Chapter 4-Moving on

Emily

Three Months Later-Emily's leaving for College.

"Emily, you need to let me go." I read those seven words as tears rain down my face, reading those words tear at me, they might as well dig claws in my chest and rip my heart out. I can't breathe, my world is crumbling around me, Damien is everything but he doesn't want me anymore. How can I go on without him? I slide off my bed and land on my butt, with bent legs and my arms wrapped around them. I bury my head into knees to quirt the sobs wracking my body.

"These are for you," Damien says with a nervous shift on his feet. I think it's so adorable when he does that. Taking the beautiful red roses and white calla lilies from him I bring them up to my nose; velvet petals tickle my skin. The bouquet carries a floral and evocative fragrance and reminds me of a freshly fallen rainstorm. I’m taken back to when Damien first kissed me; his lips felt  like the soft silk of the petals caressing my cheek.

Damien and I have been together a month now and tonight is the winter formal. I've been so excited about this dance, so mom, Danika and I all went shopping the day Damien asked me. His eyes roam over my body and his pupils dilate and glaze over with desire, my handsome date just stares at me, caramel eyes so intense I feel shivers go down my spine. After what felt like an eternity he finally speaks.

"You look beautiful Em." I smile and swing my hips side to side, allowing the dress to flow at my feet. I feel like a princess in the dress with a strapless sweetheart neckline with a light aquamarine blue tulle fabric. The thing I love most is the lace-up back and white flower appliqué. I wanted it before even putting it on; Danika said the color goes well with my creamy complexion and bright blue eyes. My hair is pulled to the side in soft small curls with a silver barrette.

"Thank you, Damien. You look really handsome." He's wearing a three-piece black suit with a expensive button up shirt and a black tie. His suit clings to his muscular body, showing off his deliciously sexy body. Damien can wear sweatpants, with a ratty old T-shirt and he'd still pull of looking as good as he does right now. 

At seventeen he has the body of a twenty-year-old who spends every day of his life in a gym, which he does. I’m very lucky I get to be his girl; he says he’s the lucky one. Damien helps me with my wrap and holds his arm out for me to take. Dan comes into the room wearing a grin and an identical suit to his best friend. It just happened to be that the boys both picked out the same suit, but it does fit since Danika and I have the same dress. Only hers is blood red with black lace. Despite my brother’s grin, he looks a little flustered and I wonder what kind of drama his girlfriend has pulled this time.

However, he stays his goofy self no matter what she’s done. Dan has this motto that life is too short to stay angry so he never lets anything get him down. He’s one of the happiest people I know and everyone has had a hard time staying man or unhappy when Dan is around. It’s a bit funny though because Dan and Damien are such polar opposites, but I bet my boyfriend would be the same way if his dad didn’t use him as a punching bag on a daily basis.

Damien puts on a strong front for everyone, especially, me but I see it, the pain he hides.

We need to leave; Danika is in a panic and needs Emily’s help.” I fight back a groan because she really doesn’t need help she just wants to see if I outshine her.  I roll my eyes and we all pile into Dan’s brand new ocean blue Rubicon jeep.

"Emily. Emily." A little girl calls out. "Emily, wake up." It feels like someone is pushing me, and that's when I realized I was dreaming. I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I'm alone in my bedroom at home, the blue paint still on the walls and the posters of all the concerts I've been too. The pictures of my family and friends are plastered all over my vanity mirror, and my music box with the little ballerina sits on my white dresser. The homemade bedspread mom and I made last year still covers my bed.

I wanted something to take to my college dorm that reminds me of home so we gathered up all my pictures of my childhood and turned into fabric squares. Glancing over at the quilt one picture stands out to me and tears spring to my eyes, it’s one of my favorite pictures of the two of us. I’m sitting on the dock at the lake with my feet in the water while Damien’s head is my lap. I’m running my fingers through his hair while he looks up at me. It’s the way he watches me, liquid gold orbs so focused and passionate.

Picking myself up off the floor, I place my hand over my small belly, and wipe moisture of my cheek with the other.

Too many tears have been shed for our past; it’s time for me to move on.  If Damien and I are meant to be then it will happen. I haven’t told anyone about our baby yet because I feel like Damien needs to know first. I’m three in a half months a long now and have been lucky no one has noticed. I’m a small enough girl that I’ve been able to hide my belly with baggie clothes. I’m also eighteen and don’t need my parents consent so I to see a doctor.

Of course, I should tell my parents, but I'm scared of what they will think, I'm afraid they won't see me the same way and that I may lose their love and respect. Someday I will have to come clean and thank goodness I have a few months to figure out my next move. For now, I need to pack because tomorrow is the day I start over.