The night terrors return...

We walk for hours tirelessly, silent as we survey our surroundings. As I walk beside Ash I observe the aged trees with creaky branches hanging over our heads like devil claws, the wreathed ivy as it climbs the towering trunks almost suffocating them in its grip, the bright berries ripening under the leafy dome. 

As I lift my head to look at the sky I feel warm as the rays of mellow sunlight dance over my skin as it flickers through the leaves. Ash’s nostrils flare wide as he takes in the crisp, earthy scents around us, his eyes bright with curiosity. In a way… I think we’ll miss this place when we leave.

With our feet dragging behind us we scuttle through the debris strewn across the ground, snapping the fallen branches with each step we take. The camp becomes restless as the sun retreats into the canopy above in a magnificent flourish of ribbon-like fire, dimming our path as we wonder through the forest, the once singing birds now disappearing to their nests and leaving the forest even more empty than it already felt.

After what felt like a lifetime the camp gradually slows down to a halt as they begin to complain; the children now restless and hungry, nagging at their parents to stop. I sit down on a fallen tree led on the ground; damp with decay and drowning in moss, the overwhelming aroma of rot lingering in the air around me as I attempt to catch my breath. I look around and notice the others doing the same, stubborn from exhaustion, their bodies refusing to get back up. Aware of the camps growing fatigue Finn looks deep into the forest aware of the camps unwillingness to continue any more.

Within a few moments he turns around to face us gently smiling as he announces “Right, everyone we can stop” in a clear voice, raising his hand. A whisper of glees spreads amongst the camp – mostly the little ones eager to rest their weary heads.

I glance at Lillie whose looking relieved as she holds a sleeping Fara in her arms “Finally..” she groans. Lillie walks over to me and place’s Fara down next to the dead tree – she takes off her jacket and rolls it up gently lifting Fara’s head to slide it under, covering her small frame with a torn blanket. Lillie slumps beside her looking drained, her head lowered as she takes of her shoes individually inspecting them, as she raises one up its visibly broken “Great..” she remarks as she shakes her boot at me allowing the sole to flap. I giggle.

“I didn’t think we were ever gonna stop” she says placing the boot down, rubbing her ankles letting out a weak sigh. She takes her dirty socks off revealing red, sore cuts with blisters surrounding them – she begins to massage them wincing every so often as her fingers edge closer to her oozing wounds.

The more I rest the more my body becomes numb, lifeless as if all the energy has been stolen from me. I slide off the scratchy trunk and sit close to Fara, dropping my bag beside me making a thump on the crinkly ground. As I take my coat off and fold it I feel the soft evening breeze caresses my skin cooling me as I prop it under my head and lay down, slowly feeling my muscles unwind.

As we settle down preparing for our final night in the forest we look up at the sound of faint patters as they approach. Ash looks at me as he strides towards us - nudging my head with his wet nose, I reach out and stroke his shoulder as he walks past, feeling his bones begin to protrude from the recent weeks of eating scraps. I lean up to look at him; he’s out of breath, panting hard ready to give in to his much-needed slumber. He flops beside Lillie in a sluggish movement, making a small thump as his drained body hits the ground almost crushing her hand with his weight.

“Get off you big lump” she giggles, blushing almost as bright as her hair, giving him a gentle push as she enjoys the sweet moment.

Soon enough we all settle down, the conversation begins to fade as the sky smothers us in a dark, velvet blanket. I gaze up at the vast, seemingly empty sky as the low, flat clouds spread out before me like milky cotton balls – obstructing portions of the endless abyss showing off its timeless beauty as the sky’s hue darkened as the sun vanished. As I watch the stars appear one by one illuminating the sky like a trail of fairy lights I feel myself surrender to the growing need for sleep, happily drifting away.

As the darkness consumes me my dreams unfold flashing back through a series of memories…what day was this?

My mind watches as I walked around the Crescent City library in the morning inspecting the dusty neglected books on the tall forgotten shelves, the bus ride home embracing the freedom I now possessed, the peaceful walk back to the flat I shared with my brother, ordering pizza and arguing whether to have pepperoni or ham, sitting down and grabbing my borrowed book reading the first few chapters blissfully.

The dream quickly turns dark as if a shadow is covering the unfolding scene, feeling the atmosphere change I become uneasy inside. The shattering sound of the blood curdling screams erupting from outside, the look of panic spreading across Ash’s face and the growls and snarls that followed. The image of humungous wolves tearing through the streets under the streetlights as we tried to peek through the curtains in an attempt at figuring out what was going on.

Now recognising this day, I realise my dream is taking me back to the night of our cities takeover....the night of my capture.

Fear grows inside spreading quickly as it gnaws at my insides making me feel sick. A hushed rumble echoes throughout my dream world, gradually becoming louder as we arrive at what I was sure was our last moments that night. The shattering sound of the front door being burst open, the bass of the growl that bounced down the hall, the dark red eyes that locked onto me…the rumble now too intense to ignore.

                    She growls ferociously…

 As my eyes snap open I try to move but remain frozen to the ground; paralyzed from the menacing aura immobilising me, trapping me in its embrace. My heart pounds in my chest like a drum; resonating in my ears blocking out the sound of the night as a bead of cold sweat drips down from my hairline. My breath becomes shallow and raspy as I urge every muscle in my body to move releasing a pathetic whimper in desperation.

