Into the Hollowness (3)

I woke up into a hospital ward. There was an IV in my hand. I looked with empty eyes at the ceiling remembering what happened. Firstly, I was tortured for a day and night. Secondly, a woman looking almost like me told me some fairytale about reliving my life. Of course, I totally distrusted her words and gave my consent because I thought I was in delirium. Before I realised I was back in the past a year before my life was ruined. On the surface, I tried to preserve my image during the banquet but my emotions were a mess.

Thankfully, being in the hospital gave me the opportunity to calmly reflect on everything until now. If this really was my second chance, I would use it to the fullest. For instance, I, if I was correct this time in my past life, was crucial. Back then I chose to stay in Scotland with my dad because his collaboration with Leonardo would take months. I thought it was a great chance to become close to the man I was going to fall in love.

During that period I only liked him superficially. He was intelligent, charming and masculine. Conversations with him were never dull and he had such a cute side to himself he rarely showed which evoked the desire in me to spoil him. Everything went smoothly until half a year ago when he became cold and I was already in love. I didn't realise how much I treasured the moments when he treated me wholeheartedly and shared his worries with me. So, when he stopped, I wanted all that back. I wanted again to be close with each other, to be able to rely on him and he on me. However, things would never become the same. He went to Italy and never contacted me. I followed him like a total love-struck fool, asking what the reason was he distanced himself. He answered me blandly there was not such a thing as he never considered himself being close to me. I was shaken. My feelings weren't reciprocated. He was just courtesy.

Nevertheless, I didn't think of giving up. I was going to make him fall in love with me. Little did I knew that love couldn't be forced. But, with all naivety, I lived in the illusion that if I try hard enough if I show him how sincere I am, how I care for him, he will return my feelings. I chuckled to myself. What an idiot I was? During my reminiscences, the door opened and my parents entered. They looked anxious.

''I'm sorry I made you worry.'' My mother shook her head telling me amiably.

''Sweetie, don't beat yourself up. Of course, like your parents, we should care for your health.''

''Yes, dear. Come on, said to mummy and daddy what happened to you? You looked fine the whole evening.''

''Maybe is low blood pressure.'' Instantly the door opened and the family doctor walked in. He greeted us politely and looked at me quizzically.

''Miss MacCarner, the results of your tests are out. Everything looks fine except the level of acetylcholine. This is a chemical that functions in the brain and usually is realised when one sees blood. A person goes through psychological shock and the end result often is fainting. Did something stressful happen recently?''

Three pairs of eyes glued themselves to my face expecting my next words. I swallowed nervously.

''I don't remember such a thing.'' I answered weakly and the doctor raised his brows astonished.'' I didn't see blood.'' I tried not to think about what happened the day before. There was lots of blood. My body was soaked in it.

''Doctor Reed, doesn't she look pale?'' My mum asked.

''I'm fine. I only need some more rest.'' I lied smoothly.

''Well, your daughter is physically fine. She needn't stay at the hospital and can recuperate at home. But, I'm a little bit worried about her psychological condition. If she had been through anything traumatic, she could have psychological shock again if triggered.'' My parents looked at each other and waited for the doctor to close the door.

''Luo, do you hide something from us?'' My mother asked suspiciously.

''No. I don't what happened. Honestly. But I will be fine.'' The indisputable fact was that mothers know their children better so my mum didn't truly believe me. However, there was nothing that happened to me this period of time in the past and she couldn't guess what could've hurt me. Next second, her phone ranged. Her brows creased unpleasingly, as the caller wasn't a person she fancied.

''What do you want?'' She spoke in Chinese which surprised both dad and me. After that, I calmed down guessing who might've been. ''You can no more order me around as you please. Don't you forget that you disowned me?'' She sneered coldly. A few seconds later her face became pale. ''I'll ask her but if she refuses you won't use your dirty tricks on me or her.'' She hanged the phone and searched my dad's gaze which was solemn.

''What does your father want?'' He asked, not masking his displeasure.

''He wants Luo and I to go in China. My nephew is getting engaged.''

''I want to go.'' Last time in the other timeline when my mother went to China I refused to accompany her. I didn't know I would never have a chance to see her again. Something happened then forcing my mother not to come back to Scotland.

''Luo, better stay with your dad. Your grandfather is strict and stern. His family hardly get along with him. And you are such a sensitive girl. I don't want to be hurt by his words and actions.'' She was exceptionally worried. I felt like she hid something she didn't want to be known from me.

''Don't worry. Nothing bad will happen. Besides, I want to visit my cousin. It's been thirteen years. I'm curious what person he is.'' This wasn't the truth. Right now, I wasn't interested in him. All I wanted was to be far away from Scotland and Leonardo. He would be here for six months working with my dad. Previously, during that time I became friends with him. Well, I thought we were. However, this time I would go to China. The doctor's words repeated in my head. I had a traumatic experience. I was beaten, then travelled back in time. Something in my mind definitely changed. I needed to figure out how severe it was. And how deep I was wounded.