PART 1: CHAPTER 9

"Mum are you ok now?" my daughter asked, her sleepy eyes were almost shutting down.

She was a smart girl and I loved it but in times like this her being smart made things more difficult for me.

"Yes princess, mummy is more than OK, Daddy apologized to mummy for his rude behavior on Tuesday and mummy has forgiven him. Mummy and Daddy are so happy together now." I lied. 

I wasn't a very good actress but I was a good liar. Marrying Cletus thought me that you need to learn how to think of a lie in less than a second as your life may or may not depend on it.

I tickled her but she didn't laugh. She sat up on the bed and pecked me then she proceeded to give me a Bear hug . "Mummy is an Angel." She said stressing the word Angel, laying emphasis on it. I could feel tears well up in my eyes. I swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay. 

"And you are an Angel too. A sweet angel." I teased, trying to sound as light hearted as it was possible. This time she laughed half heartedly. I placed her head on my thighs and stroked her hair until she fell asleep.

After she fell asleep I covered her with her blanket and watched her while she slept for some minutes, before I left for my room.

I stood in front of my room for over ten minutes afraid to go in. I couldn't still believe how sour my marriage had become that I was so afraid to go into my own matrimonial bedroom. I was afraid of my own husband like he was some kind of killer.

What kind of life is this? I desperately wanted to find out. God save your daughter. I prayed silently.

After my short prayer I finally found enough courage to go in. I took in a deep breath as I opened the door to the room.

My heart was practically in my mouth.

I stood at the doorway for a while afraid to go in. After gathering enough strength, I closed the door behind me and walked in.

Cletus was sitting on the bed his back turned to me. He was on only boxers and I could already imagine his hardened cock. 

I walked in silence to my own side of the bed hoping to get some sleep in peace. I've never before hoped for peace as much as I did now.

I had taken my bath on time and changed to my pink nightgown. Now all I needed to do was fall asleep. That can't be so hard right?

Cletus was backing me and he had ignored me completely, but my heart could not stop racing. With him you never knew what to expect. He was as unpredictable as soccer.

He had come home earlier than before and had actually eaten dinner with us,  that was without saying a word to either Ezinne or me.

I was still trying to pull the duvet up so I could go in when Cletus turned around.

"Take off your night gown and come sit on my thigh." He ordered with a straight face. His appearance screamed be careful and obey peacefully. 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I took off my nightwear letting it fall down my legs.

Taking baby steps I walked to him silently and sat on his thighs.

"You look so beautiful," he whispered kissing my arm. He didn't wreak of alcohol, still I was afraid and shaking. I played with my fingers scared of looking at him, scared of the monster he had become. He stroked my hair and I felt nauseated.

I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare with the boogy man and he was about to kiss me. 

I knew I shouldn't have been feeling this way. I loved him but I just couldn't help myself. I hated him as much as I loved him or even more.

He has hurt me so much this week I wasn't willing to have sex with him at least for now, but refusing him would lead to him beating me and I couldn't take anymore violence this week.

I could feel him smirk as he put his large, cold, hands on the back of my neck, bending my lips to his. He kissed me, first lightly, then more urgently, his tongue claimed my mouth, but I didn't kiss him back I couldn't kiss him back. My mind was blank and it controlled my actions.

I couldn't think or react to his desire for me. I was scared, angry, frustrated and disgusted. 

Normally I would want this but not today. Not after what he did to me on Tuesday. He still hasn't apologized for it.

When he noticed how still I was he pulled me up, pushing me to the wall. His lips claimed mine again his tongue inside mine, my hips tilted against his, my breasts against his chest. My whole body was sending a message that was undeniable.

"I do not want this." It was a message he heard but a message he didn't want to acknowledge.

It was in my whole body language that I didn't want to have sex with him at least not today but he chose to ignore it.

I tried to push him away gently. My hands were on his chest pushing him away slowly. But then he caught hold of my hands and pushed it down. He held it behind my back as he started to kiss Me again.

His tongue fluttered against mine and his hands went deep in my hair. I used to yearn for this moment like a baby yearned for her mother but right now I dreaded this it like dying.

"Stop please," I begged in his kiss but he didn't listen. Tears were beginning to fall from my eyes. I tried to push him away I yearned to, but he held my hands tightly behind me. My small hands against his was a battle already won before it began.

He pulled me against him and nibbled at my chin, my ear, touching my face with his fingertips, sighing, whispering, "You feel so good." 

"Please let me go Cletus I don't want to, not today." I begged, sobbing.