Chapter Six:

“If I tell you, you can’t laugh.” I teased, making light of the fact she couldn’t stop laughing at any English words I had been trying to teach her for the past two 1/2 hours. I wasn't annoyed though. In fact, I found it refreshing. Vasha's constant giggle fits were literally the cutest, and I wasn't ready for her to stop acting so happy.

“Ok, ok. It's fair.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had the longest, thickest blonde eyelashes. To distract herself, Vasha started swaying from side to side slightly but the smile was still spread across her glowing face. “I’m ready for them, tell me.”

I was about to respond with something that'd probably have her in stitches once again when there was a short knock on my bedroom door.

“Francine? Katie’s here. I told her you weren’t home, but she heard you. Get rid of her, would ya? I'm not in the mood to call the cops tonight.” Liza sounded irritated and tired. I wasn’t going to press my luck by asking her to do it herself. Vasha craned her graceful neck, trying to decipher the voice talking to me with a furrowed brow. I sighed out loud and gave her an apologetic glance before running my hands through my hair in frustration.

“Someones at the door. Here’s the first word, FUCK. It’s how I feel right now. I’ll be right back, Vash.” I leapt to my feet and flew into the living room.

I could faintly hear Vasha practicing in her thick Russian accent, “Faaaack. Fuuuuuck. Fuaack!?” She was too adorable for words.

I didn’t even get to the doorway before an irate Katie started in on me.

“Who’s THIS BITCH!?” She thrust her oversized space grey Android in my face. I could see Vasha’s comments on some of my Facebook posts, and I got why she was here. My blood started boiling.

“We broke up. Months ago, remember? We were just fucking. I ended that, too. A goddamn week ago. Get laid, Katarina. Go fuck with someone, ANYONE, other than me.”

“So...she’s the new one, then?” She rolled her predatory like green eyes and snarled sarcastically. I've always gone weak in the knees for green eyes, but Katie's weren't the same as Vasha's. Her's reminded me of a cat ready to tear the throat out of an unsuspecting mouse. Vasha's resembled the moss growing along the bottom of the sea and along hills and valleys. They were curious, and gentle. It was difficult to find Katie's attractive anymore. “I guess two Russian BITCHES go together like flies on shit.”

“You’re WAY off.” I snapped. I was white knuckling the door at this point to keep myself from straight punching her in the nose. “Who I talk to is none of your business. And don’t ever-“ I took a step forward menacingly “EVER call Vasha a bitch. She’s a close friend. A way better person than most- and I’m not going to let you trash talk her when she isn’t here to defend herself.” I didn’t even bother correcting her on the fact that I’m half Ukrainian, not Russian. It didn’t matter. A white girl was a white girl to Katie. I’d been with her long enough to know.

“Whatever, fuck you both. By the way, here’s some shit you left at my house. You're lucky my sister didn't light this useless sack of crap on fire.” A black trash bag materialized, and she threw it in front of my feet. I didn’t have to look inside to know half of the items in it were broken. “I used to say you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, I just wish I never met you.”

That stung a little, but there wasn’t room for consolation. We were over. We couldn’t be friends. It was time to close the door, both figuratively and literally.

“Goodbye Katarina. Don't come around me again.” My voice was flat, but I wanted to cry. I could see her expression change once she realized what she’d said to me, but I was already grabbing the trash bag and shutting the door behind me. I leaned my head against the heavy wooden door for a second and felt a few tears slide down my cheeks. I hadn’t loved her for several months, and maybe I never loved her to begin with...but I couldn’t stand it when I had to let people go. My mom abandoned my brother and I when I was twelve. She left me with my dad and manipulative stepmother, who was more interested in including her own family into our household than getting to know us. I’d already been having a hard time, but as soon as I came out I suddenly didn’t have a place to live anymore. I hated feeling like I was abandoning her. I guess I just had to keep reminding myself it was her choice, and I didn’t want to keep fighting to be in an abusive relationship any longer. If she would've treated me a little better, we wouldn't have separated. I like how she conveniently forgets that detail, and can't help but act erratic even when she's just trying to get me to sleep with her without any strings attached. It's insane.

“She’ll be right back.” I heard Liza trying to explain to Vasilisa, loudly. I groaned in annoyance.

“She’s Russian, not deaf! She can’t understand you.” I ran up from behind Liza and playfully swatted at the back of her head. I apologized to Vasha, who was smiling quizzically, watching us giggle and hit each other with vigor. I pulled her left arm backwards until I heard a surrendering yelp.

“You win!” Liza shrieked and wrestled her way out of my grasp. “Talk to your woman.”

I sat up and blushed furiously. “She’s my fri-“

“Yeah yeah, your friiiiieeend.” Liza winked at both of us and danced out of my room with a sarcastic whistle.

