CHAPTER EIGHT: CONFESSION

SAVI’S POV

“So, ahm, may I know your name first?”

I looked at him and gulped, clearing my throat. “I'm Savannah Cortez. Savi for short.”

“Savi...” Tumango-tango siya habang binibigkas ang pangalan ko na parang may something doon. “Ilang taon ka na?” 

Huminga ako ng malalim. “Twenty-nine.”

“How did you know me? Well, I remember last night, you called my name and I seemed to find that I never told you about it. And where have you been all along? I searched everywhere just to find you, but to my dismay, I can't even find a single thing about you.”

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Parang naumid ang dila ko. Paano ko sasabihin na kaya alam ko kung sino siya ay dahil napanood ko siya sa telebisyon at nabasa sa mga magazines? Paano ko sasabihin na kaya hindi niya ako mahanap ay dahil sa simula pa lang, wala naman ako rito sa Pilipinas? Oo nga at bumalik ako pero mga isang linggo lang naman ang itinagal ko. I stayed at Em's place. Hindi ako lumabas noon. I just waited for the private plane na susundo sa'kin pabalik sa London. 

Nang hindi ako tanggapin ng pamilya ko, I've decided na sa London na lang manirahan. Because I thought I have no reason to stay here. Hindi ko naman alam na pinapahanap pala niya ako. 

Paano ko sasabihin na nagbunga ang isang gabing pinagsaluhan namin? Ang gabing bumago sa buhay ko?

“B-Bakit mo ako hinahanap? It's just a one night stand, you know.” Nagawa kong sabihin para makaiwas sa mga katanungan niya.

At gusto ko ring malaman kung bakit niya ako hinahanap. Para saan? Anong dahilan niya? Hindi niya ako kilala noong mga panahon na iyon kaya paano niya ako mahahanap? 

“Ako ang unang nagtanong. Answer me first and I'll tell you.” He got me there. He leaned in. “How did you know me?” Mataman siyang tumitig sa‘kin na parang binabasa niya ang laman ng isip ko.

I sighed exasperatedly and let him know even a single thing about me. “I accidentally watched you in a television. You were featured in the National channel for being in line on the business world. I never imagined that you are a millionaire and that's the first time I heard about you.” Paliwanag ko, hindi natitinag sa titig niya.

The first time I watched him in television was in London, and I'm carrying my– his child that time. Kaya nga noong ipinanganak ko si Aiken ay hindi ako nagdalawang isip na ipangalan sa kanya ang bata. Hindi ko ipinangalan ang anak ko sa kanya para may kapit ako. It's not because of his wealth and power. I don't need that. Kaya kong magtrabaho para kumita ng pera para may ipambuhay ako sa anak ko lalo pa at itinakwil nga ako ng pamilya ko kung kailan kailangan ko sila.

For me, it's his right. Dahil anak niya si Aiken. Dugo at laman niya ang anak ko. Pinagpawisan namin 'yon. Lol.

“Oh...” Napakurap-kurap siya na parang di makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. “Wow, I never imagined that I am that, you know, popular and all.” 

My forehead creased, brows straighted. “Are you fucking kidding me? You are included in the list of one of the youngest multimillionaires around the world and then you'll just say you didn't imagine that thing?” Ako naman naman ang di makapaniwalang tumingin sa kanya. 

Seryoso ba siya? Hindi niya naisip na sikat at kilala siya pagdating sa business? Wow. This man never fails to amuse me.

Napakamot siya sa batok at kagat-labing tumawa ng mahina. Ang sexy. Putek! “Well, ahm, I actually don't care if I was seen in television or even in magazines. I don't brag about my money and power or even fame whatsoever.” Parang nahihiya niyang komento. 

Di ko tuloy mapigilan ang sarili ko kundi ang matawa. “You do hate attentions, don't you?” 

Hindi siya nagsalita, sa halip ay umiwas ng tingin sa‘kin. Pero hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko ang pamumula ng pisnge niya pati iyong tainga. What the fuck?

