol na pagkabigo sa loob niya pagkat kaunti ang  nagagawa  niyang tulong sa kapatid.

He's dying to comfort her 

Ilang minuto ang lumipas ay bumaba si Eleuthera sa underground kung saan wala sa kaniya makakarinig, doon niya napiling maglabas ng hinaing.

Sa pagdapo ng kamay niya sa unan na nasa sahig buong lakas niya itong inihampas sa pader. "Kinginang buhay 'to! Bakit ba ako 'yong nasasaktan? Bakit ako 'yong laging luhuan? Kailan ba mauubos 'to? Kailangan kong maging mas malakas! Ang sakit, ang sakit na sobra. Kasalanan ko naman, alam ko 'yon, lahat naman na gawin ko para sa kanila ay laging mali, may masamang naidudulot,  iniisip ko naman sila, sila naman ang dahilan sa lahat ng ginagawa ko pero bakit...nagkakasakitan kami?"

Tinapon niya ang bawat bagay na mahawakan niya, hiling niya na sana maisamang maitapon at mawasak ang poot sa puso niya.

"Nakakatawa naman, sa mga nobela sa oras na nagkakaganito ang karakter lalo na ang bida ay laging may nakaalalay sa kaniya. Sa akin, bakit lahat sila, wala na sa tabi ko? Bakit nagiisa ako dito sa underground? Mukha akong baliw," natawa si Eleuthera sa sarili habang dumadaloy ang mga luha sa pisnge. "Isa ako sa mga manunulat na gumawa ng ganoon na eksena, may yakap pa, sabay sabing everything will be alright, i'm here, you aren't alone pero ibang iba sa tunay na buhay. Ngayon, alam ko na, masyadong imposible ang mga bagay na matatamis kung posible man ay may limang porsyento na mangyayari sayo, ang natitirang siyamnapung-siyam ay imposible. " 

Nanghihina siya sumalampak sa sahig, mahigpit na hinawakan ang lapis na dinapuan ng kamay niya kanina. Doon siya kumukuha ng lakas, lakas na makakatulong sa sarili para makabangon ulit.

"Ayos na rin kahit na lumabas ang sipon ko ay walang matatawa o mandidiri." Pinunasan niya ang pisnge at ilong. "Napaka-independent ko naman. Sariling punas ng luha, sariling pagpatawa. Lmao, baka paggising ko ay nasa mental na ako."

 "Seryoso, masakit mawalan ng kaibigan." She hugged her knees like a fetus inside of tummy."How I miss them. It likes they are thousands of miles away from me."

"10 years from now, I want to see the three of you walking in the aisle, with bouquet holding tightly with your both hands, crying because you are excited and happy,  and saying the vow to your loved ones. " A laughter escapes from Eleuthera's after imagining the future.  Her friends' faces just darkened, except with one who's looking good at her smile. 

The two of them move their head from left to right. Later, one of them jokingly holds Eleuthera cheekbone. She sulked.  

"How about you?  What are you doing ten years from now? " She smirked and removes Heavenzy hand from holding her. 

"Getting busy with my work.  Y'all know it's hard to be a soldier. " Eleuthera received a hard pinched.  "Ouch,   what's that for?"  she rolled her eyes. 

"We will support you. And cheer you up if you get tired  firing and protecting the nation."

The memories of them make her sadder but it boosts up her confidence to not waste the sacrifices she already made. 

Nang maputol ang lapis ay humiga siya sa sahig, nasa kisame ang tingin. Nakakatulong talaga kay Eleuthera ang pagiging moody.  Tinaas niya ang kamay sa ere, sa tutok ng bumbilya. "Cheers to heartache! Cheers to the pain we have! Cheers to all tears we waisted! Cheers to all the people who promised us but broke it! Yeah, cheers! Cheers mga ka-bitter! Cheers sa mga baliw na kagaya ko na sariling sikap! Cheers!" Umasal siya na may tinunggang bote. "Cheers to me. Cheers up, self." Her voice cracked again,  this time because of a sore throat. 

Onetime, you get isolated in a dark room, you have no one to hold, and you are scared, clasped your both hands. When you are down, think of funny things and laugh. When you are crying, cry it all out, later wipes your own tears. When you are lying down on one's stomach, lift up yourself. You can be your own version of the hero, and knight to yourself like how Eleuthera Augustine encouraged herself to withstand the fight.