Chapter 5: I am Kelly

I went back to the hospital, feeling tired. 

I played hide and seek with that naughty child. No matter how much I yelled at him that I don't mean any harm and that I only want to talk to a single person, the child didn't spare me a moment. He clearly didn't believe me.

He just ran away and avoided me.

But why?

Finally, when the sun was about to go down, I decided to return the hospital and check on my body.

I don't feel hungry or anything. But the thought that I was alone and being avoided by the only person who could see me- the child and the arrogant ghost boy- made me feel weary. I feel like I have a hundred pounds of sand on my back.

I went to the windowsill.

 The nurse forgot to close the curtain in my room. But it was fine. With this, I could observe the pretty night sky and the full moon.

Seeing the round moon accompanied by a few stars, I felt melancholy.

The sadness I felt for being alone and without no one to depend on, was eating my courage. The thousands question about the world, who am I, or what would happen to me scared me.

I witnessed how the woman grieved over her lost child, and how the child clung to his mother's robes. The two wanted to feel each other's warmth, but they couldn't. One was gone and the other was left alone.

However, both of them were longing and feeling lost.

Was it the same for me?

I am not completely gone. But I was left alone. I don't belong to the living nor I belong to the dead.

But anytime, I can join the dead and be permanently gone.

It was scary. 

What was scarier was I don't know anything about myself. I don't know where to get my courage. Or how can I have it?

I am lost. Scared. Alone.

 All the pent up frustration I was bottling inside suddenly poured out. 

My tears started to fell down one by one.

I am terrified of the unknown. And I don't know what to do.

A sob came out of my mouth. I want to ask for help. I want to ask for warmth.

The more I think of my current situation the more I cried loudly. I wept like a child. No one would hear me or see me anyway.

While crying, I finally understand why that arrogant boy silently wept on the stairway. He must have probably felt lonely and afraid too, like me.

Realizing that, I cried more. 

I don't feel the freezing wind. However, I felt so cold.

*****

After bawling my eyes out, the heavy feeling in my heart dissipated. Crying is not a weakness. But it is one way to vent. 

Since I couldn't sleep even if I wanted too, I decided to take a stroll in the hospital again.

I penetrated through the door.

But then I was stunned to see the arrogant boy leaning on the wall of my room.

He too looked shocked to see me.

"..." I blinked at him. What he was doing here?

"..." He too blinked. He opened his mouth to speak but there's no voice that came out.

"What?" I asked.

"..It..it will get better. You'll get used to it." After saying that he turned back and penetrated to another room.

What was that?

Were those words of..encouragement? Comfort?

Was he..worried about me?

Then I shook my head. 

Nah. It's probably the loud cry I made earlier. Did he hear that?

Thinking that someone heard me or witnessed my moment of being dramatic, I felt embarrassed.

Anyway, what's with him? He doesn't sound arrogant at all. Maybe he wasn't that bad.

I floated to the stairways to continue my plan of visiting another floor. I just passed by the elevator, when it suddenly opened.

A woman, probably in her late thirties, came out. She looked rich just the way she dresses and through the number of jewelry she wore.

This made me postpone my plan. My antenna for gossips was signaling me that this woman smelled a lot of them. She was carrying a story that might quench my boredness.

I mean, there were only two rooms here that were occupied. The first room from the staircase and the last room here on this floor, which was mine.

Ever since my accident, no one visited the floor except the workers. So either she was my visitor or the patient's visitor from the first room.

So I followed her while observing her up and down.

 Was she my mom? 

She was a beautiful woman. But she didn't look like me. I don't resemble her at all. 

Hmm..maybe she was my aunt?

However, my hope vanished when the woman entered the other room. NOT my room.

"..." I was disappointed.

But then I decided to follow the woman and just might take a glimpse as well at the only patient who lived on the same floor as me.

As I was about to go through the door, I suddenly felt a chilling sensation on my back. I quickly turned around.

There he was, the arrogant boy was standing behind me. His pretty pale face was just a few inches away from me.

With this distance, I could clearly see him.

He had slender brows, his long and thick lashes were protecting his beautiful eyes.

Oh, those eyes, they were not entirely black like I had thought. They were beautiful shades of grey, no, the more I looked into his eyes, the more I can see my reflection. It was like his eyes were a pool of water, clear as a mirror.

No matter, I was not good at words. I could only describe them as devastatingly beautiful.

"Didn't I tell you to not wander around this floor?" However, those pretty eyes looked menacingly at me.

I blinked. Even still, I couldn't wave off easily the mesmerizing face in front of me.

Those lovely eyes had a flash of confusion and irritation. His slender brows furrowed.

"Are you listening to me? Hey? Hello back to earth to Kelly." He said in an impatient voice.

I finally got awaken from my daze. 

Dang! I stared at him openly and in a very long time at that.

I hide my embarrassment. I turn around. It must be my imagination but I felt my heart was pounding loud. Admiring a beauty in just a few inches away would surely make anyone's heart thumped fast.

Darn. That arrogant boy was really handsome. If he didn't speak, he might pass for an angel.

If he had called my name with a gentle 'Kelly, come here' or ' Kelly, don't worry, or maybe 'Kelly, I am always with you', I would surely be his number one fan.

Just-

Hold on.

What did he call me?

Kelly?

"Kelly.." I repeated

It sounded familiar and yet strange in my tongue. It was like I am always hearing that name in my entire life but I didn't say it much.

What else could it be?

It was surely my name.

"I am Kelly," I said with wide eyes.