Chapter 7

What is your biggest fear?

......

A loud banging stirred me into wakefulness. I slowly peered to the open door then traveled to the officer holding a blinding light to my face. In an instant, I covered my eyes with both hands. The light was put away in response, "Morning sunshine! Have you cleared your head boy, eh?" I removed the protection from my face and stared blankly at the officer then raised my shoulders, acting cool as if nothing happened; like I wasn’t in hell just seconds ago.

"Do I get water officer? How long am I even here? It surely made me grow some wings, maybe even a halo. I'm banal now." I chuckled, getting a frown from the officer. "What's wrong man?"

"Move your ass up now, or I might think you want another night here," he threatened. "Besides, I don't think a night here would discipline someone your kind," he added shaking his head in disapproval.

"Of course, no man! I was just making a stupid joke! No need to do exaggerations." I said, hurriedly getting up. "Isolation certainly does wonder!"

"No more talking or else..." he didn't get to finish what he was saying, I put up a hand motioning a zipper to my mouth. "Then, let's walk."

I smiled nodding. I need to be out to perform my acts and as weird as it may seemed, being with the other criminals felt safer than being alone with myself.  The monsters hiding inside my head doesn’t bother me when I’m with someone.

I was led to an unfamiliar hallway by two officers: one walking at my back and the other in my vanguard. I rounded my head to memorize every nook and cranny of the place. Housing security risk prisoners, there was no available map of the second and third level of the prison. It was up to me to make up a mental drawing in my brain.

Without question, I rode in an elevator with the officers. Instead of going up, it went down. With a ding, the elevator opened up and I was passed on to two other officers already waiting outside the door while the two with me was left inside. We walked quietly in the heavy lighted hallway, the cameras were doubled and I felt prying eyes on my back, giving me goosebumps. The atmosphere unexpectedly changed once I stepped my feet outside that lift, the air felt heavy around me and the uneasiness was growing immensely. The sensation of danger lurking in the corners made my knees wobble in unforeseen fear.

Doors with tiny windows started to appear as we travelled further. I bit blood into my lip, trying to keep my eyes straight. The trespassers were knocking on my door, I refused to let them in. I needed to be at my A-game and the scene before me was taking a great toll in my sanity. It took all the effort to make my legs move on their own.

I hadn’t notice that we stopped; a door was awaiting me. It beeped open with the I.D. on the officer. I grew agitated, cold beads of sweat formed in my forehead.

Not fucking again.

"In," ordered one of the officers. I treaded inside with heavy feet. "Enjoy solitary." I was pushed down to my knees as the door beeped again, closed this time. “You’ll be up soon, make sure to recuperate.” Laughter echoed through their wake.

It took me a whole minute to find my voice, “No! Get me out of here!” I shouted in desperation clawing at the metal door. I should be thankful; it wasn’t like the room I spent the night in. It resembled a small hotel room minus the lush furniture. But the whiteness of the space screamed horrors to me. “I need to get out! Don’t put me here!”

I need to get out of here!

I should have been prepared, it was something, I was expecting the most to happen.

“What is your biggest fear?” I looked up at the grey eyes of the voice to the pieces of papers in his hands.

“Why?” I questioned rather than answering, I was getting tired of this game. I knew the government was only taking leverage.

The guy raised his shoulders, “Would you just give me a simple answer? And please stop questioning my questions.”

“Why?” He gave me a snarled look. “That question, isn’t it unfair to know the deepest darkest secret of my brain? Knowing my fear is knowing my weakness. That is an obvious fact, am I wrong?” After I had been through, I would never trust them. It was a mistake; I have done in the past and I don’t intend to make a repeat.

The guy cleared his throat, reached for the glass of water in front of him. “I—” he started but abruptly stopped. “I know it’s hard but we need to know these details to assure your survival.”

I laughed tauntingly, “That’s a lot of bullshit. Why don’t you just ask my shrink if you really want to know? It’s simpler that way.”

“Come on…It’s procedure you know about this…Let’s just get this over and answer the questions.”

I sighed, “Do you have an idea about my condition? About the complexity of it? I tend to fear everything.” I paused diverting my eyes to the white wall behind my interrogator’s back. “When I was little, I saw my father’s lifeless body on his bed being feasted with large maggots. I thought it was the scariest thing in the world. I grew to fear death…” I dragged my words; it was a task to speak of the truth. “But recent events made me realize that there were far mor scarier things than death itself.”

“What is it?” he was trying persuade me.

“The eerie silence of being alone inside a white box. Not knowing the details outside, allowing the buried past surface before my very own eyes, like a phantom who wants to devour you.”