CHAPTER 14

After sobbing for what seemed like an eternity, Singto stood up to wash his face. As he turned on the sink and cupped his hands to catch the cool water, his mind trailed back to what he has just done. He felt so much hurt and regret that he couldn’t even concentrate on what he was doing. He managed to splash the water onto his face without making a mess, but his eyes felt like they were stinging.

When he lifted his head slightly, he could see how puffy and red his green eyes were. They also seem to look sort of neon because of the number of tears shed. Whenever he cries this much, his eyes turn into a brighter shade of green then it already was. He went to touch the skin right below his left eye using the first three fingers on his left hand. It felt tight and rigid. He sniffed back any stray tears that were trying to come out, turned off the faucet, and left the bathroom with a heavy feeling tugging at his heartstrings.

As his body entered the bedroom, all he wanted to do was hide. Looking through his dresser, he found a baggy black hoodie, and even thought it was far too warm to dress this way, he’d much rather deal with the discomfort of being hot than face a reaction he’d get from the rest of the people who live here when they see his eyes.

Ignorance is bliss. Singto was going to use that motto to keep from the people here noticing the pain he is feeling. He doesn’t want to bother them, since as he has noticed this house is so warm and sheltered from emotional pain. He doesn’t want to be the reason to ruin that peace. Singto let the hoodie hug his boney body and sat on his bed with his body facing away from the bedroom dooe. He was preparing himself for Krist’s return.

It was now 15 minutes until 5 and Krist was already home. He decided to leave early today because for the last few minutes of his visit, Ken treated him the way you would to a son and he wanted to leave on a high note. After locking the door behind him, he rushed up stairs to take a shower. Since he ran all the way there and back, his clothes were drenched in sweat. He didn’t want to stay in dirty clothes for any longer than he already has, so he didn’t even waste any time to barge into his bedroom. But something stopped him just before he reached the bathroom door, which was located directly next to Singto’s bed.

He stared at Singto whose hood was up and eyes were staring deeply towards the ground. “Aren’t you hot wearing that?”

It took Singto awhile to respond, since everything around him was moving in slow motion. “No, I’m actually feeling cold.” Krist narrowed his eyes at that comment.

“You do realize it’s like over 80 degrees out, right?”

Singto froze. What is he supposed to say to someone when he’s feeling this way? The truth won’t come out, but his mind was too full to come up with some clever lie. So instead of saying anything, he simply shrugged his shoulders hoping that Krist will take that as a sign to leave him alone. Byt Krist didn’t. To Singto’s surprise he felt the bed sink as Krist sat close to him, way too close.

“Did something happen?” Krist asked with concern. He has realized how much he struggles with food and he was wondering if maybe what he ate for lunch made him sick.

“No, nothing happened. You should go and take a shower. That’s what you were planning on doing, right?” SIngto asked, feeling his body radiate from him and onto his own body. He tried his best to avoid any eye contact with Krist, because his eyes were still red from crying.

“Why are you trying to get rid of me? Are you hiding something?” This wasn’t food. Krist wasn’t taking the signs that Singto was trying so hard to give. He just wanted to be alone.

“No, I just… I’d rather be alone right now.” Finally, some of the truth came out.

Krist saw how Singto kept turning his head farther and farther away from him, almost like what he was hiding would be revealed if he saw his face. And without any warning, Krist pulled of the hood Singto had over his face, shielding his puffy-red eyes.

Panic washed over him at the possibility of Krist finding out what he has been doing since he was gone, and he immediately tried to cover his eyes with bot of his hands. But before he could even move, Krist grabbed his hands and pulled them so that he was forced to face him.

His usual bright green eyes were red with tear stained cheeks. “Why have you been crying?” Krist asked in the softest tone he could manage. Guild washed over him when he realized that he exposed him when he was clearly trying to hide it.

“It’s nothing serious, don’t worry about me.” He answered while rubbing his eyes and wiping his cheeks.

“No one just cries without a reason. What’s wrong?” Krist was beginning to really worry about Singto.

First, he avoids eating and when he did end up having something, he looked like he was going to be sick and seconds, he puts on a hoodie to cover the evidence that would show that he’s been crying, and by the looks of, he has been like this for most of the time Krist was gone. Normally, Krist wouldn’t even bat an eye when he saw someone crying, but he felt his chest ache as soon as Singto’s face was exposed. Maybe this is because he has put in a situation where he has to live with someone and so he naturally cares for them, but it feels like there’s more to it than that.

Krist genuinely cares about this guy. When Harvey told him that his new roommate has suffered a loss of both parents, he felt empathy for him. Something like that has never happened before and perhaps that is the real reason Krist is bothered by seeing Singto like this.

“I’m fine.” Singto answered with a fake smile.

“No, you’re not.” Their bodies were close enough that their knees were touching.

“You should go take a shower.” Singto answered in a hushed whisper. There was no strength left him in to be any louder than that.

“Okay.” Krist knew he needed to back off, at least for now.

It’s already bad enough that he acted without thinking and pulled of his hood. He doesn’t want to cross any more lines than he knows he has. So, as requested by Singto, he went into the bathroom and hopped into the shower with so many things running through his mind as the warm water engulfed him.