#8

Silence unleashed itself in the room, as Majida kept looking at Fadwa unable to protest or add more to her words. She knew what Fadwa told her is the truth wether she would keep denying it for the rest of her live, it's as rigid as a rock seated at the shore of an ocean, nothing in the world would break it, not even the roars of the ocean.

She softened her hands on Fadwa's and more tears began gushing out of her eyes. "I just wish we can that fact, Addah Fadwa. He doesn't deserve us, he deserves nothing good in life. I wish sometimes we can erase our names under his and write Ammi's. We are worthy of a father much better than him, what is he to our lives rather than burden, pain and tears that have no time of stopping? When are we going to stop his torture on us? Most especially, Ammi, she deserves a good life."

Fadwa looked at her without being able to utter a word, what she had said what was had never crossed Fadwa's mind not even for a second, but now; she might think of this. Ammi deserved a good life, a life with nothing in it rather than being loved and happiness. But what she's gotten for herself was sometimes that scared the word 'happiness'. One couldn't see her hidden beauty because a frown almost adorned her face, even when she smiled; it was nothing but a fake one. What was her fault because Allah gave her the girls as the gift of her life? And even when she gave birth to a bo... no, she couldn't go back to that memory.

She closed her eyes and opened them together with her tears, she so much hated the life she is living. She hated waking up every day with the fear of seeing her mother being beaten mercilessly by her father and calling them names just because they came out as girls. Did he proved otherwise of his habits when he had the male child? Fadwa groaned at that.

"I concur, Ammi deserves a good life, Majida. She deserves to be in a happy home, a place where she would wake up everyday without no fear of being abused physically and emotionally. She deserves a place where she can relax at night without no worries of what to eat the next morning because she has a husband that seems just a name and acts nothing of his..." she was cut off by Ammi, whom had being hearing all that they said and decided to cut her off because she could never let the hatred of Baffah bloom in their hearts.

"That's enough, Fadwa. I've always warned you to stop saying these words towards your father, he's your father and has done what no amount of money could buy to you on earth." Ammi sat down beside them and put the tray she transferred the food Fadwa came with into, she motioned for them to eat; and they compiled.

"Ammi, what has he ever done to us? I can't make mention of a day he makes something close to happy or neutral feeling in my heart, it has always been pain." Majida groaned and brought her filled hand to her mouth, she took in the first bite.

"Do you what he has done to you that nothing could buy? He gave you a name. By name, I don't mean your names, no; he protects you from the word: bastards. If he wasn't married to me legally, you all couldn't bear the name Mamman Jalo. Be it he was your father but out of wedlock. He provides you shelter..." and she closed her eyes, regretting that she had brought the issue herself, and it reminded her, just some months left before their rent fee is due.

"Which shelter, Ammi? It's his house for god sake, but he makes you pay for rent every year. What about it? We should be thankful for it as well?" In these kinds of situations, it's only Majida that had the emotional strength of saying whatever it is eating her up.

"Majida, it's enough. You're sounding like you're criticizing Ammi, like she was at fault for marrying him in the first place. Why don't you calm your horses and enjoy the meal? You haven't even asked me about my work, the kind of boss I have or anything, busy worrying about we all can't change." Fadwa smiled as she was lucky enough to divert the focus of their discussion, they ate while she told them about her first day at work, how the house looked, even the paintings Fadwa described them for them.

"What of your boss, how does he look like?" A curious Sabeehah asked, looking attentively at Fadwa.

Fadwa gulped down a lump in her throat and looked at Sabeehah with a smile. "Let me see, I know I'm so god at description, I might do justice to how he looks." It was supposed to be an inner talk, but she didn't know she voiced it out and none in her family pointed it out.

"You've always said we should trust you, and we trust you good enough to know you will describe him perfectly fine as you've described his house, paintings, even the way pillows were kept in the house. Go on." Majida smiled mischievously and patted Fadwa's shoulders, eager to hear how he looked, that dope house would never have an ugly owner, would it?

Fadwa smiled and spoke, "He walks with a gait able to put the heroes into shame. Rigid like an elephant. He stands 6'6 and shy away with a broad chest that scares off his everyone looking at him. His hair is a combination of brown and black, which makes it so hard to decipher the exact colour; curly and dangling on his forehead.

He has eyes that stares back at people with pale blue orbs even the morning sky would envy; squinty in shape. He has almost touching eyebrows that looks scary and a long chisel nose that stands proudly just above his shamelessly pink lips. With a beard running down from his cheek bones down below his lips. Majida, I can't remember everything about him, this is all I've looked at for today."

