Chapter Seven - Unrequited (c)

“Hm?” I turned my head to her in haste as I noticed as well.

“Are you all right? You’re not standing up yet,” she continued.

I began to stand up. “Everything is fine,” I started to brush off any dirt and grass that gas attached itself to my clothes.

“Are you sure?” She doesn’t seem to be believing my response that there’s nothing wrong.

I just gave her a light smile and nodded. I don’t want to open my mouth because I might say something to offend her.

We headed to our horses and began our trot back to the bakery. I decided to keep my silence during the whole trip back. I fear that I might ask why she has no response to what I said and I don’t know how I will react to her possible response.

“Robert?” she called my attention.

My brows perked as I turned to look at her.

“Why are you so quiet? Is there something that’s bothering you?” her brows knitted in the middle of her forehead, confused. I could see that she was deeply concerned with me. But how can I tell her that there is something that’s bothering me?”

“No, nothing,” I shook my head, my voice in a low volume but still enough for her to hear.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes,” I replied casually.

No, Laura, I’m beyond the feeling of being okay. You didn’t give me any response when I told you that having you near is one of the things that has put a smile on my face. Couldn’t you say anything else on the matter than just to smile at me?

A while later, we arrived at the back of the bakery where she keeps Leo. I hopped down Lady as she let Leo rest in his stable. After that, we started to walk towards the front of the bakery.

“Thank you for the stroll and stories, Robert. I really enjoyed it.”

Can’t she tell that I’m trying to pacify a storm inside of me? Am I not sending enough signs for her to realize that?

“Well, I guess this is where we part ways,” she turned to me as we arrived in front of the bakery. “Thank you again, Robert,” she repeated, turning around and making her way back to the shop.

My mouth blurted, “Are you not--” I stopped myself before I could even continue.

My sudden phrase stopped her from her tracks, causing her to turn around and walk back toward me. “Is there something you want to say, Robert?”

“I just…” I continued to fight the urge to speak, the force that’s pushing me to the edge. It’s urging me to tell her what I’ve been feeling ever since we left the fields.

“Robert, you know that you can tell me anything,” she looked earnestly into my eyes.

As I looked into her eyes, I had more courage to stop myself from speaking. She looked so fragile in the sense that if she heard one negative thing, she would break into a million pieces. I know myself; I know that I can be offensive at times and it’s something she doesn’t deserve.

I sighed, lowering my head. “It’s nothing,” I looked back at her, “You can go back to work now. I’ll be off.”

“Robert, there’s something that you’re not telling me,” she crossed her arms, examining my body language. “Why are you stopping yourself from being heard? You know you can always tell me what’s running in your mind.”

Not wanting to talk about it, I quickly turned around and jumped onto Lady. I need to get away from her in order to prevent myself from saying something that could hurt her feelings.

“Robert, what’s happening to you?” she persisted, wanting to know what’s wrong.

“Nothing’s happening, Laura. You said you needed to return to the shop,” I said. “Now that I’ve returned you safely, I need to go back home.”

“That’s not the reason why you’re acting strange,” she responded.

“I don’t have time to discuss what you think, Laura. I need to go home,” I replied. I punched myself in my mind for the way I just talked to her.

She moved away from Lady and me, taken aback on how I answered her. This is why I don’t want to talk anymore. If this conversation will continue, I’m afraid it will be the end of our beginning.

“Have a safe trip home, Robert,” she sneered as she turned her back on me. She rushed back into the shop without giving me a second look.

I sighed as I closed my eyes, shaking my head out of disappointment from what I just did. She didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. But I have to return home now before dark completely falls.

As soon as I arrived at the stables, I hopped off Lady and let her loose inside the stables for a while. I kicked a nearby bucket with all of my anger, water splashed all around the hay inside the stable.

“AAAHH!” I screamed to relieve some of the frustration that has built up inside of me all the way home. As I looked back on my previous scenario with Laura, I never felt so disappointed in myself. I handled that situation very badly.

I know she didn’t mean to cause me any pain or anger. It wasn’t her fault that I got angry. I was overthinking everything and because of that, I treated her in such a way that I don’t even know myself. I was raised to be a person with manners. That shouldn’t have happened.

Lady went on and helped herself with the stack of apples on the side as I sat down on a bench, my head slowly sunk into my hands. I let out a sigh of desperation as I knew that she probably hates me by now.

I then heard footsteps coming to the stables. I looked up and saw Nana Olsa, carrying a bucket.

“Robert, dear,” a confused yet concerned look on her face. “Were you the one who screamed?”

“Nana, I rushed over to her. I peeked through the bucket and saw that it was full of soil. “Let me help you with this, Nana,” I took the bucket from her and walked back into the stables.

“Oh, thank you, my boy. Just put it on the side of the entrance, please,” she sat down on a nearby chair.

“Why were you carrying this, Nana? Was there no one to help you?” I settled the bucket on the right side of the kitchen entrance.

“Your mother requested for me to tend to her roses,” she answered as I head back to the bench beside her. “You know how much she loves her roses and she only entrusts them to me so technically, I did tend to them on my own.”

“Would you like for me to get you something to drink?” I offered.

She giggled. “No, dear boy, I will be fine. I’ll fetch some for myself later. However, you didn’t answer my previous question,” she draped her skirt over her legs as she carefully crossed them.

“What question?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t ask again.

She stared at me, giving me a smile that’s telling me she knows I’m hiding something from her. “Something happened to you, am I right?” she started.

Although I know I can’t hide anything from her, I have to use the very best of my abilities to hide my dilemma from her. “I don’t understand where your question is coming from, Nana.”

She gave a light chuckle. “Robert, if you think you can hide the fact that you’re completely distraught right now, you’re mistaken. I know how you act when you’re fine and when you’re carrying something with you.”

“No, really, Nana, I’m completely fine,” I lied but I think my body language is giving everything away. “This is why I’m so confused on what you’re telling me.”

“Robert,” she looked at me, her gaze intensified but with love still. She’s definitely trying to make me say it. “Are you sure you’re going to lie to me? Even to yourself?”