Eight

A lady must always address those superior to them with titles such as Lady, Sir, Madame, etc. Never fail to flatter them when necessary. 

✾

I was still staring out the window when Karina came marching in. I turn my head sideways and I see just how pale her face was, how her hands and whole body were visibly shaking, it seems like this is the first time she saw a dead body. I guess things were really different at the palace. My memory is vague but I can recall the first dead body I saw. Seeing those things at a very young age, I guess, helps you cope in times like this. Since unlike Karina, I managed to hide my fear. Though I cannot hide even from my own self the loud beating of my heart nor the ringing of my ears.

“Lady Amara, you mustn’t look outside. It’s not…proper.” Karina mumbled, settling on the term. She tried her best to smile at me but she and I both know it isn’t the time for fake pleasantries. “You should prepare for breakfast. Silas told us there would be a meeting after dinner, it seems like the charity work would come earlier than planned.”

My mind wanders back to what happened yesterday night. I’m assuming Alpha Irvine immediately continued on his journey to the Boreas after this incident. I look at the body again and I notice that the blood was no longer fresh, it was dried up. There were flies even, it’s a surprise I was able to sleep all through this.

Whatever it is Silas is planning, this was the sign he was waiting for.

Karina was still standing by the doorway when I nodded. She bit the inside of her cheek and her eyes scanned me. Probably looking for something, something like fear. “I’m not one for gossips but, are you not shocked, Lady Amara?”

“No.” I tell her flatly. I make my way towards my bathroom.

“Why?”

I stop by the bathroom’s door and hold on to it. I sigh and turn my head sideways to where she was standing. She was still pale, although not shaking as much as she was a few moments ago. “Sometimes you see death so much that you’re used to it.”

Karina’s face was full of confusion but I didn’t elaborate further. Things really are different in the palace. With the guards who cannot identify who were wolves from Sem, Niju, or Cinco, with the palace help who turn pale and freeze when they see dead bodies, and with the Alpha’s son who easily treats everyone else as pawns, not taking into consideration the consequences of his plans on our lives. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t know as much as I did.

Sometimes, I wish things were a little different.

Eleanor understood my thoughts and never questioned it. She knew I always had dilemmas that involved my worth and my usefulness in society. Times like this make me realize just how much I miss her and how we used to be.

Then I would remember what she did that night and my angers comes back in waves.

There is no more Eleanor and Amara. It is only just me, as it was from the beginning.

It was foolish of me to think any different.

✾

Breakfast was weird.

News must have reached everyone about the body by the maze since it was quiet and awkward. The sounds of clinking plates, cups, and silverware were the only sounds I could hear. Molly the quietest out of everyone. It seems like this event had brought upon bad memories. It’s not surprising, there are some things that trigger something in us every now and then. I just didn’t expect it to come sooner than expected.

Suzanne and Katya were still clinging onto me but I knew this setup would change. Once we’re in the outside world, we will no longer travel in groups. We will be alone to fend for ourselves and to make ourselves known to the people beyond the gates. We would be forced to associate ourselves with the ravages. It’s odd that once outside, we’re really just babies that know basic life skills. Will the others make it?

I’m sure of my own capabilities but I wonder if they’re sure of theirs too.

“It would be wise to forget about what happened this morning, everyone.” Silas tells us, a warm cup of coffee in his hands again. He was blowing on it, like this morning is just like every other morning he had here in the palace. Maybe it is. Maybe he’s used to death too. “I’m sure your maids were able to inform you that our schedule will be cut short and things will be somewhat shortened. I had to cancel some arrangements, and make everything ready given the short amount of time.”

I stop my movements and look at him, not quite surprised that I see his eyes were already on me.

I don’t know how long, but probably long enough that I should have noticed sooner.

“From the moment you all stepped in here, I was transparent of what I have planned. Was I not?”

Biting the inside of my cheeks, I managed to choke out a yes. He was. As much as I wanted to argue.

“I was able to inform you that I will not be following past methods of choosing a Luna. Correct?”

I look around me and the others faces were probably mirroring mine. We were all confused as hell. After another chorus of yeses. Silas placed his elbows on the table and leaned his head on the palm of his left hand. He almost looked bored.

“Tonight after dinner, I will be assigning the places you will have to check up on and do whatever it is necessary to help the residents. Like I mentioned before, there will be no guards, no special treatment, and no prior announcements of your arrival. There would have been two weeks of designated training for martial arts however, our time was cut short.” Silas then smiles, looking almost kind. “Then after tonight, you will be leaving by dawn.”

My eyes widened on their own accord and I did one thing I never knew I was capable of.

I stood up and slammed one of my palms on the table.

I knew it would be soon but it’s too early. Tomorrow is way too early.

My mouth opened but no words came out.

Silas smiled broadly at this. “What a surprise, number seven. Do you have anything to say to me?”

“Unfair,” I force myself to say. “This is unfair.”

“Probably,” he chuckles, his voice rich and deep. “No one said this will be easy. Right?”

