5 : Late-Night Confessions

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Her sweaty palms went cold on her bare thighs as Veronica sat on the bed. Her back and legs felt like limp lettuce. She'd already stripped down to her nightdress, and the orange numbers her nightstand clock flashed told her it was going to be a long night. She waited for the sound of her faucet going off.

The bathroom lights — because her boyfriend left the door ajar — kept her bedroom from being pitch-black. Veronica eyed his carry-on sports duffel near the windows. His hefty baggage then reminded her how he'd spent his entire day hopping on planes.

Théo had just walked in a list of fashion shows in New York, Paris, and Milan consecutively. After fixing up a week-long vacation so he could spend time with her, he'd flown back to the US. Théo arrived an hour ago. She couldn't drive to pick him up at the airport at that point because Kyle was throwing another hissy fit back in the studio — something that had only started happening last month.

She was supposed to be working with her bandmates until nine tonight. But she suspected Kyle might've heard Théo was already in town, so she drove back to her apartment early.

"I don't feel so good; my allergy's actin' up," was her excuse when Kyle had texted her to get back so they could resume recording.

Although she'd taken rest days this week, she still felt a little below par. Working almost 15 hours a day the past weeks was exhausting all of them already. Thus her suggestion that they take a good long break, just like what she planned on doing all week.

Their songs were nearly done, anyway. They might fall a few more days behind schedule, but she knew everything would still be a-OK if they were to take some time off.

Now she was trying to quell her nerves to not spoil the night for her hardworking beau.  Veronica got up and grabbed his ruckled pile of clothes on the bed. "My clothes smell weird and sorry I smell worse," he'd said before rushing to her bathroom to shower.

Ten minutes ticked by before Théo came out of the bathroom. He had on her robe, which was the same shade of white as her room's plain walls. Her kind landlord had offered to have the old apartment units repainted last week;  so most of her bought paintings and wall decor were still stuffed in bulky packing boxes in the living room.

Théo leisurely paced towards her while he dried his dark blonde hair using her towel. His baggy eyes told her he'd had a heck of a city-hopping this month. The major Fashion Weeks—in New York, Paris, Milan, and London, specifically—most of the time were closely scheduled.

Waiting for him to get near left her standing against her closet door, thoughts racing, her skin slightly tingling in excitement.  His intimidating blue eyes were admiring her from head to toe.  It put a small smile on her lips and made her feel quite bashful. He threw the towel over his shoulder upon reaching her side.

"What a view..." Théo teased. A roguish grin spread across his lips. He took hold of her wrist to drag her towards the bed, enveloping her in a tight embrace afterwards. His chin rested on her right shoulder. His arms held her against his chest while they both faced the windows. "What?" he murmured against her cheek when she kept hushed up.

His minty breath warmed her skin.  Being this close to him always made her feel warm inside.  "You need sleep."

"Had to drop by the agency first. Vinci drove me to the airport," Théo replied, before mumbling something about Vincent—his close friend who was also a French model—thinking of transferring to another agency.

"To yours?"

Théo uttered a rumbly 'Mm-hmm', then  tucked his soap-smelling face into the curve of her neck. "Missed you badly." He groaned as his hug tightened around her waist. "How many songs left?"

"Just finished the fourth," she answered shortly. She didn't want to elaborate or mention anything about the other night, and her argument with Kyle.  "We could sleep in," she suggested. She knew how much he'd been busting his rump all month long...his perfectly-shaped, second look-worthy rump.

"Sounds promising." Théo snickered.  Despite him looking dog-tired, she still thought he was the biggest temptation on two legs.  Admittedly, he was the best-looking among the men she'd been involved with. Probably the nicest, too.

"You okay?" Veronica noted his voice that sounded gruff and a little nasal. "You sound sick."

"I'm good," Théo murmured as he left light kisses across her shoulder. His hands hitched up her nightgown, until the laced hem was already on her waist. "I know you're tired, babe. But...it's been months. And you just look—" He grunted, his hand now sneaking inside her silken nightie. "—and smell so good." His teeth grazed her nape.

At his caresses and smooth, insinuating flattery, she couldn't hold off smiling and biting on her lip in pleasure. "Oui, vous pouvez."

•••

She missed him. She didn't expect to see him again this soon. But he'd made an effort to fix up a pleasant surprise for her, and she couldn't be any happier.

Her entire body already tiring out, Veronica held in a complaint when the guy snuggling to her pinched her nose again. She was close to drowsing off, and she knew he hadn't had enough rest the whole week. But, by the looks of it, he still seemed uneager to call it a night.

"You're falling asleep. Am I that boring?" Théo lay to her right, propping himself on the bed using his elbow. Her thick blanket partly covered her and his lean but impressive build.

His job as a high fashion model didn't allow him to grow bulging muscles, which she favored. He was just one of those people who were born photogenic. "It's past midnight." She yawned.

"Best hours of the day." His shadowed eyes and cheeks glistened under the dim lamplight. Théo snickered and dropped his head on her pillow.