She felt herself being hugged tightly by Majida as she chuckled. "Adda Fadwa you're an expert when it comes to description Ya Allah! You need to see more tomorrow, like his complexion, his fingers, the texture of hair, as in everything. Are you sure he's Nigerian, wait, I won't jump into conclusion until tomorrow."

Fadwa chuckled and broke their hug, "Majida you're something else, I'll make sure to look at all you've asked tomorrow," she said and took Sabeebah on her shoulders, laying her down on the bed. She knew Majida as the talking type and always wanted to know everything, she wasn't even surprised because she knew this would happen, and she planned to take her black veil tomorrow before her attention get back to it.

"Since you've all prayed, ate and talked a little, go to bed. Fadwa, I know you must be tired and would love some sleep." Ammi said and walked out of the room, Fadwa had noticed how uneasy she looked since the last statement that was made by Majida because she turned their focus of talking. What can she do to make things right? She wondered.

●

It was past midnight, and under hypnosis, Fadwa could hear words being raised, and belt being splashed. She woke up from her sleep and looked beside her, that's when she saw Majida and Sabeebah peacefully sleeping, but Ammi wasn't there. She prayed it wasn't what she was expecting. She prayed he wasn't inebriated again and he was dropping it all on their Ammi, she felt her knees going weak.

She stood up from their mattress and moved to the door, that's when she heard Ammi's crying voice speaking at Baffah, and still the sound of his belt hadn't stopped deafening the earshot of Fadw. She began crying.

"Mamman, know that a day would come that you will surely regret all you've done to me and my daughters but then; it would be too late to cry when the head is cut off..." Even though be was beating her, her voice was as still low as the whisper of the wind.

Fadwa heard his roaring voice and fought the urge to go for Ammi, because she knew Ammi wouldn't be happy with that. 

"How dare you, Fatima? How dare you call me a drunkard and a shame to your useless daughters? How dare you accuse me of physically abusing you?!" He roared and Fadwa heard more slashing of the belt on whose body she loved the most in her life. She chuckled, a bitter chuckled she felt her chest being squeezed.

What was he doing then? Was he romantically caressing her that he's even denying physically abusing her and wanted her to change her words while his belt was everywhere on her body? What was wrong with her Baffah? Where had Ammi gone wrong that he choose to make their lives a living hell with no space left for happiness?

She was carried away that she hadn't heard the words they shared until he finally let go of Ammi and she stood up to leave. "You'll watch my daughters take me out of here to somewhere serene and safe, somewhere I can find happiness and it'll fill my lungs. My daughters will surely avenge on me. Someday, and the day would surely come; just watch and see."

Fadwa practically ran to their mattress and lay down, closing her eyes with her wrapper to avoid Ammi from seeing how tears were fighting which one to come down first on her cheeks. She would surely make Ammi's wish come true, she will avenge for her in any way possible.

She heard as Ammi trudged inside the room and tried so hard in muffling her cries. Fadw heard as she lay on the bed and it squeaked, and shs heard as Ammi brought Sabeehah to her chest and broke into silent tears before she spoke painfully.

"I will make sure you'll stop witnessing the toxic side of your father. I'll make sure you love him even with an ounce, make Ammi proud my girls." This brought more tears to all of them, and they cried themselves to sleep.

Fadwa woke up before it was even time for subh salah, she set the fire and boiled water for Ammi to bath with before she took some and had her bathe too. She got herself prepared before they proclaimed the salah, she prayed and heated their uneaten tuwo Ammi made yesterday night.

She was taking her own share when Ammi woke up and found her glumly eating her food. "Why haven't you woke us up? We're late, the mosques have finished praying already." Ammi said as she got down from the bed, walking over to Majida's sleeping figure.

"I noticed that you've been stressed and might need to rest. It's only while you sleep that your mind is freed and you rest so much. Make it a habit, Ammi, sleep to your satisfaction please." She smiled at her, and Ammi felt more meaning to her words.

"Majida, wake up for salah, we're minutes late." Ammi woke Majida up before she went to the kitchen and found the hot water, she took it and had her bathe before she went back to the room, looking at how Fadwa was deep in thoughts.

She bid them goodbye and was about to leave the house when she heard Majida asking Ammi about the bruises on her face. Ammi smiled and answered, "It's nothing to worry about, Majida. I slipped yesterday night in the toilet because the torchlight took off like that, we're going to buy a new one today."

Fadwa walked towards Nadia's house with tears she forced not to come down, "You'll be happy someday, Ammi." She whispered to herself.