CHAPTER 4.1

CHAPTER 4.1

My tears have no plans to stop from falling. An overflowing liquid from my eyes through my cheeks down to my chin is full of pain. I felt numb inside my upper right chest, every time I cry like my heart is being squeezed, I can never explain the extreme pain it has.

Every time I draw strength to breathe properly, at the same time, my heart aches as if scratching when I breathe and press my hand to my heart. At a young age, this was probably the most painful thing I ever felt.

If I was to be asked, it would probably be more painful than for any other reason. It's just the pain that you thought your family would receive and truly love you. They will just destroy and embarrass you to other people.

Earlier, Greta tapping my back with her hand caressing my shoulder down to the back.

"Stay calm Triah, you might not be able to breathe properly again." worried voice as Greta said.

I sniffed, but I could not breathe properly because my nose was congested due to excessive crying.

"H-How w-will I live G-Greta, I-I feel like heaven and earth are covering me. I feel like I was betrayed by my own imagination. I thought that I was not included in the road trips because they were worried about me. But the truth is, they are ashamed of me, I hope... I was not born." I passionately admit to how I really feel today.

I kept on crying, remembering Trisha's words earlier. Was that really how they embarrass me? What is my fault? Is it a sin to be like this? As far as I know, it is not a sin to have such a plus-size body.

I stopped crying because the door to my room roughly opened.

"Mom, what-"

Mommy marched towards me as if furious.

"Why are you so stubborn young girl!" Mommy pulled my hair.

I saw daddy begging mommy to stop but she can't let go.

Trisha, on the other hand, had her arms wrapped around her chest and was still snobbish looking at my behavior.

"Mom, it h-hurts, o-ouch mom, mom." my tears started to flow again because my scalp was so sore from mommy's tweaking.

"Are you hurt?" mommy stroked my hair and stopped shaking my head slightly but she raised my hair so I also raised my body and head so that the pulling on the scalp would not be too painful.

"That's the only thing that suits you! It's because of the hardness of your head! I told you before to never leave your room. But what? Huh?" while mommy was busy preaching to me, mommy kept raising my hair. I felt the intense pain now.

"But what did you do? You disobeyed us. If only your twin hadn't reported me I wouldn't have known." I looked at Trisha but she just ignored me. And I also looked at daddy and I asked him for help. But I also did not receive any help.

"Answer!" I can already imagine mom's tendon when she shouted at me so angrily.

"I-I just went to- ouch mom!" mommy pulled my hair. Daddy scolded her.

"What are you doing? Our daughter is still talking." Daddy protested.

Mommy just stared at me with her big eyes.

"It hurts? Why? Didn't you think about it when I reminded you earlier? Don't you think of what I can do to you when you disobey me? What now? You wanted me to hurt you more? You know why I chose to just lift your hair instead?" mommy is really mad at me.

It's like I'm just being bullied, in fact, I am still their child. And I am the twin of her favorite child. Yes, I accepted the fact that her favorite daughter is Trisha. Oh! It's wrong. They... Daddy and mom.

"W-Why?" I no longer have the strength to fight.

"Because… I know I lose, when I punch your fats, you look like a punching bag. Because maybe you won't get affected when I punch you. I’m sure my hand will just bounce on you. Your fat is poisonous." she paused for a moment at the insults.

"All my life. I regret why my daughter became twin. Ah, it's wrong, it's okay to be a twin. But I hope Trisha and you were both sexy, beautiful, and smart." she shouted on my face.

"I'm smart mom," I insisted.

"Huh? Yes, you are smart. You are just smart!" mommy shouted.

"I hope you don't just come out of my stomach! And nothing will put me on shame when people are around me, asking why my daughter so fat. Pwe! You know what I answered to them?" she asked.

"We were conceived by a pig. You are a pig. A pig!"

Maybe because I was so full of annoyance and self-embarrassment I threw my hand towards mommy's body so mommy was thrown to the floor.     

"Ahh!" mommy moaned loudly as she sat on the floor and daddy led her.

"Rick! Stand me up! I'm thrilled with this fat girl!"

"Nalissa, just calm down. Triah is still your child,"

"Calm down? Rick? Are you blind? That daughter of yours is throwing me away. And one more thing! How can I calm down if that child has no respect?"

"You! If I were you. You'd be safe and you could leave this residence."

"Nalissa!"

"Rick! You know what kind of habit I have. What comes out of my mouth, that's it. And it's up to you if you help that child of yours. I just want to. I will never see that fat again---that kid!"

"You! Go away, and never try to come back! Because you have no space in this house. And maybe when you leave. You will lose weight."

"Nalissa!" daddy shouted as he chased mommy out of my room.

My twin left some words.

"How is that Triah, it looks like you will really lose weight in the future. Be careful on the journey of your life. Send my regards to the street persons when you leave, bye-bye twinnie." and the bitch gone!

Unbeknownst to me, Aling Milan and Greta also entered my room. And comforted me.

"Hija, shh…" Manang massaged my back. I cried again in Manang's clothes because she hugged me. Greta is also hugging me.

"Triah, what are your plans now?" Greta whispered sadly.

"Mother, maybe you can do something to help Triah, my friend is miserable. She has no place to stay. Maybe, she will be there with us in the province first, it would be better there because our animals are with us. And my cousins." I looked at Manang's face but could still see his great sadness at what happened.

"Greta, I wanted so bad---but I can't, Triah... I'm sorry hija, I want to let you stay at our house in the province but. Your mom will fire us when she found out that one of us helped you. I'm sorry, Triah,”

There were tears welling up in the back of her eyes. With just a few clicks, it will fall apart.

"Mother,"