01| Baby B

DYLAN

"Baby B, this is for you," I told the little six year old as I handed her a stuffed baby bop toy.

Baby B was the little girl I stayed with at the foster home the state dumped me in at the age of twelve. The day I turned eighteen I had to leave her all alone with those fucked up monsters.

She was a pale skinned six year old with rosy cheeks. She missed two front teeth and every time she smiled she showed off her dimples that were indented in her cheeks. Her eyes, pure blue and sad. Sad from losing both her parents and now sad from losing me.

I called her Baby B because she loved Baby Bop from Barney. I always found those dinosaurs the most creepiest shit I'd ever seen but if it made her happy then it made me happy.

"Big brother, promise me you will visit," Baby B asked as a tear escaped her innocent eyes.

I swallowed hard and nodded, trying to seem convincing. I knew these people wouldn't allow me to visit the only person I had ever actually cared about, the only person I thought I could truly love.

"I promise, Rose," I hooked my pinky finger with hers, "and you have to promise to always keep Baby Bop with you."

She kissed my cheek and said, "Promise!"

Then the monsters dragged her away from me. I screamed. I shouted. I wanted to take her with me. But I couldn't.

I woke up drenched in sweat. It wasn't the first time I dreamt of Rose, Baby B. I hadn't seen her in three years. They never allowed me near her. I missed her. Fuck, I missed that kid. She always seemed to brighten up the most fucked up of days.

My phone indicated that it was still early in the morning. One in the morning to be exact. I groaned as I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

I tried to be as quiet as I possibly could. After all, I did share an apartment with someone else who attended college with me. I wouldn't refer to him as a friend because I didn't have much of those but he wasn't too bad. He was tolerable, to say the least. He never minded my business and I never minded his and I liked it that way. I liked being alone, by myself. Probably because I was so accustomed to it.

I made my way back to bed, tossing and turning for a bit before finding a comfortable position while I let sleep cloud my mind, blocking every thought I had.

~~~

"Fuck!" I groaned, grabbing the pillow to sandwich my head in between the pillow and the mattress.

The sun shone brightly through the open curtains in my room. I shut my eyelids tightly trying to ignore its harsh rays but to no avail.

"Wake up dick! You know Malik will skin you alive if you are late again," Conner said calmly but his words were laced with warning. He accompanied his calm words with a brutal pounding on my bedroom door that was sure to break the door if he continued.

I groaned as I got out of bed and opened my room door. Conner, my ever so lovely roommate, was a morning person. Whilst I couldn't wait to start sipping on my first cup off coffee for the day. However, I knew he was right and Malik would surely fire me for coming to work late yet again. I seemed to always turn up late whenever I had the morning shift because of my lack of sleep. My body knew I needed eight hours of sleep but my brain decided that three would be more sufficient.

After my morning ritual of bathroom duties were conducted I got dressed into my plain black shirt, pants, and boots and then tied a black apron around my waist. Malik was a stickler for wearing the stupid apron because it was part of the uniform. The uniform looked just fine without the ugly apron though, but I needed the job so I wore it nonetheless.

Okay, so maybe I was a bit embarrassed about the apron even though there was no reason for me to be.

I usually walked to work but if I was really late I would hail a cab, however, that also depended on when my shifts were. Sometimes, like today, I was forced to miss morning classes because I really needed the job to keep up with my share of the rent.

Good thing for me that my entire college tuition was paid for by a basketball scholarship.

With my time being spent on working, studying, and still practicing with the team, I had no God damn time for myself. I had no fucking time to go see the little girl I made a promise to and that ate me up inside everyday. Not only did I have no time but when I did somehow find an opening to see her I couldn't because they would keep me away. They moved her out of the foster home she shared with me to only God knows where and they refused to tell me.

I couldn't help but wonder how much she must have changed over the years, how tall she must have grown. Her two missing teeth must have grown in and I wondered how they looked. I was almost certain more of her milk teeth had fallen out considering how many toffee sweets she could gobble down in a matter of minutes.

"Reed, you're late. Again!" Malik chastised as he quirked an eyebrow in my direction.

"I know, Malik. It's been a hectic morning," a defeated sigh escaped my lips.

Malik patted my back in understanding, "We all have those days. Now get to work!"

With a curt nod, I stood behind the counter to man the till of the now busy coffee shop. The morning rush made me more exhausted than I already was and that dream made me uneasy.

The only way I would be able to concentrate was if I went to see her. I had to see the kid to make sure that she was okay. She had no one else after all. I protected her and she kept me somewhat sane in the insane world I lived in. After all this time apart from her I still felt a strange connection to her. I knew what foster homes where like and I witnessed so many girls being damaged all for the sake of money. I vowed to protect her but I let her down. She probably hated me for not even keeping one simple promise.

After my shift ended at the coffee shop, I got a cab to college. I made it just in time for my last class which I was grateful for. Most of the students still lingered the hallways, chattering away. I spotted the team busy flirting with a bunch of girls near the gym.

What's new there?

That was their daily routine and generally, I would have been along side them because believe it or not, most girls were so easy that it didn't take me five seconds to get them to drop their panties for me in a restroom stall.

"Bro, did you make it on time today?" Conner yelled when he spotted me stalking toward them.

"No, was late again!"

"Sorry, bro. I tried to get you up but you sleep like you're dead," Conner's laugh was drowned out by the sound of a wailing siren, signaling the start of a new class.

All the students disbursed in their own directions. I turned on my heels and headed straight to my class. Not that I actually paid much attention. I hid behind a... Healthy... guy who blocked my entire figure from the view of the lecturer.

The entire time, I tried my utmost best to get a hold of the social worker on Rose's case but I got nowhere with that. It just left me even more uneasy with a dash of frustration. They were getting so fed up with me calling and pestering them that they began ignoring my phone calls altogether. They couldn't understand why I cared so much for the little girl but their first thought drifted to me having ill intentions toward her, which was the furthest from the truth.

Although I knew this, it never stopped me from trying to find her, and I would find her. Somehow, I just knew I would!

