A way out

Miron’s story

-          Did you call Annabelle to help you do what?

From the very second I stepped inside the studio, Peter started interrogating me. I have known Peter for six years now. He has been my best friend, almost like a brother. I alone know the reason why I called her to help me and maybe Annabelle herself knows it too.

-          I need her Peter!

-          Who, Annabelle, or Miss Rita?

-          You know what I am talking about…

-          I know…but Annabelle?

-          She was the only one available.

-          Well, as far as I know, her I bet she already told her about your…thing…

-          My thing???

-          Oh, come on! You can see from afar that you are in love with her!

-          Is it that obvious?

-          Does the sunshine in the morning?

My friend’s statement made me realize and accept that I am really in love with this woman. If in the beginning, I denied my feelings now things are different. This lady shook my entire world and every time I see or speak to her like never before, I stumble in my words. I want to say something but my mouth refuses and says a totally different thing. I am like a teenager that falls in love for the first time. Or I am walking on unsafe soil waiting in any minute to fall.

-          I was right, wasn’t I?

-          What to do now?

-          First, it’s good that you admitted to yourself, and second, you have to come clean with her too!

-          How am I supposed to tell her that?

-          You go in front of her, take her hands in yours and shoot!

-          Easy to say…

Never in my life have I been in this kind of situation. So many concerts, so many shows with thousands of people, and now, with just one, my heart is jumping in a million places. With only her presence my whole being is transforming into one without a will. It becomes one that I can’t control anymore. If sin had a name, Rita would be that name. I started to wonder how she feels about me.

-          Look, man, all you have to do is give her some time. She is quite vulnerable right now. Think about it, she can’t see or walk. Even her memory is affected.

-          I know Peter that is precisely why I choose to wait. I mean, she lives in my house, she is not going anywhere.

-          For now!

I am sure Peter saw the shadow of sadness across my face. He is right. She stays with me because she needs help not because she needs me. She is trying to cope with the situation. Her world will collapse when she finds out about her sister. And I will be the one to tell her. Will she hate me for this?

-          Come on, you have to practice!

-          And practice I shall!

Or at least I was trying to focus on what I was doing. Every time I took the trombone a sad sound got out of it. It was as if it was feeling my anxiety. What is wrong with me? I never had these shortcomings. If someone who did not know me would listen to me playing for the first time that someone would say I was a damn beginner. Peter felt immediately that something was not quite right. 

-          Miron, are you feeling ok?

-          I guess I am…

-          Do you guess? You never guess you know for sure. So something is off. What is it?

-          You don’t know when to give up, don’t you?

-          When my friend is distracted, I don’t. Is it Miss Rita?

Staying perplexed and not moving a single muscle made Peter come closer. He placed a hand over my forehead.

-          Do you have a fever?

-          Stop that, will you?

With only one move of my hand, I brutally removed his. Peter was gazing at me with his big eyes.

-          Stop what? You put Annabelle in your house to care for her and you run away here, in the studio, under the pretext you are rehearsing? Who would believe that?

-          Well, I do.  I need to believe…

-          So I am right. It is from Miss Rita.

-          Yes, you are, are you happy now?

-          Well, because I found the reason, yes I am, but are you?

-          I try not to get involved that much.

-          But you are, my friend, you are in over your head!

-          What do you want me to say? That from the first time I saw her, in that crashed car I can get her out of my mind? That she is so deep in my soul every day and night. That when I see her all I want to do is hold her in my arms and kiss her like crazy? That my body reacts to each of her breaths and I dream of having her in my life? That in these past three months I’ve gone freaking crazy for not having her?

-          Oh my Lord!

-          There, I said it!

-          You said it alright, so what now?

-          You tell me, wise guy!

I feel relieved now that I confessed. But who guarantees me that she feels the same? Maybe no one and that is what I am afraid of. I don’t want to push her let alone leaving her into a world she would not want once she will find out she actually remained alone.

Rita’s story

            This house is so big for me and without Miron in it is bigger. Annabelle comes from time to time to help me but nevertheless I am feeling like Miron is avoiding me. This week he stayed home with me barely three hours during the day, every day. At night I can hear him come so late that I just lock myself into my room not to bother him. His room is right next to mine. Sometimes, if it’s so quiet, I can hear his breathing through the wall.

            I don’t really know what is happening to me when he is close. There are moments when he stays so close that I feel invaded by his masculinity. Not even at this point, I believe him to be who he says he is. But, despite that, he seems to be a wonderful man.

            I still have nightmares from the accident. This evening I decided to go into the kitchen to have a glass of warm milk. Maybe it could help me sleep. I hope…

            Miron arranged the house especially for me so I can use my wheelchair. I descended to the hall that gets to the open space kitchen. I always wanted to see how it looks like. But patience, Rita! All at their time, I keep saying to myself.

            One day Annabelle showed me where the milk is in the fridge. All I have to do is go there, open the door and it is in front of my right hand. Although I can’t see, I can manage. “I can do this!” But when I reached for the bottle, surprise, is not there anymore. The one thing I must do is try to stand and grab hold of myself on the shelves of the refrigerator. “How hard can this be?” But then again, one wrong step and I could fall. I placed my hands on the seat handles and try to stand on my useless feet. But, instead of supporting me, my two feet refuse to collaborate, and the second thing I knew I was in free fall. I closed my eyes in fear and heard a worried voice calling my name...

