CHAPTER I

Chapter 01

"What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here?"– Wuthering Heights

Ramona (age 20 )

Dean (age 26)

I was born a freak– a freak with a monstrous nature.

My nature, I learned at a tender age, was a beast to be tamed and led around by a leash, never to be freed. I was raised to do no bad deed, to wrong no soul, to make only truthful heeds, and draw perfect, straight lines. But most importantly, I was to contain the freak deep inside of me and never let it glimpse light. And so, I have locked it away within me, down a cold abyss of my mind; in hopes of bashing its burning head and freezing it to death. However, despite all my tries, its will to live and thrive did nothing but swell each day. I always had a fear rushing within me that one day it would take over me and like a hurt animal start to lash out and set every soul that I held dear to me aflame as I stood helplessly, arms outstretched, causing it.

I couldn't possibly let that happen.

I spent years thinking of a way out, out of my miserable situation. Today, however, determination has formed an unbearable knot in my middle that I couldn't shake loose, and my mind was set for once and for all. I thought, if I were unable to escape it, then, I was going to let it out, set it free at the Celibate Ceremony tonight. I didn't want to contain it no more. Didn't want to be the girl whose hands were always buried deep inside pockets, gloves and mittens. I didn't want the old way anymore, for that old way had always mocked the stubborn, free person that I was. I wanted to control me, sneer back at my own fears and shadows and feel the breeze on my skin.

Besides, The Mother had everyone's interest at heart. We lived by her wise advice, drank her water, dwelt on her land, and mourned for her distress. She knew what is best for everyone, including me. Her sending me the two larks– leaving them on my bed in a wooden, engraved box affirmed, nothing but, her approval on me leading the Spring Ceremony. It was a task, I wholeheartedly was going to undertake.

Father will be very angry, but I will do everything in my power to cause no harm– less harm.

Bringing the lit candle near my face, I relished its sensation near my skin. I could drown in its horrible flames, and yet feel no dread, no pain. I was cursed for good. Blowing out the head of flame that was inches from my face, teasing me, darkness got access to ooze and spread into the room and like a disease with dreadful etiquette it took over my sight as well as the whole place.

As my eye-sight started to adjust to the darkness around me, eyeing the shadowed corners of my darkened room, I prayed everyone was fast asleep by now.

The center of the dark void I was staring at was getting wider, and my heart inside was raging to be out as I stumbled like a blindfolded towards the window. I kept my eyes open as I counted my heartbeats, and listened to the white noise Father made as he locked the outdoor gates. He had always been a nocturnal creature who creeped and wandered about the house at nighttime. When he's back inside, I'd be left with no mere chance of fleeing with his careful watch, and my fright of getting caught. Lingering any longer won't do, it's time I left. I knew that much.

Opening the window, slowly, I was welcomed by a delicate breeze that seemed to be telling me, "Your mother won't hear, your –father won't see. Rejoice in relief and jump.' and jump I did. My parents forbade me of going to the Celibate Ceremony where single girls met for a spiritual rituals. But for the first time in my life, I venture out of my nest, proudly, and it feels rather glorious.

Landing hard on my feet on the concrete of the backyard, I held no hesitation as I turned on my heels towards the untold destiny that lurked far in the bushes of talking trees.

It had been fifty years since the Celibate Ceremony was held last. My grand–father had ordered to stop the festival for once and for all. With one of a many, my grandfather had taken a big secret with him down to the dirt, and like all of them it remained untold– simply, a dead secret. All I gathered was that his orders were like bullets around the village: once fired, they never returned backwards. And his order to stop the ceremony was no difference.

Holding with both hands my chest as I ran, I stopped to take a final glance at the mansion in the far distance. I could see my curtain swaying and our big house snoring— except for that dim light coming from the far end of my father's office. As usual he was not yet abed. It killed me down to my core seeing him bothered and restless for our safety and our well being. I knew he was going to be mad, but was it not worth the try?

Was I bidding it all farewell, or was it just a matter of time when I returned home safely? They would offer no absolution. No mercy. And all I shall be is a sacrifice made in the name of honor, freedom and, I dare say, happiness. I shall be doomed and withered. But, at least, living whilst dying.

I pushed the morbid thoughts away and tried to remember the way to the bushes, where the spirit of The Mother took place of abode.

Entering the backyard of our neighbor, Mrs. Tumble, I had to climb the fence of roses to the other side- to the path leading to the spooky woods. The thorny roses that held themselves together high with pride and triumph for the lookers and admirers were naught for me but a liability. My dress was all covered with thorns, and if my escape managed to go unnoticed tonight, come morning this damage to the dress won't make me much fortunate.

Earlier, Ophelia –my older sister– before she went to meet her fiancé I had urged her to take the box along and bury it somewhere only both of us knew, so no one could find it in my room. The spot, where she left it, was near, and I was more than ready to start digging. Finding it, at last, I brought it out of its small grave, and started clearing the dirt off of it. The two larks despite their wounds looked peaceful. looking at them was rather disheartening, but I knew The Mother knew best.

She had all my faith.

I looked again at the lark, that had followed me ever since the moment I unlatched my window and jumped down. It was keeping me company, and I was glad. If I survived this night, I might not return with a lover at my side, but surely, when years would have passed by and I would be sat pondering about one breezy summer night that was full of magic, I'd be happy to remember the friend I had by my side; I would look upon this night with a sad recognition as when a rhyme of a childhood lullaby, a kiss on a forehead, or a gentle caress on an elderly, wrinkled hand calls to mind a forgotten memory. I smiled at the lark, and gave it a silent promise that his brothers shall breathe again.

Tired from the daunting running, without thinking, I sat down on the dirt and leaned my back against the tall tree. The hard bark against my back made me relax, and I started thinking of how I were to lead The Ceremony tonight. The girls attending, I used to be friends with all of them when I was little before the accident that cursed me for life. Except for them, still, being single; I knew nothing about them. The guys, too, would be coming- or rather lurking in the shadows to witness the ritual and fight for the one their eyes set upon. I feared, their presence would make me act giddy.

"What's inside?" startling me; a rich, deep voice said right from behind me, and I flinched, feeling the little hairs on my neck stand erect in reflex. I was caught.