Chapter 8

There was a deafening silence that covered the corners of the house. Mom and Dad were still both speechless while watching Ethan on their front. I don't know what exactly they are feeling right now as I can't see any trace of emotion on their faces other than their widened eyes and parted lips.

"Ma'am the—" 

The seemingly frozen time suddenly took back on its track when Charie spoke and stopped awkwardly when she realised the situation. I shot Charie a face and she replied a sorry smile. When I looked back, all eyes are already directed to me. 

"Hey?!" I greeted in a hoarse tone, fidgeting my hands in nervousness. My parents who still hadn't recovered under shock were surprised by my presence. 

"Mom, are we lost? Seems like they don't recognise us," Ethan innocently said with a pout. 

I extended my arm to invite my son who immediately hopped from my mom's lap and ran towards my direction. My eyes were welling with a heavy heart. Going here was really a bad idea. Ethan braced her arms around my thighs, meeting my eyes in sorrow. I felt bad at least for him.

"Sorry. I think it was really a bad idea going back here." My voice was cracking upon uttering those words. I can't stay here for long with this kind of set up. I know I am to be blame and I thought I was already prepared of what may come but I'm not. It was just all a great pretending act, fooling myself that I am strong and brave to face this expected scenario. 

They were shock and maybe speechless with madness. Who wouldn't be? I have been nowhere to be found for over six years, leaving them with all the disappointments and troubles I have caused. I heaved a deep breath before facing the exit while holding Ethan's hand. I want to speak but no words came out from my mouth. There's a lump in my throat, so hard to swallow. I want to look back and talk to them but fear and humiliation was eating me. I was embarrassed in my own home and family. I don't even exactly know how to catch up. 

I was attacked with thoughts and heavy feeling when a cold soft hand landed on my arm. "Hey, where are you going?" I turned my right to get the full view of my sister who concernly inquired. 

"Sorry," I whispered between my heavy breathing and welling eyes. She shook her head and smiled at me. I know she felt bad too. I sighed and caressed her arm to say that I am fine and all of us were not just ready of the sudden meet up. 

Without a word, Ethan and I stepped our foot on the doorway. There's no room for us here, I guess. Our steps are the only sound that could be heard inside the house. The footsteps echoed on the corners. Silence was around that I could even hear my own breathing. I stopped on the doorstep and heaved a sigh. 

'It's going to be fine, Amber,' I convinced myself. 

I looked down to meet my son and gave him a short smile. He jutted his bottom lip down and stared back at them on our back. My heart was shattering inside already. The pain upon watching my son's excitement slowly fading was a suffer to me. I patted his head and pinched his cheek for me to add up my strength, forcing myself not to break down. Ethan showed me a faint smile. 

We were about to step our foot until we lost on their sight when I heard my mom speaking. I thought I was just imagining things out. I was having a delirium but a soft voice cooed once again. 

"Amber…" I stiffened on my stand, trying to acknowledge the tone. "You won't hug your parents at least before leaving?" My tears suddenly streamed down to my face along with my hitched heartbeat. It was mom's soft voice that I long to hear. 

I slowly looked back to confirm if I was not dreaming or imagining things out then mom's bright face with a trace of sorrow in her round brown eyes met me. "I'm sorry," I mouthed with my shoulders moving up and down, crying. I was rooted on my stand for a couple of minutes until mom extended her arms to me. I hurriedly pulled my son up and carried him on my arms before I raced my foot towards their direction. 

Ethan lightly pulled himself to me and transferred to dad's big arms when we reached them. I then threw myself on mom's welcoming embrace then positioned myself on the couch, between them. My heart melted as I felt back home. The secured place I knew where warm hugs are already a comfort. Everything was so nostalgic. 

"You've changed a lot my Amber," she purred in my ear and tucked the escape strand of my hair. "You've grown so well. Mom is very happy to see you again," she continued with a soft tone. 

Mom was caressing my hair while I'm sobbing on her chest. No words escaped in my mouth as I can't explain the gladness that I am feeling right now. A few moments after, mom raised my chin and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek then she wiped my wet face by her hands. I smiled at her. 

I heaved a sigh and sat myself upright. "Mom, Dad…" I started in a crack voice. "I'm sorry..." I looked down to avoid their gazes as I felt so guilty and eaten by humiliation. 

A big hand tapped my back and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Hush now, Amber. You're already forgiven long before," he said. I lifted a view at him who was in blur because of my teary eyes. "I miss you, Honey," he continued, making my heart melt. 

There was a silence afterwards and my son was totally confused upon watching us all. I heaved a deep breath and pulled some courage to ask the question that I wanted to ask long before. 

"Why didn't you look for me?" They were surprised. 

"We did," Dad replied. "We searched you for a long time and the moment we found you, you are already doing good," Mom joined the conversation, staring at me so proud. "We only waited for this time to come." 

I looked down and heaved a sigh. Ethan then crawled towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I overthink. I was hurt and suffered, mom, dad. I was scared," I voiced out

"We're very sorry for that, Amber," Mom lightly pressed my arm. "Celestine already explained to us everything last night and that you wanted to meet us and sort things out. I thought she was just having fun of us," she chortled and continued, "She was kidding and fooling us, you know." 

"Wow! That's so mean!" she butt in. I shook my head and laughed when she crossed her arms and arched her eyebrow. Obviously, didn't like what she heard from mom. 

"What's your name again, young man?" Dad shifted the topic to my son. Ethan lifted a view at him and cheered his name. "Ethan!" Making my dad release a smirk. 

"Your mom is smart but foolish at the same time," he commented. I know what exactly he meant by that. For sure, it was about naming him after his bastard dad. 

"I know. I would fix this. Don't worry," I said with rolling eyes. 

"How sure are you?" Dad replied, focusing his attention to Ethan. I inhaled heavily and exhaled deeply before our eyes met. 

"I don't know. The only thing I knew is the other way around," I mumbled.