Chapter 4 : Bounded by Virtue

Ella:

He pulled me towards him against the door and looking in my eyes asked cheekily, “What do you think I'm doing?”

He starts kissing my shoulder all the way up to my neck, tickling my senses. His hands start grazing around my back and slide all the way down to grab my ass. By now, his lips had reached for mine, kissing fervently as if he was running out of time.

I could smell the onion bagel which he normally has from the Bagels bakery around the corner. I tried to kiss him right back but I just couldn’t seem to. His tongue was trying to push past my lips to explore my mouth further but my jaw just jammed shut refusing to give him access.

His fingers had started toying with the buttons of my blouse. I felt his hard erection jutting at me between my thighs and my skirt was raised all the way up to my waist.

“It’s almost 9 am now, people will start coming to the office. I don’t want to be caught like this Joe” I whispered nervously to him.

He replied, “ Oh c’mon Ella, we haven’t done it even once since we started dating” and continued to kiss me. Breathing heavily he tried to reassure me saying “I know you’re a virgin, I shall be gentle baby, I promise”

Ever since we started dating, we would kiss occasionally outside the office in cafes and places where I knew my step-mum or sisters would never visit. Else they would turn my already miserable life into a living hell.

Joe would always try to make out with me and I would give in a couple of times but I always stopped him when his hands went inside my pants. I wanted Joe to be my charming prince, to marry and rescue me from my extended family, not just have casual sex and walk away from each other.

He carried me over to the back of the room and held me against the rack of files. He frisked his hands over my breasts pressing them like he was kneading the dough for making pasta. I almost started laughing thinking about it.The very next moment his fingers pushed my underwear aside and rubbed me hard repeatedly and I felt “NOTHING”

This was the first time a guy had ever touched me down there. I really loved Joe with all my heart. How could I possibly feel “NOTHING”?

I have never explored myself ever down there because I was always so scared. My friends would talk about how they would experience multiple orgasms in their sexual escapades. I had read in all of those romantic novels that such acts of love make the body feel things they have never experienced before. 

Maybe this is how it was supposed to be or perhaps, I was incapable of feeling anything down there. For me, love was more than just sex. There’s chemistry and intuition, and I felt like he was rushing into something that I had treasured for so long.I wanted it to be special, and not lose it like this in some dusty office file room.

The sound of the zipper sliding down from Joe’s trousers brought me back to reality. “Oh my god, what am I going to do?”