Chapter Ten:

I felt bad rushing Liza through our dinner rendezvous, but I made up for it by filling her in on what went down with Vasha.

“Sooo....she got drunk and fought some random stranger at a bar? Three days after your fight?” She cocked a fair brow and folded her hands neatly on the table. When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “and now, she’s asking you to call her for the details? I don’t know, Ceen....she sounds like a handful. Already. You haven’t even met her yet!"

Of course I knew how this looked. Vasha was fun....she knew her way around a great joke, and her taste in music was impeccable. It’s what made us friends, but that’s not why I fell in love with her. She was broken. Broken people gravitate toward me and had all my life. I’d learned more about her over the last month than in the little over half a year we’d been acquainted. I didn’t want to share Vasha’s secrets with Liza, because they were mine to protect. That didn’t mean I couldn’t reassure my best friend everything was under control.

Even when it wasn’t.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about anyone, Liza. I admire her...she’s been through hell, I’m not surprised she drinks. She gets these ideas that I’m going to turn out like the girl she loved a grip ago. You know me, I have to prove that I’m not-“

“Hmm, so she's one of your projects. I get it now.” Liza interjected in irritation. She shook her head and looked toward the street. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

“If you’d let me fucking finish-“ I growled, and she looked me in the eye warily. “You should know after all, you keep giving Max chances he stopped deserving years ago. How can you judge Vasha?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Francine...but for the record, my situation with Max is different.” The way she said that made me mad. As if her relationship was so superior to mine because they lived together. It’s not like I intended to fall for someone halfway across the world. It just happened.

“She’s work, I get it. You don’t think it’s worth my time to fix her.” I wiped my mouth with a napkin before crumpling and tossing it aside. Liza watched with her arms crossed, not making a move to try and object.

“You know I can’t let this go. A Connection like ours...I’ve never had that with anyone. She needs me...I need her. It’s like there’s an invisible string attached to our hearts. I can physically feel when something’s wrong....it’s nothing to support the person I love more than...anything. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.” I hadn’t wanted to admit any of that, especially not to Liza...but I knew the second I told Vasha I loved her that she had me wrapped around her little finger. I took the verbal abuse, her drunken rants, her tears. I withstood each blow and stayed put. Everyone deserved a someone who wouldn’t give up on them. We all had issues.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.” Liza explained, rising to throw our trash away. “I still want to punch Katie in her fat face every time she snoops around my apartment looking for you. You moved on fast this time and I don't know how I feel about it."

I understood what she was getting at, but didn’t feel like continuing the conversation. I checked my phone. Vasha would be expecting a Skype call less than twenty minutes from now.

“I’m fine, but we really need to get going. I’ve got a ten for gas.”

“I just filled up my tank, keep your money.” Liza chirped back and walked briskly ahead of me. I knew she was upset, but she’d get over it. Whenever she hit one of my soft spots, I closed up. She’d fume for a few days, and things between us would go back to normal. I didn’t expect any different.

********************

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting cross legged on my bed patiently while Vasha rinsed her face in the bathroom. Today, she had placed her laptop in the living room and I looked around with interest. Her condo was tasteful. All black furniture, with a few potted plants brightening the atmosphere.

“I would understand if you hated me.” My girlfriend’s voice came from her bedroom, and she emerged seconds later looking like someone caught her hand in the cookie jar. Once she got closer, I noticed her left eye was bruised, but at least it wasn’t completely black or swollen. Her lower lip was split some, and several cuts were present on her collarbone and arms. It looked like someone had been struggling, grasping at her for release.

“I could never hate you.” I soothed as she laid down on her couch, throwing her small legs across the armrest.

“....Can you see me?” She asked, adjusting the camera. I nodded, watched her relax back into the faux leather material and draw a deep breath. I noticed she did that a lot when she was nervous.

“I’m sorry...” she began, and rubbed her brow in frustration. “I saw Katie...on your Facebook. I read her posts on your wall, she keeps asking you to come over. I want to really know you....but I only know what you show me...” She bit her lip and winced. I reminded myself to suggest icing her wound after she finished talking.

“I want to trust you...I tell myself to stop this nonsense that crawls in my head...but it’s like a disease,” she explained sadly. I leaned forward.

“Did I tell you about my first girlfriend? I met her on the streets. After I left the orphanage when I came of age, and I didn’t know where my dad was. I got a job cleaning tables at a fish market. It smelled bad and paid horrible, but I saved money and always had food to eat. I showered in the back where they hose off the fish and slept at the metro station. That’s where I met Olya for the first time.”

Wait. Olya-

“I know what you’re thinking....Olya....the girl who called you. She’s my friend, but we used to date. There’s nothing romantic between us now.” Vasha assured me and took a small sip of tea before continuing.

