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Last Updated : 2020-10-27
10Synopsis
Despite of being cold and cranky, Levi cares a lot. The unexplainable ability of him to lucid dream helped him to discover how and why people committed suicide. However, he didn’t expect that he would be using his gift to know the reasons behind why his friends and loved ones took away their own lives. The aftermath of it is slowly killing him—he must be saved.
Chapter 1
Prologue
LEVI'S POV
I turned my head to the window on my right side where I could see the students passing by through its transparent surface—a boy and a girl with elated faces holding each other's hands while walking on the school hallways. My lips twitched as I got myself back to the book I was currently reading.
"Aren't they aware that doing PDA should not be seen around the campus? They're obviously violating the 500-meter-away rule from school campus! How annoying!" I mumbled to myself as I turned the book's page next.
"Ige mwoya?" What's that?
I glanced at Caius; my seatmate, buddy, and my dormmate. His eyebrows arched and his neck was getting long by looking outside the window as he asked me in Korean which I had come to memorize its Filipino translation. He would ask me that question everytime he would feel curious—no—much more like being a gossip monger.
"Stop asking me in Korean, will you?" I whined.
"Aigo!" Aww! he said teasingly, "A Levi feeling envious."
"Shut up!"
He chuckled. "Ne, alget seum nida," Yes, I understand, he said as he bowed his head. Feeling so irritated, I snorted.
"Tsk!"
I raised my hand and acted to hit him, but he just laughed as I tried to focus on reading again. After a moment, he leaned on my shoulders as his eyes landed on the book I was holding.
"So, you're now interested about lucid dreaming?" he said after he saw what I was reading that time.
I nudged him and said, "Stop bothering me, okay? Go away!"
"Nappeuda neo," You're bad, he pouted.
"Neorang yaegihago sipji ana," I don't want to talk to you, I replied as I looked over the pages.
"Jeongmal motdwaesso! Jinjja!" You're really mean! Seriously! he shouted.
"Dwaesseo. Dwaesseo, o?" Enough. Enough, okay?
He just stuck his tongue out on me several times as he crossed his arms. So childish!
"Make sense, Caius."
"Alright. Typically," he suddenly said, then sat properly on his chair, fingers on his chin, "when we dream, we are not conscious that the dream is not real. As far as I remember, there is this character in the movie Inception quite aptly puts it, "Well, dreams, they feel real when we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up, then we realize that something was strange," pretty cool, right?"
He got my attention.
I immediately closed the book, then looked at him.
"By any chance, do you experienced lucid dreaming?" I asked.
"Me? Yeah, once," he said as he nodded. "It's when I wanted to see my mother who took away her own life when I was still a kid," he added.
His words struck me with a sudden pain in my chest. I could suddenly feel the same pain I felt years ago.
"S-sorry," I stuttered as I cleared my throat. That was awful.
"Geokjeongma," Don't worry, he said, "It's okay. At least, I had come to know her reasons to end her own life," he added as he looked at his wrist watch.
"Anyway, I'll be right back!" he said before leaving the classroom.
"Caius! Is it—ugh!" I shook my head. "His mother took away her own life to end the pain, but the pain for Caius has just started after it happened. I wonder if he's really okay now," I mumbled to myself as I kept the book inside my bag.
Was it the only last resort... lucid dreaming, a way to know what would be the reasons of a certain person that happened to take away their own life without giving any hint? Was it the only last thing that we could possibly do? Like what Caius did, it was my last option when I lost my mother when she jumped off of a 10-story building of a city hall and died.
Every eighty-five minutes, someone in the United Kingdom had taken away their own life, but what do you think would happen to those who had left behind? The aftermath of it? Nothing could take away the pain of loss—I was thinking—It was killing me how your mind could make you feel so worthless.
I was thinking, what could I've had possibly done to help you? So, before you go, was there something I could have said to make your heartbeat better?