"Goodnight! This is final." She tried not to smirk at his teasing, then turned to the side to start praying. But his strong arm rolled her onto her back again.

"Right." He leaned over her, splayed his hand atop her stomach, and began kissing her on the mouth.

Oh dear. Not again. He was using his mouth-to-mouth skills like a pro, making her giggle when she felt his soft lips smile against hers. She closed her eyes, and she just savored the amorous gesture.

"Missed you so much. D'you miss me?"  Théo murmured while reiterating in between kisses how much he missed her, which she understood.

After all, it had been months since they'd last spent time together. And though she wasn't one to say it out loud over and over, she missed him like crazy, too. His gaze stilled on her face when she touched his chin.

"Je t'aime beaucoup," he mouthed. His warm palm now stroked the curve of her hips.

Veronica forced her lips to smile;  her logy brain was again erring into what had been keeping her on edge for days now.  She watched his anticipative expression, then mentally scolded herself for dillydallying.

"Ça va?" Théo groped for her hand underneath the covers, still seeming engrossed in her anything but striking features. He pressed her palm onto his lips to kiss it twice.

Sluggishly, she sat up and folded her legs under her blanket. Her hand hiked up the thick covers to swathe her scantily-clothed torso. She tapped the tip of his nose while she suppressed another smile. "Tone it down, man. Getting schmaltzy."

"We should just get married," he mumbled in reply. For a moment, his eyes just focused on her reaction. Worry subdued his effort to keep up a neutral expression when her smile gradually faded.

Not bothering to feign shock, she heaved a sigh. "Théo—"

He let go and darted his stare to the ceiling. His strained smile drew lines on his face. "You didn't say you love me, too," he muttered next.

"Stop right there!" She snickered and dipped her head to leave quick kisses on his cheek. "You're too cute when you're petty."

"I'm not being petty," he said with a stern tone, his lashes hiding half of his eyes as he squinted at her. "Haven't seen you in months... I think 'desperate' wouldn't be overstating it." His noisy sigh afterward denoted his annoyance.

Her lips rucked up as she watched his scowl compound. She wanted to give him an apologetic kiss and say something reassuring, but, at the moment, all she wanted to do was kick herself in the head for letting him feel a little less important...after being stuck on the plane and sitting through two connecting flights on the same day.

"Sorry. I'm just...surprised. I really thought your flight was scheduled this June," was her response. But she knew he always liked surprising her. She wondered if he treated every girlfriend he'd had that way. Probably.

In her groggy head, she then tried to vividly recall how the two of them met.

She met him through Jamie, a common friend, a working model who moved to France years ago to pursue a career in Europe.  They hung out often when Veronica visited her relatives and college buddies in Paris.

Months of elaborate songwriting was what she had initially planned for her stay in Paris. But the whole city was still too rousing and eventful to pass off.

Some nights, she would hang out with Jamie and her boyfriend, who also knew Théo's friends.  She officially met Théo that night they were celebrating the holidays in Paris.

Although he seemed somewhat tense, Théo had done most of the talking at first.  "So your band—you're on tour every year?" was his intro for their small talk that night, which later turned into a good three hours of  "small talk".

She kept staring at him before she recognized him from a fashion magazine cover she'd seen weeks before. "Wait...are you... You're that guy!" She laughed then because he looked different. "I've been tryna recall—"

"I know. It's just makeup, and lots and lots of Photoshop," he joked with an eye roll. "Sorry meeting me in person is such a disappointment."

"No— I didn't mean it that way." She kept chuckling. She also told him it was his striking blue eyes that helped her remember him posing for the magazine.

After she'd shared about her college background, her recent trips out of the country, and her being Paris-born like him, Théo had dropped the question. "So can I text you sometime this week?"

"Um...I'm not gonna be staying in France for long," had been her first reaction. She was just trying to seem modest then. All night she'd been waiting for him to ask for her number.

He'd insisted, anyway. "I travel to the US at least twice a year. New York especially. More often than Jamie," he even told her. Théo hadn't asked her out on a date until he'd confirmed days later that she already bought a plane ticket.

Veronica guessed he was just too busy that time. Being one of the top models of the biggest agencies, he frequently traveled back and forth between cities. And so he barely had time to date.

She hadn't met a guy as nice, friendly, and funny—on occasion, in a coarse manner when a little intoxicated. "He's just real easy to get along with," she'd told Jamie over and over every time Jamie tried to pry.

Théo was also a thoughtful, sensitive guy, generous, and just someone comfortably exciting to be around—if there were such term for it.

At first, Veronica kept reminding herself she was just having fun. "We're just two people having a good time," she'd told her mom a number of times.

"So you'd rather travel 4,000 miles just to see him, instead of driving over here to spend a weekend with me," was her mother's doubtful reply over the phone. "Nothing more than a stretch of friendly dates, huh?"

"Yep." Veronica just smiled at the retort. But she wasn't blown out of the water when Théo admitted he didn't want her to go back to the US. Of course she told him to keep in touch.