“Where was I? Oh yes. Olya is an alcoholic, same as me. We did everything together, detka. Her and me only....I got her a job at the market waitressing, and soon we could afford a cheap room in the city. I finally had a hot shower and she slept on a bed instead of in my lap.” She smiled faintly at the memory, and I felt a small twinge of jealousy. I had to remind myself this was all in her past.

“One night...I came home with flowers I handpicked on my way back from work. Olya liked daisies....it took me a long time to find enough. I gave up drinking, but she always spent our money on vodka and disappeared in the company of others. I knew the relationship was failing...but I couldn’t bear it, detka. My mom never loved me...I needed her to love me instead.” She started to cry, but quickly wiped her tears and went on. “I...I noticed the light was on in our living room, and I got excited. Olya was rarely home when I returned from work in the evening. When I opened the door, I heard giggling....” her voice became bitter “I found my Olya drinking wine with a colleague from work of all people....he had his arms around her waist. They were half dressed.”

Why would she still talk to this bitch? I wondered, pissed off for poor Vasha when she cut into my thoughts.

“It’s against the law to be gay in Russia, and he knew this. He threatened to tell our boss if I retaliated. To my face. Olya was so drunk she just stared at me with a cold emptiness. I didn’t recognize her. Detka...the first sting of romantic betrayal never left me. I gathered my belongings in the same bag I moved in that room with. Olya rushed to the door and begged my forgiveness after the man left. I didn’t hear her, and wrenched free of her hold. Everything I had....I let her have it all. Since then...every girl I meet, I see those intentions and it makes me sick.” Vasha paused, looking up toward the ceiling. Tears spilled down her rosy cheeks.

“I went back to drinking...when I drink, I do horrible things....I beat a man who kept asking for my phone number...I should have just left, but I didn’t. I thought of our argument...and I kept punching and punching...I almost killed him.” She sounded spooked, and I ran a hand through my hair as I took everything she was telling me in.

This poor girl. Vasha needed to be reassured, and loved without any conditions. As if she hadn't been through enough. My heart broke after hearing about my girlfriend's past with Olya, and I smiled tenderly to show my support.

“Vasha, I won’t hurt you. I'm not like that.” I pleaded with her to look at me, and she did with reluctance. The pain shining in her eyes broke me a little more as I went on. “Katie is...insane. Always has been. I delete those comments as soon as I can, but I’m busy. I work full time, so I don’t always see them right away. I’ve been meaning to block her, and I will. You have nothing to worry about. The guy you got into that fight with....is he going to be alright? Are you being charged? You can still see me....right....?” I’d been dreading this question, but it needed to be asked.

“Ok. Yes would you block her, please? It drives me crazy to see her attempts at getting back with you while I can't do anything about it. Detka, I was not fully honest with you...about my dad...” she sat upright, and crossed her arms in nervousness. Refused to meet my questioning gaze. “My father...he owns a oil business being ran out of Moscow. He’s worth billions of rubles...I wanted nothing to do with him, because I thought he forgot about me...I grew up in an orphanage, I told you about it. My mom cruelly altered my documents at birth...he didn’t even know my name. Originally, I was called “Yulia”. Lucky me, I like Vasilisa better...because “Vasha” sounds cool.” She joked, and I smiled slightly. “My dad found me years later, sleeping at the metro station. He traced my mother’s maiden name “Lapshina” and discovered I worked at the fish market. Olya told him I slept by the trains at night, she led him to me. This was...four years ago. I’ve forgiven him, and Olya.....my dad has to get me out of trouble when I drink. I think he feels guilty...the man I hurt, he is awake in the hospital. My dad paid him to stay quiet...I don’t deserve it...but I’m still coming to see you...in twenty seven days.....please don’t think less of me now...”

I had so many questions, but all I wanted was to comfort her at that moment.

“Moya lyubov’ (my love), I’m still not leaving...except to come pick you up at the airport in a few weeks.” I watched her face brighten, and we giggled.

“You look beautiful...as usual.” She stared into my eyes, and I felt the same spark I had since the first time we Skyped half a year ago.

“Don’t worry.” I said solemnly “I love you.....I’ll prove it the first time we kiss.” I couldn't wait to press my lips against her perfectly shaped full ones. I was making it my personal mission to sweep my girlfriend off her feet, and show her a love she'd never dreamed possible. I wanted to make up for all the suffering Vasha went through in her last relationship.

Her smile disappeared and she looked down. “I don’t want to hurt you, detka. Olya, my dad...they destroyed my spirit. They owe me. You have done nothing. I am trying to change, but it’s difficult...I’m not the same. Life has made me this way, and drinking helps to ease the blows.” I understood she was trying to warn me, but I was unfazed.

“You didn’t deserve that pain, Vasha...stop punishing yourself. It’s ok to let me in...I’ll always protect you.” I pressed my hand against the screen, and she immediately placed her's against the outline of mine. As she cried silently, I reassured her over and over that our love could overcome anything. Even her alcoholism.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but that didn’t matter. I wanted her to experience some pleasure in life...and I believed I could give it to her. In more ways than one.