Napahagalpak ako ng tawa. My, my, hindi ko inaasahan na ganun pa rin siya noong makilala ko. Innocent and shy type. But last night, he's different. Damn. He's wild and savage, gone the innocence. 

Oh, Savi, shut up and don't go over that thing. You are being naughty again. 

Tumigil lang ako sa pagtawa nang makitang titig na titig siya sa‘kin at may kislap ng kasiyahan ang kanyang mga mata. 

Tumikhim ako. “So,” Panimula ko. “Bakit mo nga pala ako hinahanap? For what reason?” 

“Because I fell for you.”

Bigla akong napaubo sa biglaan niyang pag-amin. 

What the fuck? Damn. So straightforward. 

Mabilis naman niya akong binigyan ng tubig. “Are you okay?”

I nodded my head slowly. Mukhang hindi pa tinatanggap ng utak ko iyong sinabi niya. 

“Nabigla ba kita?” Nakanang! Tinanong pa talaga ang obvious. “Sorry for my sudden confession. Pero nasabi ko na kung ano 'yong dahilan. Nandito na rin lang, why not I tell you everything, right?” I looked away as I wait his confessions.

“Five years ago, I was so broken when we met at the club. Who would have been when the one he loves cheated and broke up with him? I know I was naive and innocent since I'm a certified Mama's boy. My Mom taught me to be a good boy and all. Sabi nga nila, I'm the prim and proper man. I never experienced having a fling or even dating someone when I was in college. Hanggang sa magtapos ako. My Dad trained me how to run his company since he'll pass that in no time. Ilang buwan din niya akong tinuruan hanggang sa ako na ang pumapalit sa pwesto niya bilang acting CEO kapag may business trip siya abroad.” Huminga siya ng malalim.

“And then one time, a woman came into my Dad's office. She is beautiful and tall and wearing a pink simple dress. Since ako ang nakaupo that time, I'm the one who entertain her. Nagpakilala siyang anak ng business partner ni Dad and she just want to thank my Dad and the company for helping theirs and them from bankruptcy. Nakakatuwa siyang kausap at ang gaan ng loob ko sa kanya. We became friends and later on, we dated. I enjoyed her company. Hindi ko namamalayan na nagugustuhan ko na pala siya at unti-unti nang nahuhulog ang loob ko. Naging kami and everything went almost perfectly until she kissed me. Sa bigla ko, since I never kissed a woman that passionately, naitulak ko siya. She was mad at sinabihan niya akong walang kwenta. Ilang araw siyang hindi nagpakita sa‘kin. Pero bumalik siya at nakipagbati. Akala ko magiging okay na ang lahat, but she did it again, and that time, she asked for it. Pumayag ako hindi dahil gusto ko pero dahil ayoko siyang mawala sa‘kin. I love her, or maybe that's what I thought because that's the first time I felt that kind of emotions and feelings. .”

“Pero iniwan ka rin niya.” Komento ko habang malamyang nakatingin sa kanya. 

He nodded, agreeing to what I have just said. “Yeah. We are doing that thing when she realized I-I, ahm, d-don't have any experience on that. Akala ko matatanggap niya ang bagay na iyon. But no. She fucking laughed at me. Nilait-lait niya ako. Wala raw akong balls. Wala raw akong ganang katalik. Iniwan niya ako at nakipagtalik sa iba. That hurts my pride and ego. Nasaktan ako kasi akala ko, siya na. Akala ko mahal niya ako at iba siya pero hindi pala. Sex lang ang habol niya sa‘kin at nang hindi niya iyon nakuha, she broke me. That's the time I went in Club Hell and I'm glad that you were there.” He looked at me softly like he was mesmerizing the moment we had five years ago. 

Habang nakatitig sa mga mata niya, pinaghalo-halong emosyon ang nakikita ko roon. Sakit. Lungkot. Pangungulila. Saya. At pagmamahal? I don't know.

“Balak kong magpakalunod sa alak noong gabing 'yon. Hindi ko intensiyong istorbohin ka, but the moment we accidentally bumped each other, parang may nag-udyok sa‘kin na kausapin ka. That's why I waited for you outside the comfort room.”

