Shadows of Sandoval #1: Chasing the Wild

This is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, businesses, places, events or incidents, are fictitious. The resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Do not distribute, publish, transmit, reconstruct, display, or create imitative works from or exploit the contents of this story in any way.

This story contains mature themes and strong language that are not suitable for very young audiences.

Read at your own risk.

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Narinig kong tumunog ang cellphone ko na nakapatong sa kama. Itinigil ko ang pag-aayos ng aking buhok at ibinaba ang suklay bago tumayo.

The screen of my phone lit up. I pressed on the lock button before swiping on the screen.

Steel:
Rilynn, I'm already outside your house. Take your time, though.

Me:
Okay. I'll be down in a bit.

Binaba ko ang cellphone pagkatapos i-send iyon sa kanya. Bumalik ako sa harap ng salamin at tiningnan ang sarili.

I am wearing a white button-down polo tucked in a long light blue skirt that falls above my knees and partnered it with a blazer with the same color as the skirt. My white four inches stilettos made me look taller. I let my hair down and applied minimal make-up to complete the look. I also wore some fashion rings and hoop earrings to add more details. I sprayed my perfume on my wrist and neck before I grabbed my white shoulder bag and finally left my room.

I saw my Mom in the living room when I got down the stairs. She's drinking her favorite coffee.

"Mom, I'm going now," I kissed her cheek.

"Are you bringing your car?"

"No, Mom. Steel is waiting for me outside. We'll just go there together," I delayed. "Where's Dad?"

I looked around the house.

"He left already. Maglalaro raw sila ng golf ni Eric."

Tumango ako.

"He's still pursuing you, huh?"

Kumunot ang noo ko roon. Nginuso niya ang labas ng bahay. Huminga ako nang malalim.

"Mom, he's just a friend."

"Why don't you give him a chance, anak?" she paused. "He seems like a nice guy."

"He's nice but I don't see him as a boyfriend, Mom. I clearly told him that because I don't want to give him false hope."

"Okay. Do whatever makes you happy. I will always be here to support you," she smiled.

"Thank you, Mom!" I bid goodbye before I stepped outside the house.

Pagbukas ko ng gate namin, nakita ko si Steel na nakasandal sa kanyang itim na Range Rover. Umukit ang ngiti sa kanyang labi nang makita niya ako.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," ngumiti ako. "Let's go?"

Tumango siya bago ako pinagbuksan ng pinto at umikot sa driver's seat.

"Rilynn,"

"Hm?" I looked at him. He's not looking at me. His eyes are focused on the road.

"Will you be fine seeing him later?"

Umawang ang labi ko. Hindi ko inaasahan ang kanyang naging tanong.

"Of course! Matagal na naman iyon, Steel. It's all in the past now." I smiled. He nodded and continued driving.

The whole drive my mind was in deep thoughts about what will happen when I see him again after three years. I avoid going to my usual spots after that incident because I'm afraid that if I get to see him again, I will run to him and beg to take me back despite what he did.

I never tried to search about him on my social media accounts even if I missed him. He hurts me badly. It's been hard for me to forget about him. It took me years to be okay again.

I know I'm weak when it comes to him, that's why I'm thankful that he never tried to show himself to me during those times. I won't deny that I did hope that he'll show up and beg for me but he didn't. He never tried to send a text or call me. The last message I received from him was when he said he loves me.

I believe it's all happened for a reason. Our past happened because we're not meant for each other. I won't let it happen to me again. It made me build up a high wall to protect myself from another heartbreak.

The break-up changed me. I've learned a lot of things; People change because then you can learn to let go, things get rough so you can appreciate them when they are good, you embrace lies so you eventually grow to believe no one except yourself, and quite often good times shatter off so that wondrous thing would, therefore, fall together.

What happened serves as a lesson for me. I have accepted that we meet a person that we thought of spending the rest of our lives but will turn out that you are not each other's destination but just a stop on the line.

If something horrible happens, we just have to understand and accept that there's a purpose of why it has happened. Understanding is the first step towards acceptance, and healing can only happen with acceptance.

Mabilis kaming nakarating ni Steel sa kompanya ng Sandoval. Hindi naman kalayuan ito sa subdivision kung saan kami nakatira kaya naging madali lang ang biyahe at hindi rin kami inabot ng traffic.

Ipinakita namin ang ID sa guard bago kami nakapasok sa loob. Ngayon lang ako nakapasok dito kaya hindi pa ako kilala ng guard.

Humakbang kami papunta sa tapat ng elevator pagkatapos makipag usap sa receptionist. Puno na ang elevator ng madatnan namin kaya hinayaan na namin sila at hindi na nakisiksik pa. Naghintay na lang kami ng susunod na lift.

"Good morning, Mr. Sandoval!"

Nahugot ko ang aking hininga at umawang ang aking mga labi.

"He's here." bulong ni Steel sa tainga ko.

I know you don't have to tell me! Fuck.

"Good morning, Sir!"

