Chapter 4

CIANA

August 18

03

I wish I never invited him to Jetroe’s party. Something happened.

The message is surprisingly very short today. I feel a little bit tired since I only sleep like 4 hours. I got eventually drowned by crazy thoughts. At the same time, my head is too slow to figure things out. Now the thing that’s bothering me most, is the thought about the future. Airo won’t probably make it there. Does it mean, the sender lives in the future and she knows what will actually happen next?

The sender, is she my future self?

Okay. Now it’s crazy. I wanna stop myself from thinking about it. My imaginative thinking has intruded my reality. I only believe in one reality. There is no such thing as a future self.

Again, I can’t justify my thoughts, which is which. I don’t know what to believe.

After the first class, I straightly walk to the library to study for the topic I less understand. I search for the book but something else caught my interest. The book about the parallel universe is waving at me. I stretch my hand to reach it but a taller guy already steals it fast.

I look at him in disbelief. It was Airo. He looks at me abruptly and ignore my presence just like he always do. 

“Ciana.” I almost jump when someone whispered my name near my ears. I slap his shoulder and continue searching for the book. Now he is tailing me.

“You should go to my party tomorrow night. I’ve met a lot of new friends, I bet I have more than you do,” he said with his voice as low as possible. I freeze and look at him. His wide smile is telling me how excited he is. A party? 

The text that I received this morning is about a party.

“Hey!”

“I-I will.”

“Bring some friends if you have.” He walks away backwards facing me still wearing his crazy smile.

My hand pulls a book near me without looking at it. “Okay.” 

“I will send you home today after classes.” He bumps on a shelf, so now, he is completely watching his steps. I look at the book and put it back to where it is originally placed and takes the one that I can use. 

I roam my eyes to find where the loner, Airo Sebastian, is sitting. He’s on the very corner, reading the book the way he does just like the last time I see him. I wonder why no one is telling him, it will possibly damage the book. The librarian doesn’t even notice him.

I decided to sit in front of him.

“You know what? I’m the first person who saw that book, today.” I lean on the table, resting my elbows on the top of the book that I have. I watch him flip his book’s pages. Now my right hand reaches my cheek. 

This guy looks so serious about what his reading. My eyes are focused on the available sight I could reach with that book covering him. I can count how many times he blinks while he is reading a page. He doesn’t look like he is conscious about me staring at him like this. His normal movements is sending me a message that it won’t work with him.

I don’t usually stare at people for long. It’s just that, I would like to read him through his actions as if he is speaking to me.

He glances at me and stops to look at me straight into the eyes. His stares is like telling me that he is good at stare battles. I blink and avert my eyes to no place particular.

“Wow. You won that easy.”

I started flipping the pages of my book but I couldn’t concentrate. I close it and look at him again.

“You seriously won’t talk to me?” He places his book down and looks at me as if it’s boring to talk to someone like me.

“Okay. I want that book.” He is just glued staring at me with the same face. He is too emotionless and is like an expressionless robot build just for display . I can’t seem to look at them straight in a minute so my eyes gets to look somewhere else, then him.

Why is it that he’s stares is like he is ripping my clothes off, skinning me alive, and exposing my depths and soul. I gulp twice. No. He doesn’t seem a criminal, he is too handsome to be one.

“I wanna know if it’s possible. Is there a universe exactly the same with just a small difference which changed a whole future?”

His face seemed to lighten a bit. 

“What do you think?” Wow. This is the second time he ever release his precious voice. If he didn’t spoke to me since before, I might think he is a mute.

“I actually don’t know. Hmm. If it’s possible, does it mean a vast number of pasts, presents and futures?” I don’t know what I’m saying. It just pops on my head.

“It could be. If it’s possible, would you talk to the other you?” he asked and I was like---Woah! We are actually talking right now! For real!

“I would. Would you? And what will you talk to your other self about?”

“I won’t but if he’s from the past of that universe, I will warn him about all my mistakes.”

Now I could see him like a book. We see his cover but we don’t know what’s in the pages. Today, I think I flipped on his cover and starts with the first page. Our conversation lengthened unexpectedly. We only talked about the parallel universe stuff and I feel like we can act as good friends. His face is neutral and I think I am getting used to it the more he talks.

“Do you have plans tomorrow night?” I asked him while we are returning the books.

“Nothing.”

“Jetroe is having a--” I suddenly remembered the text. “Never mind.” I walk away immediately. 

I want to invite him but something inside me is telling me not to.

“A party?” I stop walking but I can’t face him. “Everyone’s talking about it. I can go.”

My eyes widened. This is bad.