My eyes widen. “Wait, you mean... ikaw iyong nakabangga ko that time I'm in a hurry? At hinintay mo ako hanggang sa makalabas ng CR tapos tinabihan mo ako sa bar counter for a purpose?” Di makapaniwalang tanong ko, nililinaw ang mga sinabi niya. 

Umawang ang mga labi ko nang tumango siya. 

The fuck?

“I just thought that you are the right person I could share my sentiments. And then you k-kissed me. Nabigla ako sa ginawa mo pero di ko naisip na itulak ka kasi parang nagustuhan ko rin ang bagay na iyon. I thought pagtatawanan mo rin ako at iinsultihin, but I didn't expect your next action. You asked me if I want to learn how to kiss at pumayag ako. Nakaramdam agad ako ng kakaibang saya nang gabing 'yon. And everything became so special to me when we did it. I felt important. I felt worth. And I felt loved. You made me a man. Pero nadismaya ako nang hindi kita nakita kinaumagahan.” Bumadha ang lungkot sa mukha niya. “That day I started searching you everywhere, but I couldn't find a single thing about you. Paano nga ba kita mahahanap kung pangalan mo ay di ko alam? Mukha lang ang pagkakakilanlan ko sa‘yo.”

Nag-iwas ako nang tingin. I felt guilt so sudden. Hindi ko naman ginustong iwan na lang siya basta ng ganoon. Kasi kung ako lang ang masusunod, I will stay beside him. But it was a call of duty and something came up and I can't just ignore it just for my own pleasure. Hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa kanya. Hindi ko na rin nga naisip na mag-iwan ng sulat dahil biglaan. 

“I, ahm, happy that I saw you again. I've been waiting for five years and hoping that you'll come back, and I thank God that you are here in front me, talking to you.” He smiled genuinely. 

Nakaramdam ako ng saya sa puso ko. Gusto kong maiyak sa mga ipinagtapat niya sa‘kin. 

I never thought that he was that broken that time. 

Sobra siyang nasaktan sa ginawa nung babae'ng 'yon. She's his first love after all. It was his first time to fell in love, but he was just dumped and insulted because he's innocent. He fell for the wrong woman. 

Damn that bitch for hurting him.

Hindi ako nagkamali nang yayain ko siya ng gabing iyon. Hindi ako nagsisi na ibinigay ko ang pagkababae ko sa kanya. Hindi ako nagsisi na ginawa namin ang bagay na iyon. 

I can't find and feel any regrets at all.

Sa halip, I felt proud and overwhelmed. Who wouldn't? Look at him now, he's the opposite of the man I met before. Though he's still look so innocent for me, but he's a freaking man now. He rocks on bed. My baby... he learned that fast and damn boy, he knows how to pleasure a woman now. He did that to me and not the other way around. Siya kasi ang nasa ibabaw. I blushed on that thought. 

“Give me a name, baby.” 

He looks shock. Definitely for not what I'm asking, but for what I just called him. Baby. Hmm... that feels so good rolling on my tongue. I love it. 

“C'mon, give me the bitch's name. I'm waiting.” Damn, Savi. So bossy and demanding.

“W-Why?”

Ngumisi ako at bahagyang dumukwang sa kanya. Nakatukod ang mga kamay ko habang nakalapit ang mukha ko sa kanya. He stilled on my sudden action. 

Gumalaw ako at tumapat sa tainga niya ang bibig ko. Lalo tuloy siyang nanigas sa ginawa ko. “Baby, that's for me to know and for you to find out.” I teased and bit his earlobe slightly.

I winked before leaving him dumbfounded. 

No one will ever gonna hurt you again, baby. No one, unless it's me. Tuturuan ko ng leksiyon ang pokpok na 'yon dahil sa ginawa niya sa‘yo. Aahitan ko siya ng buhay.

She should be readying herself now whoever she is because I'm back. The badass Savi is here and ready to kick her ass off.