A surge of panic spreads through my veins as my eyes dart wildly in every direction; trying to take in the scenery surrounding me, longing for a glimpse of familiarity. As my eyes frantically search I focus on the long, twisted tree’s which are illuminated in the pale moons glow. Noticing the scent’s around me I suddenly feel safe as I’m reassured I’m no longer in the Crescent City, shaking off the remnants of the night terror. The fear begins to slip away releasing my body from its intense, unwanted grip. I feel my muscles loosen and my jaw unclench when I’m startled by a wet embrace on my upper arm causing my stomach to turn and allowing terror to creep back in faster than it had left.

My head jerks to the side in a swift movement - petrified at what is hovering around me. As my eyes adjust and focus on the figure standing beside me the feeling of relief quickly takes over as I realise it’s Ash; protectively sat beside me looking down with his large head tilted and his eyes wide with concern. I turn my head back towards the sky and the graceful moon above me, focussing on my breathing I’m taken back by how dry my mouth has become. As the adrenaline leaves my body I feel more at ease continuing to remind myself everything is fine and I’m nowhere near those monsters. Ash gently nudges me with his nose in an attempt to comfort me, visibly upset at what he has witnessed as I slept, feeling useless.

I take a few deep breaths and can already feel my pulse beginning to slow down, my body cooling as I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand, welcoming the brisk night air as it assists me. I lift my arm up shakily and reach out to soothe my brother who’s now towering over me looking increasingly troubled over my silence.

I conjure a faint smile “I’m alright Ash, its ok. Just another bad dream” I whisper trying to brush it off. He tilt’s his head in the opposite direction and whines – I can tell he’s worried. Ever since we escaped what remains of our home the nightmares followed, each night reminding me of my struggle during the last two weeks within the Crescent Cities wall’s. I lift myself up and shuffle back on the ground and rest against the perishing trunk, embracing the rough texture on my back through my old, worn shirt.

I quickly shift my glance around the camp feeling embarrassed, my cheeks warming as I cup my face and peek through my fingers awkwardly like a child - hoping no one else witnessed my episode. As my stare passes over the still, undisturbed campsite I let out a sigh, grateful that the others remained in their slumber.

Ash lets out a soft whimper as he lays down beside me, resting against my side. As he leans into me his weight almost pushes me over putting a small grin on my face. I rest my hand on his back and reassure him “Honestly Ash, I’m fine-” I trail off looking up to the sky hoping he stops, knowing all too well the reoccurring lecture he usually gives will be on our agenda tomorrow. His words “You’re not going to move on if you can’t forget!” echoing through my mind. If only I could…

He drops to his stomach in a huff, knowing he’s lost the battle in an attempt for me to open up about the horrors I faced when they captured me. If he knew what happened… he would never forgive himself for losing me that night. I can’t do that to him. 

He rests his large head on my lap, covering me like a blanket. His ears slightly twitching as he drifts into unconsciousness and within moments he’s fast asleep, snoring softly.

The night continues and I become desperate for sleep as my eyes grow heavier, exhausted from the journey we endured today. I let my train of thought wonder as our imminent arrival at the great Luna City creeps closer as the time passes, keeping myself entertained as Ash’s snores grow louder. I feel content as the reality of  a new start is within reach, waiting for us on the other end of the Forest and through the clearing. The images of tall, luxurious skyscrapers and busy shopping centres flashes through my mind. The scenes of the busy streets, the rushing humans and their culture sends a shiver of excitement down my spine; acknowledging this is the first moment I’ve felt truly happy in a long time, pushing all doubts far from my mind’s reach. 

I look over at Lillie and Fara who are sleeping peacefully, Fara’s mouth is gaped open allowing a slow stream of dribble to fall onto Lilies jumper as she cuddles into her older sister. Lillie’s arms are wrapped around her fiercely, keeping her close as she occasionally tries to turn or wiggle free, letting out an occasional murmur as her precious, untainted dreams play out. As Lillie cuddles her sister in a bear hold I notice how frail Fara looks compared to when we first met her realising how much it’s changed her… how much its changed us all.

I feel my face flush as I begin to tear up watching Fara - wishing my childhood were more like her own growing up with doting parents and a pack to belong too. Despite what she’s gone through she remains to be our beacon of hope; a positive force holding us together, pushing us to carry on for her sake. An overpowering sense of gratitude forms within as I remember how Lillie had told us how she had taken Fara from our city before the attack after being warned of the potential threat by their packs elder’s, her parents ordered them to leave promising they would meet them once it was safe. Due to Lillie’s selflessness her actions saved Fara from witnessing her pack being destroyed and her parents presumed annihilation – preserving a part of her childhood.

Hot tears begin to stream down my cheeks as memories of the orphanage come back to momentarily haunt me leaving my thoughts to spiral. I shake it off and wipe the steaming tears from my face, reminding myself of how far I’ve come since then. I’m aware there’s still room for improvement but I’m… proud of how much I’ve grown. I realise I’m stroking the distinct scar on my neck, acknowledging what I’ve overcome.