[14] Living Monster

◒ Imogen ◒

I am Imogen Mcmaster.

This was my first time staying out of all my friends and family for this long. At least I should say only friends. I doubt if I really had the things called the family at all.

Though I forcefully entered into her life, from the first moment I laid my eyes on her, there was something about her pulling me towards her.

My fascination could be fatal to her. It's not she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I have seen more beautiful women than her who did not hesitate to sell their bodies for money.

I have two friends in my life, one brother, father and Mother.

Now the word "Mother" was a luxury for me.

Do I really have one? The answer would be I don't know. Actually, everyone has this answer to my petty question except me.

My real mother's name was Kennedy, she was an Irish woman who used to work in one of many Mcmaster bar. My father fell for her beauty. Slowly temptation turned into love and the final result was the very unfortunate me. "Why unfortunate?!" That you would get to know soon.

Though my father was a Mafia Leader, he was a very passionate man and used to love both my mother and his wife a lot. My mother had everything except the title "Wife". But my father never treated my mother as a mistress. He managed to take care of her every need.

But people always longed for the things they could never have. Like my mother. She was jealous of my father's legal wife.

When I was only three, my mother used to beat me a lot just to overtook the attention of my father. Whenever she used to beat me, my father would definitely come to see me with a sugar candy stick. That was the only sweetest thing I had in my bitter childhood.

If by chance I would want to eat anything that would infuriate my mother and result in beating the shit out of me. She starved me for days without even a single drop of water.

According to her, I was the only mistake that ruined her life. She could get anything. But because of me what she got was just a title of the "Mistress of a Mafia Leader"

I lost five years of childhood in my own mother's hand. Later my mother was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, a fatal degenerative brain disorder.

Her behavior got more abnormal and aggressive than before.

My mother died after one month.

Before dying she touched my jaw, my be this was her first time to see and realize that she had a son without thinking about herself. She was too engrossed counting of the missing puzzles of her life that she didn't even notice her cruelty snatched my childhood innocency and turned me into a monster.

I could clearly remember her tears, her fucking fake tears that she shaded while stroking my cheeks, my hair, and my jaw.

Tears were streaming down her face like torrents, "Will you mourn for me?"

She cried more and more, but all this had no effect on me. My father tried to create a soft affectional bridge between me and my mother. But what he didn't know was I hate him too. He knew everything yet he never tried to save me from his lover. He loved his legal wife more than me.

For any child, their mother's face might resemble some fairy to them. But to the innocent little me, my mother's face was just a monster face that wanted to engulf me.

My mother died on that very day. Because of excessive crying, her brain nerve shrunk and it caused her death.

I was so happy seeing her lifeless body. That little me jumped in excitement clapping his both hand, I even distributed my new and only box of chocolate that my father bought for me among every person presented there.

"she would not be able to beat me anymore, Isn't it father? Now I could eat whenever I want, I could play with whomever I want." I queried curiously.

My father looked at the little naive happy me with his red teary eyes. He broke into tears hugging me.

He took me with him to his palace. My mother and I used to live in a bungalow which was sufficient for the two of us. I was too happy in my own world that I getting away from one beast, I was now caught by a predator.

I still don't understand why she wanted to be his wife. She could have ditched him, abort me even before my birth rather than torturing me and forced me to live like a pierced monster.

The mansion that my father used to live with his wife was really huge. My stuff was placed in its west wing which was really equal to a small mansion itself.

My father introduced me to his wife, the pure beauty Mrs.Louisa McMaster. Her long brown hair was unable to cover her big eight-month pregnant stomach.

I looked at the women very carefully at least how much that five years of me could do. She was indeed beautiful. Her dark blue eyes were filled with pure innocence.

I saw something scary and not friendly in those angelic eyes that were hidden behind that chastity.

But for my expert small blue eyes, it was quite simple to catch the non-friendly responses that she was having against me.

After all, that's the only thing I had learned from my mother since when I was only two years old.

For a few days, she was extremely good towards me that I wasn't scared of her anymore...

But I think I was destined to be kicked.

Father used to teach me that I should call her mother. But Mrs.McMaster used to beat me with a thick stick whenever I called her mother and I stopped addressing her anything rather than "Signora (Madam)"

Soon my brother was born but I wasn't allowed to touch my newborn baby brother.

Previously Mrs.Mcmaster used to beat me behind my father's back. But after my brother was born,  She beat me in front of him.

My father couldn't oppose his wife's. And the same thing happened again. Once again he didn't save me.

Slowly time passes...

My little brother grown-up, Mrs.Mcmaster feared that I might destroy or grasp her son's right. So she separated from him.

Slowly I was almost isolated and would have been crazy,

If my two friends would never have appeared in my life. Now I don't need anyone. They are my only family now.

When I was only eighteen, my father announced me as his heir and made me sit on his throne which she couldn't accept in any way.

She wanted to make her son sit on this throne. That's where she again played and this time it broke us apart.

In spite of all obstruction, we brothers made a strong bond with each other. He loved me. Actually, he used to love me a lot. But Mrs.Mcmaster again used her mean ways to separate us completely.

We got all apart...Now we are staying in our own boundaries.

No one is allowed to enter the boundaries of others.

Thus that might be best for all of us.

But sometimes I felt guilty not to hold my brother's hand, to let him leave with his misconceptions. Maybe I was angry with him cause he chose to trust his mother instead of me.

Maybe I thought I was someone important to him. "But the question is was I?!" I wish Mrs. Mcmaster hadn't played that game with me, that just didn't break us brothers apart, it did break me too. She took another important person from my life whom I wanted to cling to in this chaotic life of mine.

Now only with a heavy sigh, I could try to ignore that pain.

Sometimes I got surprised at my heart it was broke, betrayed, pierced, burnt yet it feels, it longed for the warmth.

But with Maze things are different. She entered into my life without even knowing.

She kept her word and took care of me without any trouble.

People have started looking for me. Now it's my turn to keep my words. I have to leave as soon as I can. She shouldn't get into any trouble because of me.