-          My God, Rita, what are you doing?

I was expecting to heat the floor but instead, a pair of strong manly arms caught me just in time. Not only do I feel safe but I let myself abandoned in those arms, so close to his chest. My instinct was to thank his but instead, I buried my head near his heart, listening… I curled my hands around his neck pulling him closer. He did not resist, and let me enjoy him. This was only for a few seconds but for me, it felt like hours. I could hear his heartbeat going faster with every second I stood there in his embrace.  He did react to all this by placing his hands around my waist. I could feel his warmth through my nightgown. All of my body could.  This damn warmth was descending between my thighs leaving a sweet pain to gain me little by little. Without realizing what I was doing, like my body had a mind of its own, I raised my lips high enough for him to kiss me. Oh my God, how long I was yearning for his kiss. I wanted to know how those lips taste like, I wanted to feel all of his weight on me, devour me, whispering how much he wants me. I was waiting for that to happen, I almost felt his minty sweet breath on my face. “He is going to do it!” I was already trembling in his arms and I am sure he felt that because he tightened his embrace, letting his mouth wonder so close to mine that I could almost faint.

-          Are you alright, Miss Rita?

-          I was just…

-          You could have hurt yourself…

-          I am sorry I just wanted a glass of milk…

-          Here, let me help you!

He placed me so gently in my wheelchair that with his every move his touching becomes painful. Not physically but emotionally. A chill runs on my entire body when his warmth was no longer. Disappointment replaced desire. I wanted more. It was not his fault it was mine for feeling this way.

-          Thank you…

-          You are welcome. Now let me give you what you wanted. Warm milk was it?

-          Indeed, again thank you…

-          So, are you feeling better at my house?

-          I guess…

“With you gone most of the time I feel lonely.”

-          I know that I am not here most of the time, I am sorry…

“Bingo, Mr. Hauser!”

-          It's ok, I know you are a busy man…

-          Not that busy, but you know, there is an event coming so…

-          What kind of event?

-          Every year there is a gathering of the best musicians here in London. That is why I am here actually, among other things. This year we are raising money for sick children…cancer…

-          Oh my God…I feel sorry for those children.

-          I am too. I know we can’t buy them life but we do whatever we can. My friend Peter, who you will meet at the gathering, by the way, is organizing all this. 

-          I guess it's hard to…wait a minute! Me meeting who and when?

-          You, meeting Peter at the event, in about…3 weeks.

-          Are you saying…?

-          Yes, I am! I am inviting you, Miss Rita to accompany me to this charity ball.

-          But…

-          I will not take no for an answer. And, besides, we have three weeks to make you walk again.

This last sentence made me realize that my dream is one step away from being fulfilled.  I always told myself that I will do these things by the book. It is natural that I want to walk and see again. But now I have also a purpose to do it for. This man wants to help me. I am sure he has no hidden reasons just pure help. I am also aware of the hard times that will come. I have to lean on this man. He wants me on my two feet. When he enters the big doors of the event he wants me by his arm. I will do everything in my power to walk again.

-          When do we start?

I know my answer took him by surprise by the silent moment that followed.

-          Tomorrow night? It is ok for you?

-          It is perfect! And, Miron…

-          Yes?

-          Really, thank you!

-          You already said that…

-          I know but…it is a lot of effort you will have to put in…

-          Actually, the part with the effort is on you Miss Rita!

-          You know what I mean.

-          I do. It would be a pleasure for me, I mean it. Do you want me to help you get in your room?

-          Don’t worry, I can manage!

-          Ok, talk to you tomorrow Miss Rita.

I heard Miron’s footsteps moving away. I took my glass of milk in my room. Climbing into my bed is the hardest thing I have to do. I can hardly wait to begin my recovery.

Miron’s story

I just entered my room when millions of thoughts begun to make their way into my mind. How am I going to help her to walk again or to see again? I intend to hire the best physiotherapist in all London. And also bring a specialist to operate her and restore her vision. It is a bold plan and difficult but not impossible. And I will be with her all the way.

Just when I was about to go to bed…

-          Aaaaaaaaah, Pamelaaaaa, my God! Nooooooooo!

I jumped right out of bed and into her room. She was having a nightmare, one of many… She was calling for her sister. I reached her and grabbed her shoulders with my both hands and start to shake her a little, and then harder… She did not wake up. With every second she sank deeper into the dream and was more stressed. I could sense the terror that she is feeling right now. Drops of sweat are caressing her angelic face.  Seeing her like that it breaks my heart.

-          Rita, please wake up! You are having a nightmare. Rita, please…

Little by little she calmed down, opening her eyes.  The first instinct was crying. The second thing I know she embraced me with all of her force. She was sobbing in my arms and suddenly I felt the urge to hug her back. Which I did. I lift my hands and place them around her waist. One of them I let it there, the other raising it to her beautiful red fire hair. I was caressing her. Slowly she regained her composure and her breathing was back to normal. But I was still moving my palm on the length of her beautiful hair.