~~~

"Get your head in the game!" Mike, the captain of the basketball team, yelled as he passed the ball to me and he was right.

I had to concentrate at least now since I needed this scholarship. Being one of the best players on the team meant that everyone, especially coach relied on me. If my attention kept drifting off into space, I would be letting everyone down, including myself.

The whistle sounded signifying the end of practice. Some of the guys chilled on the sidelines flexing and smiling at any gullible female who would make an easy lay. The bleachers were always filled with hormonal girls watching the team practice. They would distract so many players that coach would have to chase the giggling bunch of girls away.

Usually, I would have joined my teammates but today I wasn't feeling it. Today I just wanted to sit at home, drink a nice, cold beer, and maybe catch some sleep. That was if I could actually get to sleep without waking up every hour because of a nightmare. Sometimes I couldn't help but think avoiding sleep altogether would be better than suffering from my recurring night terrors.

"Bro, you need a ride home?" Conner beamed while wrapping an arm around the waist of a blonde.

He looked like he was in for a fun night and I wasn't about to ruin it for him so I shook my head.

I was perfectly fine with walking home. I didn't have enough money saved up to buy a car just yet but a few more shifts at the coffee shop and I'd have enough to take Conner's GTO off his hands. Anyway, it was still bright and California wasn't the deadliest place to be. There were places that were sketchy like the alleyways but this was no 'Hell's Kitchen'.

Conner and I had an agreement that we would never bring any girls to the apartment because that was our place and we didn't need any 'clingy bitches' –according to him –hanging around us so I was certain he wasn't coming home tonight.

I took my time, strolling, taking in the fresh air, and leaving my mind completely blank. I was tired of thinking. I needed to stop.

Deciding to cut through the park on the way to the apartment for the scenic view wasn't the most ideal thing to do because that's when I saw something that practically made my blood boil. I had a short temper which was already difficult to control. People said I needed help to get rid of my so called anger problems but I liked the fact that people stayed away from me. If I became a friendly person then people would take advantage of me.

I found a tree to hide behind and listened to the altercation that was taking place until I couldn't remain silent anymore.