Chapter Four - Fiasco

I could hear a calm conversation as I approached the dining hall. As I got closer, one of the guards was quick to ask, “Shall we announce you, Your Highness?”

“There’s no need for that,” I replied as I opened the door without warning. My family was quick to look in my direction. My sudden entrance immediately put them all to silence. Their eyes wide open out of surprise, their movements paused. If this is the kind of response that I get every time I enter a certain room, bursting through doors would be a delight.

Like in any other feast, Mother is the first one I approach. “Hello, Mother,” I greeted, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

She giggled in response. “Hello, my heart,” she cupped my face with one hand, looking up to meet my gaze.

“Dearest Elizabeth,” I smiled as I turned to my sister, laying a gentle peck on her cheek.

“Hello, little brother,” she smiled.

I wasn’t quick to notice it at first but there were no spare chairs in between Mother and Elizabeth, the place where I usually sit. “So, where do I sit?” I asked them, still carrying a smile on my face.

“Right next to your father,” Mother replied, pointing to a prepared meal in front of her that sat on the right side of James.

Splendid! Just the opposite of what I wanted to happen for today’s lunch. I now have to bear a whole hour of suffering beside him. I took a deep breath in as I walked towards my seat. As soon as I reached it, I pulled it out and immediately sat down.

“You didn’t come with us to visit the orphanage,” James started a conversation with me as he cut through his meat.

“Yes, I made that decision,” I replied, spreading my napkin onto my lap and grabbed my utensils right after.

“May I ask where you’ve been?”

“I was just in the garden. I needed some time alone after a long hour of work,” I answered, digging into the food that was prepared for me.

“I asked Gonzalo where you were and he said you weren’t in the castle grounds,” he said before he took another bite.

Here we go, I thought to myself, trying to ignore him in order to appreciate the taste of this delicious meal right in front of me. I thought it was just going to be silent between the two of us but he just really started another one for us two.

“Tell me where you really were while we were gone,” he then turned his whole body to my direction.

I took two quick bites from my plate. “My whereabouts when you’re not here is none of your business.”

“I command you to--”

“Don’t ‘command’ me,” I interrupted him, looking him straight in the eye. “You have no right to do so. I’m not one of your servants.”

He protested without hesitation, “I have the right to ask where you’re planning to go. I am your father.”

I chuckled as I took a sip of wine. “Since you did say that you’re my father, the way you tell me what I should do is like I’m one of the people who work for you. That’s not how a father should ask his child if he’s truly concerned,” I said, struggling to even make a simple slice from my steamed fish. My hands started to shake as I held back the rage within me. I even controlled my breathing because I don’t want to let out deep breaths like an angry bull.

Silence came upon us once more. Joining my family for meals such as this is bad enough. What made it worse is forcing me to sit beside James. My mother and sister are fully aware that my relationship with James isn’t on the best of terms. Why do they keep pushing me to James when clearly, he doesn’t want me around him?

I then heard James let out a sigh. “Son… I’m trying my best to get along with you, to understand you,” he spoke, not in a calmer manner. “This never-ending argument between us will destroy our family.”

“Well, you need to try harder, Your Majesty,” I replied as I continued to stuff food into my already full mouth. “And please, don’t call me your son. You were the one who pushed us away as your children.”

Those words came out like poison from my mouth. I didn’t care if it hurts but for some reason, I hated myself for even letting those words escape my lips. However, that is the truth on how he has treated us and now, all of a sudden, he wants to act as if he’s been a good father to Elizabeth and me?

I could sense Mother and Elizabeth looking at me out of shock but James needed to hear it. He never showed us any kind of affection as he claimed that he wanted us to be independent. He wanted us to be prepared in case he would die suddenly. He should’ve made an effort to connect with me as a child. I needed him during that time but he was never there for me.

I wiped my mouth after I took one last bite, not wanting to finish my food again. “That’s all for me today.”

“Robert, please,” Mother gently tried to stop me from leaving.

“I’ve eaten enough today, Mother. I still have some reports to finish,” I replied formally. “If you need anything from me, I’ll be in my study.” I pushed my chair and stepped out. After my bow, I walked out of the dining hall as they all sat there in silence.