And that, he did. She didn't apprehend what they had was anything worth pondering until he showed up one evening at her doorstep, dressed in worn-out jeans and sneakers, and clutching an early birthday present for her. They became official after that.

•••

"Via," Théo prompted when she kept looking timid. His deep voice drew her back to reality in a blink.

She inched closer to tug at his forearm. She knew he'd rather be somewhere else now after her failure to react delightedly as how you'd expect someone who'd just been proposed to would. She was the one clasping his hands this time. "You know what I'll say."

His eyes avoided hers immediately after her reply. Théo sat up and loosened her grip on his wrist.

The look on his face made her want to swear. Frustrated and put off would best describe him at the moment. Although it wasn't well-defined, she could tell he was really cut up that Jamie had tattled to her of his plans, and that she didn't want much of them to ensue just yet. In assurance, she drew him closer and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

An awkward embrace and a long while of uneasy gestures happened before he spoke up. "Didn't even give it a thought." His voice sounded even lower because of his mumbling.

"Of course I did—"

"So...not right now?"

"Too soon, don't you think?" she whispered. It was too late when she realized she had used Kyle's words. Now her earlier plans of breaking up with Théo so they could take a break made her want to bang her head on the wall.

"Still think it's nothing serious?" Théo asked with a straight face. When she only frowned at the question, he went on, "You'll just laugh, but..." He shrugged faintly. "You're the marrying kind, Via."

She snorted at his line to lighten up the mood, preferring to change the subject. "Oh gee... What else did the guys tell you to say?"

"What?" Théo's dark brows knitted.

She shook her head to tell him she doubted his good word. She kept a smile on, though. But she knew it looked unnatural so she dropped the act and returned his stare.

"I'm not kidding." He kind of glared now.

She let her eyes convey her uncertainty. Just when she was about to grab his hand, he again spoke of how much and why he thought now would be the right time for their relationship to progress into something more serious. "Not so sure we're set for that," she said almost too quietly to be heard. It took her much effort not to shy away from his galvanizing gaze.

"I'm fine with this, but...the more time we spend apart—" His breath hitched. "—the more I think I have to do something."

"Why?" Veronica kept still.

"I mean, it's a good job," he said with a slight pout. "But I can't do it forever. And I don't care that your parents don't like me, or whatever."

"Wow. You're really going there," she quipped, only to be disappointed when he didn't even give back a fake smile, or blink.

"You're a lot fun to be around, always appreciative and caring. I dunno...you just...make me feel good about everything," he muttered, lengthening his stare. "We're still good?" His question was a murmur. His creased brows and the anxiety in his eyes told her he'd supposed she would call the whole thing off.

"Ugh. You're such a cheeseball sometimes." She pulled him into another embrace, hoping he'd understand her decision and her view on the matter. Bemused, she held him tightly, gauging what he was now contemplating. He was stubborn and was just a go-getter through and through, but that was just him. It was one of the things she loved about him.

"I'm not complaining or anything. Just...it's bad enough that I barely see you," was what Théo said next while evidently holding his breath. "Just don't want it to end up like—" He sighed and placed his forearm on his bent knee.

"Um... Yeah, I think you've already pulled out all the stops there." She placed her fist over her mouth to conceal a grin.

Another grimace compressed his lips. Then he asked her a follow-up question she didn't quite prepare herself for. "Any chance you'd say yes?" Théo swallowed and stared at her face again. "Like...in a year? Or two?"

"Théo—"

"At least think about it."

"T, can we not..." Veronica sighed, uncertain of what else to say. She stared back into his imploring eyes. With obviously no choice on the table, she mulled over his more spontaneous second proposal. And she knew she shouldn't say anything more, or else she'd lose him.

"Est-ce que tu m'aimes?"

"Oui." She just about glared at him. Did he really need to ask her if she loved him?  "I considered it a couple times, too." She bit on her bottom lip and averted her eyes. "Doesn't do me any favors, though," she mumbled.

It put a grin on his face. He drew her to him again. He kept kissing her until she responded to his affectionate gesture, not at all expecting his gladness at her indefinite reply. "I'm sorry." They hugged tight. "Sometimes I just hate seeing you with someone else." In between kisses, Théo murmured promises she desperately wanted to bear in mind.

Sadly, she knew otherwise. "We're good." Veronica put her chin on his shoulder to hide from his scrutinizing gaze. "Chill," she joked.

"It screws with my sanity sometimes that we just can't be in the same place at the same time, on the same page about things. Lately, it's just..." Théo muttered.

The statement only left her tongue-tied again, and she just listened, now taken up with his insecurity. One way or another, something must've made him suppose she'd been having more indecisive moments whenever their relationship was at issue.

Sure...she loved and trusted him more now. But she was as work-focused and ambitious as he was. A couple of reasons already threatened to point out the inevitable.

Would they even get to year three?

Although it hurt to think her family thought he was not the man for her, she wanted to stay positive. She really did.

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