“You told us we will be prepared once we go outside.” My voice was shaky at this point, something stirring inside of me. It might have been my wolf, but I doubt it. It is still way too early, I could still feel some suppressants in my system for them to be active. “You lie.”

“You were trained in poison making, were you not?”

“We can’t just poison other people who we’re suspicious of! We must learn how to defend ourselves!”

“Why don’t you sit and calm yourself down, number seven?”

I tilt my chin up. “Stop making it seem like I’m overreacting when I’m not.”

“Listen to what I have to say, number seven.” Silas pinches the bridge of his nose and motions for me to sit down. I stare at him for a few moments and do so. However, I do so on my own time, I won’t just follow him blindly. He was so proud in announcing that he wanted a partner and not a shadow, yet when we do speak our minds he shuts us out immediately. “I told you that you would be prepared the moment you step outside the gates, and I didn’t break my promise. You were taught of knowledge that involved the people outside, the places, the resources, and you were taught basic self-defense. With your knowledge, you can survive. Each of you will. Don’t you have faith in your own capabilities?”

I frown. That’s what I was thinking of just moments ago, it was weird.

“Silas,” Molly said, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “It’s just too sudden. It’s not that we distrust our capabilities. It’s also not that we’re not thankful for the knowledge you have given us with Plimoth. It’s just, too early. I’m afraid we might not be able to adjust that fast.”

“We’re not ready,” Tarryn says softly. Her voice so uncharacteristic that I had to do a double take to make sure that it was actually her that spoke. Mariana was by her side, almost consoling her by placing one of her hands on Tarryn’s shoulder. “Not all of us can do things alone.”

“They’re right, Silas.” Suzanne says, no food in her mouth this time. “We can’t do it.”

Katya mumbles beside me, but it was so soft that only I could hear her. “I’m scared.”

Silas frowns again and pinches the bridge of his nose looking down. His eyes were closed and I could see a vein popping by his forehead. Given the situation, I don’t think he should be the one that’s pissed off. We’re the ones whose lives are actually at stake here. All he has to do is sit inside the palace while we’re outside doing the heavy work for him.

“I expected much more from you, if we wait until everyone’s ready we will run out of time. We have to be quick about this,” Silas says, his words vague. “Or we might be too late.”

I wanted to speak out. I wanted so much to ask him why he was rushing, just what it is that he was planning. Why are we sacrificing our luxuries to just go and socialize with ravages?

I remember the body by the maze again, but this time I see our faces and not the servant’s.

I don’t understand why we have to do this. If Silas really trusts us, he would be saying what he’s planning instead of just telling us what to do and expecting us to follow blindly. For everyone else, this is probably just another contest we have to do in order to get the title. No one figured out yet that we would be leaving the same time that Alpha Irvine will be travelling to the Boreas.

I was able to read through Silas but I’m not allowed to just share and voice out what I know to the others. Aside from lessons and meal times, we rarely see each other inside the palace. Nor do we socialize with each other in the first place.

Eleanor was our glue and without her, we were just puzzle pieces that don’t fit.

✾

Dinner came and finished faster than expected and I can see that everyone was anxious.

We were quietly ushered by some of the help to go to a room that we haven’t been in before.

Once inside, I could tell that everyone was just as restless as me. Their eyes were all over the place. I assumed this was a board room used for meetings. It was a tiny space that had a huge round table, and plush chairs that encircled it. Aside from those, the only things that gave this place life was a lone piece of budding plant in the middle of the table.

It was a familiar piece of plant though, I could tell it was a growing Wolfsbane. I could feel the ticking of the clock and though I knew it was probably silent, I felt as if it was loudly ringing in my ears.

Silas hasn’t arrived yet. Looking around, I notice Tarryn and Mariana weren’t here too. I purse my lips, they were just here a moment ago, where could they have gone?

“How will you think I’ll do, Amara?” Katya asked me. “I’m afraid I’ll be the first one to fail.”

Oddly, I didn’t have the strength to pull her down some more. And this was a golden opportunity to rise against my opponents but I didn’t feel any thrill. I feel as if the moment Silas enters, all of us will lose. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Katya was probably shocked too because her eyes widened. “You think so?”

“You’ve improved quite a bit,” I force myself to say. Ego boosts can do wonders. “Keep it up.”

Katya blushed and looked down. She was playing with the loose strands on the hem of her dress but I could tell she was smiling broadly. If only I knew compliments could shut her up I could have given her thousands of it then.

A few moments later, Silas enters the room. He enters with Tarryn and Mariana in tow.

The two consorts sit quietly beside each other at the far end of the table and I look at them curiously. I could tell the others were too. “Thank you for waiting.”

Silas then reaches into his pockets and gets five small piece of crumpled paper. He goes around the room and hands everyone a piece, except Mariana. I stare at her, but she doesn’t lift her head up. Tarryn catches me staring at glares at me. I’m not scared of her though so I glare back. Silas reaches me last and smirks. His hands linger on mine once he gives me the piece of paper.

He makes sure we were all given papers, minus Mariana, and then he sits.

“Open it.”

We do. And I almost faint.