What's about to Drizzle

"Marry me, Cassidy."

I looked at him dumbfounded.

"What the fuck?"

Naiinis na tiningnan ko siya. The heck, binuo niya pa talaga ang pagtawag sa akin ng gano'n?! And did I just... h-heard him right?

"Marry me," ulit niya. "You're pregnant right? Ba't mo tinago sa--"

"No," matigas na sabi ko habang sinusubukang ipanatag ang aking paghinga. My heart was beating harder but that doesn't remove the searing pain I'm starting to feel.

I looked at him. He was studying me, so I held my head up high.

How I wish I could say yes to him. How I wish he could be the man waiting for me in aisle. How I wish I can welcome him again. I've been leaving my walls down for him but that only left my heart unguarded. Vulnerable.

I let him in so deep it caused me wounds of pain that keeps bleeding everytime I remember who I was to him.That at the end of the day, I'm not the first on his list.

Should I settle for that? I smiled bitterly. I felt myself tearing up kaya umayos ako ng tayo. I won't shed tears in front of him. But avoiding to cry cause pain in my heart and my mind.

God, akala ko ba tapos na 'to?

"But--"

"I'm leaving," putol ko dahil ano mang oras ay alam kong tutulo na ang luha ko. Damn pregnancy hormones! It's making me emotional!

But even before I turned away from him, he managed to hold me on my arms. He was still looking seriously at me, trying to catch my eyes which I prevented from looking directly on his.

I just need to... end this. Ayoko nang umiyak sa harapan niya. Ayoko nang magpakatanga na kunyari wala pero meron.

I heaved a sigh as I fixed my composure. I steadied my lips that's been trembling earlier. I willed my tears to fall later but not now.

Nang alam kong kaya ko nang makipaglaban sa mga titig niya ay hinuli ko iyon. I looked straight into his eyes so he will understand every word I'm about to say.

"Nabuntis mo lang naman ako. Hindi mo naman ako mahal. So, ba't tayo magpapakasal?"

The moment he stilled on his post was the same moment I felt my fragile heart fell into the ground. Shattered into tiny pieces, I don't even know if I'm able to fix it again.

His reaction was holding too much... rejection.

I took that moment to get rid of his grip. Hindi naman ako nahirapan. I instantly faced my back into him and smiled bitterly.

He can't even hold on me for a moment. He doesn't even follow me.

Tears started to make its way on my checks.

Damn, why am I allowing you to hurt me like this?