Chapter 12

Dixon's eyes were fixed on me. I really couldn't understand why he was acting like this.

"Why is he pretending that he cares about me? We are divorced..."

I pulled my hand out of his palm, trying to calm myself down. "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe I've always wanted love. Since I'm rich, it has just occurred to me that maybe I could buy love with the money I have. Anyway, it's not like I've never done something like this before."

I paused for a second as I stared into his clear eyes, then went on to say, "I've traded the Shaw Corporations for our marriage. Now I'm just trading money for love."

"Then, let's date."

I was so surprised that I dropped my purse on the ground. "What did you say?"

"I'll date you and pretend to love you. I'll spoil you and cherish you as if you're the most precious thing in my life. I'll make you happy and do whatever you tell me to do. I will be your perfect boyfriend until the day of my wedding."

His last words woke me up. It was nothing but a dream.

He was going to marry someone else. I might have been miserable, but I still had my pride. I'd rather search for a random person on the street and get rejected over and over again than be with him. It was still more bearable than asking him to do me the favor. Besides, I had given him a chance before we got divorced. Now it was too late.

Besides, it sounded like he was showing me pity.

It was true that I loved him and was willing to die for him. However, that wasn't enough for me to let him pity me. Maybe I was just being ridiculous with my self-esteem, but that was the only thing I had left in front of him.

I practically fled from the villa. I hid in my room after my return, ignoring all the messages from Dixon.

He had asked me when I turned to escape, "Why are you running away?" I still couldn't answer the question.

I told myself that he loved Gwen Worth and that they were about to be married.

I knew clearly that I would have been ecstatic if he had offered to be my boyfriend before our divorce.

But now everything had changed, and the last thing I wanted from him was his mercy.

I preferred dying alone to having him pity me.

In the following week, I hid at home and didn't even step outside. My health had been deteriorating. Most of the time, I was listless. Sometimes, a whole day would pass and I wouldn't do anything but lie in bed.

I had been muddleheaded like that until Summer called me.

She called to asked me to accompany her to meet Joseph Connor at his granny's house in the village.

She said that she did not have the courage and was afraid that he would refuse to see her.

I promised her that I would meet her later.

I put on the delicate makeup which I had worn habitually over the last few days. I arrived at the tea house and saw Summer dressed in plain clothes.

She was wearing a white T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and no makeup.

She was nothing like how she used to look.

I was surprised. "It's rare to see you without any makeup on."

Summer said with an uneasy look, "Joseph has never seen me with makeup. I heard that his family is very poor right now, so I'm afraid that he..."

I asked directly, "Are you afraid that he will feel inferior when he sees you?"

She tried hard to smile and said, "I don't want him to feel any pressure."

"There's no way to avoid it. He will feel pressure whatever you do."

I was being honest and straightforward. There was no point in avoiding the facts.

Joseph had been shunning her for eight years.

How could he handle the fact that she had turned out to be even more glamorous?

Hearing this, Summer fell into a long silence. Eventually, she just told me to change my clothes and remove my makeup.

I didn't argue. I found some plain clothes and got changed. Summer still wasn't very satisfied with my new style. I had to try on all kinds of plain clothes. I was extremely patient, however, she was getting upset that nothing was working.

Finally, she accepted her fate and said, "It's not about the clothes."

I raised my eyebrows and asked, "What's it about then?"

She shook her head and said sadly, "It's never about the clothes. Carol, you're a beauty and you can't hide your charisma by simply wearing some plain clothes. It doesn't work for me either. That's why I'm afraid to meet with him."

Summer had been afraid that her presence would put pressure on Joseph. That was why she had postponed their destined meeting.

She had gathered all her courage today, but she was starting to back down again.

I encouraged her. "Why don't we try?"

Summer sounded worried. "Do you think he'll refuse to see me?"

"No, he won't. I believe he has basic manners."

However, I was wrong. There was always a discrepancy between reality and imagination. We rushed to the village, full of expectation, only to be blocked by Joseph's grandmother. We tried every possible way to persuade her, and in the end she let us in.

That was the first time I had seen Joseph Connor, the man that Summer loved. He was wearing a shabby down jacket and sitting in a wheelchair. He had lost his legs in the car accident. His eyes were dull as he looked at a withered plum tree in the courtyard.

He looked extremely haggard, and there were scars all over his face. Seeing him like this, tears quietly streamed down Summer's face. I could understand how much pain she was going through.

She slowly walked towards him and called his name in a broken voice, "Joseph Connor."

Her voice was very low, as if she was afraid that she might scare him.

Joseph seemed to be stunned for a moment. He slowly turned to look at Summer, his gaze dull and numb. "Who are you?"

Summer froze on the spot, not knowing what to do. Neither of us had predicted this.

I quickly asked, "Do you remember someone named Summer Jacobs?"

He smiled like an innocent big boy, showing his pearl-white teeth. "Who's that?"

Hearing this, Summer cast a helpless glance at Joseph's grandma. The old grandma sighed and said, "He's been like this for a long time. I don't know if something's wrong with his head."

All these miserable years seeing her grandson like that, there was a strong sense of helplessness in her tone. It seemed that she had given up all hope.

Summer didn't say anything else. She simply stood there gazing at Joseph.

I had a feeling that she was still trying to detect a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

After a long time, she turned to me and said, "Come on, Carol. Let's go home."

We headed back to Wu City. In the car, Summer said firmly, "He hasn't lost it. He knows who I am. I can feel him struggling. It's written in his eyes."

"So..."

"He doesn't want to admit that he still remembers me."

After returning to Wu City, Summer made up her mind and got ready to close down the tea house. I asked her seriously, "Have you decided on that? What are you going to do if your family disagrees with your plan? What if everyone looks down on him? Have you made up your mind to stay with him and take care of him for the rest of your life? You know he won't be able to walk again or care for himself, don't you?"

She nodded firmly. "I could have died eight years ago. I owe this life to him. I don't care if he is playing dumb or if he has really forgotten about me. I just want to be with him for the rest of my life. I can endure all of the sorrow as long as I'm by his side. I know for sure that I will be happy with him. I can feel it right now. Before I found out that he was still alive, I had lost the ability to love and be loved. But now, it feels like I have my heart and soul back. I'm finally myself again."

It felt like she could go on talking about how happy she was forever.

Practically speaking, to give up everything to be with Joseph Connor would require a lot of money. In the days to come, even if they didn't need much in the way of luxurious entertainment, they still wouldn't be able to live without everyday necessities.

I thought for a moment and reminded her, "A week ago, I left a bank card next to your laptop. I suppose you've figured out that it was from me, but you have never asked me for the PIN."

She pursed her lips and said, "I already know it."

Hearing this, I smiled. "You know me the best."