Sunod-sunod na bati ng mga empleyadong makakasalubong siya. Diretso lamang ang kanyang lakad at nakatuon na ang mga mata sa akin na tila kanina pa siya nakatingin at wala siyang balak na alisin ang kanyang titig.

Walang halong biro ang makikita sa kanyang mukha kasalungat ng emosyon na pinapakita niya sa akin palagi noon.

Madilim ang kanyang ekspresyon at ang bawat paghakbang ay mabigat. Kung titingnan maiigi ay mukha siyang may kaaway o kaya naman ay hindi naging maganda ang kanyang gising.

Nakasuot siya ng itim na slacks at coat na tinernuhan ng puting dress shirt sa ilalim. Ang kanyang pantalon ay hapit sa kanyang mahabang binti na na tila ginawa talaga iyon para sa kanya.

He looks good in casual clothes but damn I can't deny that I like it more when he's dressed like this! I've never seen him wearing this kind of clothes. It puts me in awe when I see him like this. He looks like a fucking hot bachelor!

The bad boy looks are now gone. I can't see any trace from the Devon I knew in college. He's like a completely different person.

One thing I noticed that hasn't really changed is the way...he looks at me. Devon never fails to make my knees go weak.

Damn it! Get a grip of yourself, Avi! Don't let him see that he can still affect you!

Lumihis ang kanyang mata sa akin papunta sa aking katabi. I can feel the tension between us right now.

Kumalampag nang malakas ang aking puso nang huminto siya sa aking tabi at naghihintay sa pagbukas ng elevator. Nanunuot sa aking ilong ang kanyang pabango na kilalang-kilala ko. Pinigilan ko ang sarili na tingnan siya.

"Good morning, Mr. Sandoval." pormal na bati ni Steel.

Tumango lang si Devon dito bago nilipat ang tingin sa akin. Hindi man lang nagtagal ng ilang segundo ang mata niya kay Steel.

I faked a cough. You can do this, Avi! Let him see that you've moved on from him. Show him that you're not affected anymore!

"Good morning, Mr. Sandoval!"

Tumaas ang isang kilay niya.

"Good morning, Ms. Alcantara."

Inilahad niya ang kanyang kamay sa akin at ngumisi. What? He wants us to shake hands now?

Okay! I need to do this. We need to be professional. You're testing me, huh? Let's see, Devon.

Taas noo akong humarap sa kanya at ngumiti ng peke. I shook his hand.

"It's nice to see you again, Avi." he hoarsely said.

Well, it's not nice for me! If not because of my Dad I won't even accept this project. I don't care if this is a big project but he told me that Tito Eric was the one who chose our company.

I don't want him to think that I'm being unprofessional. He's been nothing but good to us so I accepted this project because of that and nothing else.

I won't let personal things meddle with my work. I am very professional when it comes to my job.

This whole thing is just for a short period of time so we won't see each other that much. In fact, I won't even see him every day because I will be on the site while he on the other side will probably be inside his office.

I felt him caressed my hand a bit. Binitawan ko rin agad ang kamay niya at umayos ng pagkakatayo. Hindi niya pa rin inaalis ang mata niya sa akin.

Nanghihina ang binti ko sa mga tingin na ipinupukol niya. Damn it!

He really knows this game!

Siya lang ang nakakagawa nito sa akin. Ganito ang epekto niya sa akin noon. Hindi ko matanggap na nararamdaman ko pa rin 'to sa kanya! Nakakapanghina pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin!

Huminga ako nang malalim nang sa wakas ay bumukas na ang pinto ng elevator. Mariin kong hinawakan ang braso ni Steel para gawing suporta bago humakbang papasok sa elevator.

Naunang pumasok si Devon at dumiretso siya sa likod kaya nang humarap siya ay nakita niya ang kamay kong nakakapit sa braso ni Steel.

Tumagal ang tingin ni Devon doon at kumunot ang kanyang noo. Binalik niya ang mga mata sa akin na may bahid ng inis sa mukha. Dumilim din ang kanyang mukha ngunit hindi nakatakas sa akin ang maliit na ngising ipinakita niya.

What now?

Pinindot ko ang floor kung saan gaganapin ang meeting at nag-aalinlangan na tumingin kay Devon. Masama pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin nang tingnan ko siya na nagpakabog ng dibdib ko.

"W-Which floor are you?" I stuttered.

I fucking stuttered. Really, Avianna?

Fuck! Why do I sound nervous?

"30th floor." he sternly said without breaking eye contact with me.

Lumunok ako bago iniwas ang tingin sa kanya at pinindot ang floor na kanyang sinabi. Umurong ako palapit sa tabi ni Steel at isiniksik ang sarili sa doon. I heard Devon hissed behind us.

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko kay Devon at tumitig na lang sa repleksyon namin sa harap. Ang mabibigat na tingin na ipinupukol sa akin ni Devon ay ramdam ko kahit na ako ay nakatalikod pa sa kanya. Damn it!