I turned my attention to Vasha, who was sipping her tea and grinning from ear to ear. I noticed a small mole on the left side of her upper neck, and I wondered if it was raised or flat. I loved moles. Beauty marks. Freckles. Most girls seemed self conscience of them, but I was obsessed.

"Who was it?" She inquired with raised eyebrows. I got myself re-situated and panted from fooling around with Liza.

"Katie. She returned a trash bag with a bunch of my broken belongings in it. I told her I never wanted to see her again." I did, just not in so many words.

Vasha nodded sympathetically and clicked her tongue deep in thought. After rubbing her chin, she exhaled audibly. “Fuck.” It was said perfectly, in her beautiful accent. I grinned back at her.“Detka....can I tell you something? Something important.” Her demeanor changed. She looked like she was hiding something, and I didn’t like it.

“Anything, always.” I assured her, taking my laptop and moving it to my bed so I could get comfortable. I’m all for sitting on the floor sometimes, but my back was killing me.

She bit a nail nervously, and I realized that’s why her nails were so short. “This never happens to me. I am alone. I like to be alone, because I know what to expect from my loneliness. I talk to girls all the time, but I don’t want a relationship.”

I felt my heart sink, and I was angry at myself for developing feelings for someone so unattainable. I tried to steady my breathing as my friend licked her lips and rubbed the back of her head slowly.

“I couldn't understand, Francine. We've never met in person, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” She continued, and I looked away quickly. “I tried.” She said softly. “I know you’re across the world from me...other people can be around you, I cannot. Your friend, she can hug you and be physically close. I can only see you on this stupid computer screen.” She swallowed hard, and pressed her hand against the screen. “I just want to touch you.....it’s such a simple request, but I can’t. I want to fall asleep beside you, under the same moon. I long to share the basic pleasures of life with you and only you. It's why I can't get these feelings under control.”

I’d never seen her this emotional. Usually, we laughed and joked about lighthearted topics. We’ve shared a few deep conversations, and she was there for me every time I had a shit day at work, or when Katie was getting under my skin. I felt my own chest rise and fall. The anxiety was driving me nuts.

She likes you. She really likes you...and you like her.

No, I love her.

The excitement in knowing for sure this was happening nearly gave me a heart attack. I didn’t know what it was exactly, but I wanted to find out. This conversation was finally being had, and I wasn't prepared for it.

I traced the screen where her hand was. Along her fingers. Wishing I could feel her skin against mine. Her face lit up, then. The last four months had been an emotional roller coaster, all leading up to this moment. I wouldn't have taken them back for anything. Taking a deep breath, I confessed my true feelings as my head swam with blissful fear.

“I love you, Vasilisa.” I was the first to say it, and I was so fucking scared.

“Don’t worry, detka. You have me...every bit. I love you too.” She started crying, but she was smiling so much I could see almost all of her teeth. Emotion overtook me and I cried, too. Four months of almost constant communication had evolved into so much more than either of us were looking for, and the realization was frightening. It might've been so much easier if one of us didn't feel the same, because holding onto unrequited love isn't realistic. That wasn't the case though and while it felt exhilarating to hear Vasha admit she felt the same way about me, I was terrified to ask about our future.

“...What are we going to do?” I questioned aloud in despair. I’ve been in long distance relationships, before. But my EX girlfriends were all American. It was nothing to take a Greyhound bus for six hours to see Jenna in California, or a plane to see Amelia in Wisconsin. I had no idea how the Visa process worked if I decided to see Vasha in Siberia, Russia. Or if she wanted to come here instead?

“I need to see you, of course.” She sounded so sure of her decision. The determined glint in her green orbs made me smile through my tears.

“I have my passport, it won't expire for a few more years. I’ll just apply to enter the United States.” She was carrying her laptop outside. I could see frost covering her balcony like a blanket, and she lit up a cigarette.

“What are you doing!? Vasha, put a fucking jacket on. And throw that cigarette out, do you want cancer?” I was partially teasing. But also, she was asking for a cold hanging around outside in nothing but a wife beater and a pair of boxer shorts. She tilted the laptop down, and I could see she wasn’t wearing shoes either. She wiggled her cute, short toes. I’m a sucker for painted nails, but Vasha didn’t need it. They were adorable natural.

“I hate shoes. Jackets. Clothes. When I come to Arizona, I want to bake in the sun like bread. Free!”

I stared at her porcelain skin and chuckled, “You’ll turn into Indian frybread if you’re not careful!”

We burst into laughter, and she took a long drag off her smoke before putting it out. “Let’s plan a meeting. I’d rather be holding you than freezing alone right now but nothing can be done about it until we take action.”

“I can’t wait, detka.” I nodded, and we reluctantly said our goodbyes so she could get ready for work. Once we disconnected, I took a moment to lean back against the headboard and sigh apprehensively.

I still couldn’t believe this was real.