Thirty

2020-09-16 11:26:02

"I just want you to know that you're very special... and the only reason I'm telling you is that I don't know if anyone else ever has."

~Stephen Chbosky,

When my eyes open again, I find myself in a bathtub and although my eyes is kind of blur I can hear the voices of both Rebecca and Judith and hands all over my body, washing and scrubbing me. A fear rises up in me, not for being naked or being washed, but for wha

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Keenan Hilton's Chaos Forty

"Like an echo in the wind, love had come to him a second time and he was more than grateful it had. It meant risking again the loss of the woman he loved, but there was no help for it. He could not live without her."~Regan Walke "Vary?" He calls a little surprised and a little relieved as he shuts the door and toss his keys on the counter. She's wearing a white gown reaching a little below her thigh, displaying her toned long legs and it takes all Keenan's might to not get distracted by them so he asks, "What are you doing here?" She gets up from the bed and walks towards him, "Trying to make amends." Keenan is puzzled, nevertheless he does not try to interrupt her, he just listens. She pauses half way towards him, "I shouldn't have ran away the way I did that night and I have blamed you for so long I forgot I also played a part in it.... the greatest part." Keenan shakes

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Thirty nine

“Loneliness is a long, unbearable pain….There was never a place for me in the scheme of things….I had become a living fantasy on a theme in dark, endless dirges….I made another world, and real men would enter it and they would never really get hurt at all in the vivid, unreal laws of the dream. I caused dreams which caused death. This is my crime.” ~Anonymous. Three months later.*** Keenan tosses and turns on the large, but awfully lonely bed and after three hours of trying to convince himself why he needs to sleep, he pulls himself up and reaching for my his phone on the lamp stand beside his bed he picks it and dial the motel Christel's line. He waits a moment and in less than a three seconds later the call is picked and a feminine voice come through at the end of the line after the first ring. "Hello Christel motel customer service line, always open f

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Thirty eight

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”~Washington Irving One week later "Why am I hacking into their system again?" Rory asks Keenan with a curios tone of voice as he opens and begins to access some information on the computer screen. Keenan who realises Rory has succeeded in accessing the bank security information moves closer to him. "Because it's one week and two days since Vary left and I have to find out where she is that way I'll be really okay." He answer with honesty in his voice. After Vary disappeared from the hospital a week ago and Keenan had no other choice but to try looking for her the best way he can. He pays a visit to Alian, Vary’s very good friend b

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Thirty seven

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”~Anne Lamotts Vary consciousness a few days later and her blurrily eyes opens and as she search around she realises that she in a strange and empty room. Panic ceases her being as she struggle to move herself, but she’s for some reason is impaled to the bed. Her head us still fuzzy and her body us weak and she cannot do much but struggle to get free. The door opens and she hears footstep in the room, coming close to her bed side she continues to struggles in order to get free and run away, but

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Thirty six

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”~Nelson Mandela Tobi turn around to look at them and Varisha sees the devil ish smile he always had which she had always hated. “What is this?” Vary demands, her voice low and weary as she stares at Tobi in horror. There is fear and panic in her eyes and the last thing she wants right now is him anywhere near her or Keenan, but here he is standing in her home. Keenan wraps his strong arms around her waist and she slowly looks up at him wondering why on earth he would bring him to her. Why would he do this to her? Keenan is oblivious to whats going on in her head, but he notices the tension that has built within her, and so he smiles. “I know that you think what happened in the past is y

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Thirty five

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”~Marcus Aurelius "What happened Keenan?" Rory asks, as he walks down to meet him at the waiting room. "Is Varisha okay? Where is she?" Keenan is pacing around aimlessly when he sees Rory close by, he runs goes over an wraps his arms around him in a tight hug. Rory puts his arms around Keenan for strength and support and pats his shoulder gently. Keenan pulls away and sits down and Rory bends down beside him, "You sounded so worried on the phone." He begins, he was concerned about his friend. More tears roll down Keenan eyes and he bury his face into his hands. "Vary was involved in an accident and the doctor told me I would have to choose because so far they can only save one. I told them to do all they can, but also

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Twelve

"Sex is an act which is not possible in self- abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value.

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Eleven

"I’m never ever giving you up, I’m never ever leaving you. Instead, I'll forever and ever love and cherish you. I now know that miracles do happen because I met you. You are simply an angel on earth."~Anonymous

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Ten

"Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they’re taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment – j

Keenan Hilton's Chaos Nine

“Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person’s sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of

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