This was one of those moments. This human being was irresistible. Her scent, her touch, her everything was like a prayer to angels. I hold her so close and buried my head into her hair embracing me with its floral aroma. I was drunk with her purity, her beauty, with all of her.

I wouldn’t mind if the time stopped. If I just hold her like that for the rest of our days. Time feels like stopping when she is around.

I slowly let her go, cupping her face and look deep into her eyes even though she couldn’t see me. Still, I can admire the sparkle into her dark green gaze. She was crying frightened desperately seeking my support.

-          Calm down beautiful, I am here with you!

I tightened my embrace around her until I felt her relax and place her head against my chest. I just hold her like that for a while until she raised her gaze trying to find me.

-          Thank you!

Tears still roll on her cheeks melting on my palms.

-          It is ok now!

-          I have been having these nightmares since the day of my accident. I dream of me and a young girl, Pamela is her name, and how we try to avoid a car coming from the opposite direction. When I see the headlights everything goes dark, and I cannot wake up. What is this mean? Who is that Pamela girl?

I froze instantly hearing her questions. How am I supposed to answer that? I should know that this day would come. But, to be honest, I am not prepared to tell her…yet.

-          Miss Rita, you already know that you had that terrible accident. Unfortunately, your mind is recreating the whole scene in your dreams. It is your subconscious that is trying to cope.

-          And who is Pamela? Why does she appear in my dreams?

“Pamela was your little sister, beautiful!”

-          You should try to get some sleep. You are tired. We will discuss this in the morning over coffee, ok?

-          Ok then, maybe you are right. I am tired…

I helped her get back in bed placing her hair gently on the pillow.  She seems so fragile. A long day awaits me tomorrow.

Miron’s story

The next day I found myself walking to the studio to talk to Peter. I needed from him info about some doctor he knows, a physiotherapist that can help my girl. I definitely feel her with all my heart my one and only girl. My thoughts are invaded by her, by her face, by her way of being, of talking, of, even without seeing, the way she gazes at me. Because she is in my soul and with every breathe I take she goes deeper into it. Because I long for her, my mind is all the time filled with this woman’s existence. And now I also feel guilty for running from the house. I promised Rita a talk over coffee.

-          Hi Peter!

-          Hi to you too! Need something? Today was your day off…

-          Actually I do need some information about Dr. Stevens, the physiotherapist!

-          Oh, he …what do you want to know?

-          I’ll go directly to what I need. Is he on duty tonight?

-         

On duty as in...

-          I want him at my house tomorrow morning at 8 o’clock sharp! Do you think is possible?

-          I can call him.

-          You do that!

-          Let me guess, is for Miss Rita.

-          Of course is for her! Who did you think it was for?

-          Ok, ok, no need to turn sarcastic.

-          My bad! Call him now!

I raised my hands in acceptance and watch my friend Peter making the call. It only lasted two minutes and I have my appointment for tomorrow. Miss Rita is going to be thrilled.

-          Thank you, man!

-          Always a pleasure Miron! I am glad I could help. Really, this is very nice what you are doing.

-          I have promised her that she will regain at least her walking until this event we are attending.

-          I see. So you want to take her with you…

-          I am. And she is going to walk in that reception at my arm.

-          Amin! Now, if you are already here, you know you are going to perform right? The night of the event…

-          I know. But I don’t have the time right now, so if you will excuse me… today is my day off as I remember!

-          Miron, wait…

-         

See you!

I left the studio waving and smiling with a million meanings so Peter can choose from them. I was not going to stay for a second in this place. Miss Rita has to know what I have planned. My house was not that far so I walked. That could help me clear my mind. I was about to see and talk to her in a few minutes. I was like a schoolboy waiting to tell the lesson he learned. Only that I did not learn it and now I am going to be grounded. 

But when I get home what I was given to see. Miss Rita was standing by the pool, sunbathing. I felt my heart jump from my chest. With my ratting breath, I took a step back but then realise she couldn’t see me. She could feel my scent though. I allowed myself to admire this goddess from where I was standing. Even though she was lying on that chair I could take in her perfect curves, her inviting sinful breasts hidden in her floral motifs bra, and a perfect luring sight from her neck gap to her bikini line losing itself into a sweet warm place.

My mind and thoughts, they all went crazy. I feel like I am running out of air.

-          My Miron!

I jumped when I heard my name. It was Annabelle.

-          You scared me!

-          I bet I did! You were lost in this delicious view, weren’t you?

-          Who wouldn’t be?

-          Well, me, for starters. And maybe Peter…

-          I got it! I am the only one. How was she today?

-          She was calmer. We just talked a lot. I like her!

-          I am glad she has someone to talk to. Thank you, Belle!

-          No problem. So what did you do this morning? You suddenly disappeared.

-          I spoke to Peter to call Dr. Stevens.

-          You mean, the Dr Stevens!

-          The one and only!

-          Wow, that is great news. Rita will be nervous but happy. You are really helping her.

-          He is coming tomorrow morning at 8 AM.