PART 1: CHAPTER 4

By the look on her face I could tell She wasn't asking me a question, she was informing me of a fact. I didn't see concern but worry, worry for me. 

She looked just like me, a little version of me. 

I used to be slim before but after I gave birth to her I put on some weight but I wasn't fat, just plump and round. My breast were fuller now and my waist rounder. 

I had stretch marks on my legs hands and stomach and Cletus didn't like it at all. 

Because of him I have tried my best to remove them using homemade methods but nothing I did worked.

Cletus never gave me money even to go to market, he does that himself. So I was too broke to buy any cream to help wipe them out. 

Luckily I was naturally fair so I didn't need cream to help maintain my light skin. If not I would have been so dark considering that I didn't have money to by any cream for myself.

Funny enough people thought that since my husband worked in an oil company I had it all. 

I chuckled thinking about this. My daughter smiled thinking I was happy.  

I can assure you that it is quite hard to pretend to my daughter so I always found something to distract myself from it, and that something was usually just thinking and thinking.

"Oh daddy came back home immediately you slept. He was very sad that he didn't come home when you were awake. He said he loves you and he kissed you goodnight." I finally replied, hating myself for lying as the words came out of my mouth.

That has been a part of my duty since I married Cletus lying to cover up his wrongdoing. Whether it was to my friends or to the world and now even to my daughter. Wherever I went to I was leaving a long track of lies behind me and it was all for Cletus.

The only friend that knew a little of what I was going through was Gozie and that's because she has been my friend since I returned to Nigeria. She was the only one that stood by me through the drama with my family and she remained my friend all through the years.

Sadly, now I even hid most things away from her so she won't think me stupid even though I was. I was very stupid.

After dressing Ezinne up for school I carried her to the dining. 

We both sat down on our usual sits,

while we prayed in turns for the food and for a newday.

Ezinne wasted no time to start eating, she was a heavy eater. That was exactly why she was plump and round like me.

I ate like a bird unlike her. I couldn't afford to gain any more weight.

She had a good height for her age and her cheeks were plump and beautiful. Hugging her felt like you were hugging a round, beautiful teddy.

Some of the Mother's in my church, and also some teachers in her school, praised me always for keeping her healthy and beautiful. It made me very happy. 

Being a good mother was to me the biggest of my priorities. My daughter was one of the reasons why I couldn't leave Cletus. I needed her to grow up with a father no matter how abusive he was to me.

"Mummy this food is very delicious." She purred. "Yum, yum."

"Thank you, but Eat slowly Ezinne nobody is taking the food away from you." I cautioned her. I hit her spoon with mine so that some of the extra rice on it fell down to the plate. She was packing weigh too much food on her spoon and I didn't want her to choke on it.

"Yes mummy," She obeyed. 

She stopped swallowing the rice and started chewing. She also stopped filling the spoon to the brim. I smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up. I Loved her so much and I would die and kill for for her any day. 

Just when I was about taking a sip of water Cletus came downstairs. He was looking so handsome in a grey suit that I choked on my water.

I started coughing and I immediately had to drop the cup. Ezinne ran to my side and caressed my back.

"Mummy sorry." She kept saying until I finally stopped coughing.

Cletus looked at me disdainfully hissing. He didn't even bother telling me sorry. It was like he was okay with me choking.

I felt very sad about this but chose to ignore it. After all I was already used to his callous attitude towards me. It wasn't a new thing.

He took his sit at the other edge of the dining table without saying a word to either me or to Ezinne even though we were both sitting at his right hand side. 

The stairs was behind the dining and the kitchen opposite. I left the kitchen door open just in case Cletus requests for something extra like meat or salt.

"Daddy good morning." Ezinne greeted but he didn't answer. He nodded, then looked at me in anger.

"Am I going to have to beg you first before you serve my food or don't you have common sense!" He roared.

I jumped up from my sit in fear. "So..sorry." I stuttered.