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Malignant Sadness Chapter 18
LEVI'S POVExploring my own dreams was an exciting for me to do, and just as the moment I realized that it was a dream, I didn't feel any fear at all. It was probably around 3 in the morning, and I was right as I glanced at my wristwatch.I was standing in the middle of an old road with no sight of coming vehicles nor houses around. There were no street lights except for one broken lamp post near me, seemed like the place was abandoned. It was airy and eerie, and the moment that a cool breeze blew down on me, I hugged myself. Only the little light coming from the moon made me see a little what was around."Hello?" I called, but no one answered. I took small steps as I brushed my shoulders."Does anyone hear me?" I called once more, but still, no one replied. I was like walking in an endless road with nothing to see, but just blackness."What am I doing here?" I mumbled to myself, thinking why
Last Updated : 2020-10-27Malignant Sadness Chapter 17
LEVI'S POV"Please... p-please don't leave me, Levi. J-just stay b-beside me... always.""Please... p-please don't leave me, Levi. J-just stay b-beside me... always.""Please... p-please don't leave me, Levi. J-just stay b-beside me... always."Sitting on the sofa with just boxers on, I leaned my naked back against it, my legs were widespread as I turned the pages of the book I was holding as if I was counting it—but really not. Something was upsetting me."Levi?" Caius called out as he stopped from browsing his phone."Oh?" I answered lazily. I remained turning the pages of the book from beginning to end, then from the end back to the first page."Something happened?""I'm not sure.""Are you okay?""Do I look like okay?""What's wrong with you?""I don't know.""Really?""Yeah.""How many hands do you have?""Ten—oh
Last Updated : 2020-10-26Malignant Sadness Chapter 16
LEVI'S POV"Seoyeon?" I whispered under my breath as I stood up."L-Levi..." she said between her sobs.I was just standing with my mouth agape when she came running towards me and gave me a tight hug. I was out of words as I glanced at Adalee. She was gulping as she slowly managed to stand.Clenching her fist so hard that she almost crumpled the handkerchief like a paper, she uttered, "I'm... I'm l-leaving."She turned her back, but before she could be able to take a step, I said, "Adalee... please—" She cut me off.She said, "I'll r-return the h-handkerchief tomorrow. See y-you." She didn't even bother herself to turn her head back. It felt like I was defeated of some sort when I had nothing to do, but to watch her leaving the hall. I wanted to follow her, but I just couldn't leave Seoyeon like this, crying. I badly wanted to chase her and tell her what I feel, but Seoyeon needed me. Damn it
Last Updated : 2020-10-25Malignant Sadness Chapter 15
LEVI'S POVThe moment the three left the hall, slowly, I inched towards Adalee.Scratching my nape as I moved a little more closer to her, I asked, "Are you... are you okay?" My voice was breaking the silence.She tilted her head as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Her eyes and nose were red, probably because of crying, and I felt guilty for a second."I'm... I'm okay," she mumbled, sniffing and rubbing her nose.I slid my hand inside my pocket, fishing for my handkerchief. I said, "Here." Offering her my handkerchief was a little help for her nose.Stretching her arm, she took it and started blowing her nose. Seeing her, a smile suddenly wanted to appear on my face. I just bit my lower lip to stop myself and said, "Stop crying already. I didn't bring any extra handkerchief for your nose."Blowing her nose hard for the last time, she forced a smile. "I'm s-sorry. I messed up... with your handker
Last Updated : 2020-10-25Malignant Sadness Chapter 14
CAIUS' POVI finally drifted back to consciousness. Rubbing my eyes and nose as I moved upright the bed, I tried to look around. Clinic. Even I stared blurredly, I could clearly tell that it was Pino. He was sitting near the door, browsing his phone.
Malignant Sadness Chapter 13
LEVI’S POV“How’s Caius?” Pino asked when he arrived at the clinic.“He’s fine. It’s good that he’s calm and resting now,” I answered.“He’s a Linonophobe.”We both turned our head
Malignant Sadness Chapter 12
LEVI’S POV“Are you mad?” I said, almost raising my voice. I stopped from walking and turned to her.She halted and tilted her head to face me. “I’m not the one who’s mad here. It’s you!&rd
Malignant Sadness Chapter 11
LEVI’S POV"I know right," I replied as I grabbed both of our school bags, then paid our drinks.“I can’t walk properly, right? What happened, Levi? Did I d-damaged my b-brain already?” he asked as I helped him walked outside the
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To Readers
Jiang Sese was in utter disbelief after hearing all of that.
She was already hurt after losing her child. Now that she had learned the truth, she felt such mental torment that she was about to go mad. Even her emotions were going haywire, so much so that she was becoming hysterical English
