Dark Ages 1460 - I beg you, don't do it!

I didn’t know what else to do. It didn’t matter what I said or did, he didn’t listen to me. “I am who I am, Alizandra, I can’t let go. I was forged in blood and death, and I know no other way!” it was what I heard from him, and believe me, something broke inside my chest. I still had my night terrors and also did he, but as long as we slept in each other's arms we could keep them at bay, but I hadn’t been able to shed them away, and my eyes always carried a haunted expression. Our souls were intertwined for all eternity, that was a fact, and it didn’t matter what would happen to us, we would always be together. He asked me not to sneak out anymore, but to take Liana with me when I wished to  walk around the village, but not even that appeased me anymore. I preferred staying by the courtyard garden, or praying in the chapel. So I kept my promise, because he was the one breaking all of them.

I had my eyes and ears inside my home, and I knew everything that would go on around me. Most of the Transylvanian settlers were Germans, they were good hardworking people, and they were great in the makings of firearms, like cannons and the sultan took a liking at the idea. Most of Vlad’s business involved the districts of Sibiu and Braşov, so he had an agreement with them, he’d help defend the Saxons from the Turks, give political asylum if needed, and let them exchange goods in some towns, sell their merchandise to customers and buy directly from the producers, and their only obligation was to pay the Wallachian customs duties. But all the shit started when the Habsburgs and Hunyadis began a fight for the crown in Hungary, and wanting or not the Hunyadis had helped him secure his throne in Wallachia, so he sided with them. The Saxons started treating him as a traitor, and unfounded rumors circled around, and that drove him out of his mind. He tried to treat everything with diplomacy, but they didn’t even answer him. The final blow came, when two people appeared to fight for his crown; Dan, Vladislav II brother, who Vlad had slayed in one of his battles, and his half brother, also called Vlad by the title, The Monk! I’ve never seen this man so furious!

These past few weeks he had come and gone, always pacing back and forth like a wild beast, and if I needed him, I’d find him in the chapel, completely alone and miserable. This situation was killing him inside.

“Vlad, I feel your distress and affliction,” I told him when I got into the chapel, and his answer was to embrace me by the waist, hiding his face on my chest. Instantly my arms brought him closer to me. Oh dear God, how I wished everything was different. 

“Draga mea, whatever comes on my way, I need your forgiveness.” he looked at me crushed, his eyes bearing the heavy weight of his decisions.

“Who am I to judge and forgive? I’m just human like you. I respect your decisions, but it doesn’t mean I accept them as right. You know my beliefs and the way I think, but what saddens me most is that not even for me you change your ways, but I accept, for some reason God put me in here, and I must make peace with my fate.”

“Please, don’t say this way. I love you so much, but I have to do what I have to do. There are so many people against me already, don’t be one of them. 

“And I’m not my love, I just wished things were different,” I conveyed to him, cupping his chin and making him face me, so he could see the truth in my words, then I kissed him with all my being, putting all my love and care for him in that kiss, because I knew our lives would never be the same after that day.

“Believe me, I don’t know another way to seize their power and their supporters, Liz!” 

And he did! He raided terror throughout Transylvanian soil, trying to bring down Dan III and his supporters, they were his enemies, and they needed to pay the price. Dan also had his army, and the offensive against Vlad was ugly; the battles a bloodbath, and things turned out for the worst when he tried to invade Wallachia, but Vlad had been ready for him, and he met his fate right at the border. 

Liana, desperately came to me one day, saying the master had gone crazy and I needed to do something. She could barely speak, she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the castle down to the river, where usually was the spot to his “show of power”, to me more of a horror show. And he was there, calmly sitting at a table dinning in front of all that carnage. I stopped in a halt when he saw me. Only I knew what was going on under that calm demeanor, his eyes were clouded with fear and agony. One of his men, Anton, came and knelt in front of him and offered a chalice, and instantly I understood what he was about to do, he stared at me with such intense sorrow, pleading for my forgiveness, but how could I forgive him this time?

“Please, I beg you, don’t do it!” my eyes were wider than saucers and my throat was closing in, I couldn’t breathe anymore, my heart thundered in my ears so loud it was deafening.

“I have to do it, my enemies seem not to be frightened anymore and I need them to fear me. I cannot fall into their hands, neither let them seize Wallachia from me,” his rough voice boomed into my ears. “Everybody in every corner will hear about it. This act will go a long way, but believe me, I didn’t want it to come to this point.”

“Why then, Vlad?”

“Who wouldn’t fear a man who drinks the blood of his foes?” I caught the bitterness in his tone, I had to do something, dissuade him from this horrendous act, but I didn’t know how. 

“If you do this, you will crave that for the rest of your days! Your soul will undeniably burn in hell, and this time I will never forgive you! Never! Do you understand me?” I worked with the only weapon I had with me at that moment; I threatened him with my words.

He was in front of his men, and he wouldn’t do what a woman told him to, how shitty was that? His eyes didn’t let go of me one second, my heart was at my throat, he gripped a piece of bread, and still staring at me he dipped in that unholy liquid, and after some agonizing minutes, he ate it and drank the whole thing afterwards, the sky darkened, a whiplash of lighting and thunder resounded, falling into a tree, shredding to pieces and burning the thing down, and the last thing I saw before darkness took me away was the pain in his eyes. He knew what he had done.

When I woke up I was in my bed, a bad rainstorm was angrily lashing the walls outside, and he paced from one side to another in the room. I imagined this act of restlessness had been going on for some time, now. I’ve tried everything, I loved him with everything I had in me, and besides his cruel ways, his people believed in him and looked up to him, he had their liking and acceptance, too. He just needed to change his ways. I knew the man behind the mask, but he was deeply entrenched to avenge his family and the promise he made to his father to free his beloved land, not only from the Turks, but as I saw now, anyone who posed as a threat to him. He knew I was awake the minute I’d opened my eyes, and stopped on his tracks staring at me with a mix of pain, remorse, horror and else. My Vlad was indeed a tortured soul.