Seven

It was weakened already. And on weeks he felt like, Abba drove back home to spend time with his parents and younger brother. This week was among those lucky weekends. Because when he started lecturing in the federal university, Jalingo, he spent two months straight without coming back home and hardly called Mama. She had to cry to him before he drove back home and spent four days before he went back. In his words, being a lecturer was nothing less hard and time-consuming than being a doctor. His words.

She was cleaning the electric set in the living room and was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice when he walked into the living room or how he stood there, staring at her. It was only when Nasir walked into the living room from the boyquaters that she heard him called his name.

“Abba!” he called out and hugged him. He was truly happy to see him home. 

Abba smiled widely and hugged Nasir back, but his eyes were fixed intently on Aisha. Whom was awkwardly staring at them, with a known look in her eyes. Because she knew this was the son Mama always talked about. And he was that brother Dr Nasir always had something to say about. But the look he had in his eyes, she feared what would be the outcome of her life in this house as long as he lived here and her as well. It was a look full of hatred and disgust. Like a child that had seen a new baby cradled in his mother's arms.

They broke their hug before Nasir looked at her direction, he smiled and Aisha smiled fleetingly. “Aisha, this is Abba. My older brother I've been telling you about. That leaves only Nana on the list of my siblings you haven't seen.” Nasir spoke to her, and she smiled again.

“Good Morning,” she greeted and took off her eyes from him. His look was burning her soul. It made her feel like he had seen beyond her lines to what she truly was and whose daughter she originally was.

Abba looked at Nasir and smiled at him, “I'll go to Mama, I haven't told her I'll be back this week. I know she'd be surprised to see me this week when I just left last week.” And he walked away, but he hated what that girl stirred in him. And that instant, he hated her.

Nasir walked over to where Aisha was dusting off stood there until she turned and looked at him. “Do you need anything, Dr?” she asked. No matter how Nasir would beg her to stop calling him that, she couldn't. She told him it was the first impression she had of him. But someday, she prayed she can change the name. And the first day she heard Mama called him 'Auta' which meant last born, she wanted that to be the name. When she spoke it out, he pouted his lips and said a big No, he wanted the Dr Now.

“I want to help you. Is there anything I can do?” he asked, looking around the living room. She had everything and everywhere cleaned.

She looked at him and shook her head, “You have nothing to do, Dr. I'm done with everything here. And you can't help in the kitchen, right?” She knew he had never, but she wanted to test him so she could laugh a bit.

She made it a mandatory on herself, to clean the house and cook on weekends. Mama did that during weekdays. Because Baba left for his office early, she had to wake up and prepare breakfast for him. But they all slept long when it was weekend, and Aisha asked Mama to rest fully that she'll take over. And she gladly accepted the offer.

“I'm sure Mama is done with breakfast, just let me finish what you started, Aisha.” He was being nice, Aisha knew. She thought maybe he felt bad because he saw her working in their house if only he could understand Mama had never asked her to do anything. All she did was willingly and also to take off the thoughts from her head.

She smiled and shook her head, finishing off the work. “I'm done with here, Dr And no, Mama isn't going to come out of her room today unless I'm the one that called her. Because I'll be the one to cook and clean on weekends. We had a deal.”

He straightened himself, “I'll help in the kitchen, then.” And like a clingy child, he followed her into the kitchen.

Aisha turned and saw him standing at the kitchen island. “Have a seat and watch all I'm going to do. You shouldn't touch anything unless I ask you to. I can't have a Dr sick.” She chuckled at the face he made.

“But I want to help, you're too young to cook for a whole family, Aisha.” He said and walked over to where she was bringing out all she would need for the breakfast. 

She turned and was now facing him, with her hands at akimbo, Aisha playfully glared at him. Over this week, she had become so close to Nasir that she felt he was the only wall she had to lean on for her broken self. He made her laughed more, smiled often, and she had her thoughts running away from her at the thought of him. She could remember when he asked her to get ready that they would go to the tailor and collect her clothes.

She wore the mustard coloured Abaya he chose for her and the moment she sat in his car, he swooned internally. It took him minutes before Nasir ignited the car and they hit the room. He was looking at her through the peripheral view. When Aisha got tired of the looks, she said. “Dr, why stealing glances at me?”

He turned and looked at her completely, without minding about the room and it was just a matter of seconds before Aisha screamed, “You're going to get us killed, Dr!”

He chuckled and looked ahead at the road, “This is what will happen if I'm to look at you the way I want. Between, you look beautiful with this abaya.”

She smiled at him and touched the embroideries. “You said it will look beautiful on me, and it surely did. Thank you.” Their eyes met, and they both smiled.

Remembering that memory now, Aisha smiled and said, “You know, Mommy used to tell me that if we were in a village, I would've been married. Maybe with a child or two now. I can manage a family, so cooking for one will never be a problem.” 

He had heard enough about this Mommy and wished he had met this wonderful woman that raised Aisha. She would surely be a once in a lifetime kind of woman. “Umm...so Aisha is now telling me that she wants to get married. Should I help and tell Mama?”

He laughed loudly at the look on her face, she was utterly confused. “No, I didn't say that. Dr!” She half shouted. And he laughed even more.

She turned and started dicing the carrots, not taking a look at him. He leaned in on the counter, smiling at himself. “But seriously, Aisha. I wish you were born in a village and bred in one.”

Looking at him in askance, Aisha asked. “And why? Because you hate me so much that you want to see me suffer in a village? Having two kids to take care of, with their big nothing of a father and probable depression due to the emotional stress?”

He didn't know she spoke this much, because the first time he saw her, she was so calculative of her words. But even now, she wasn't yet comfortable with Mama as she was, with him. “No, how would I wish that upon you? I only wished you were born and bred in a village so I could get you at a young age. But here, one has to wait.”

He was sure she didn't get his words, judging from the answer she gave him. “You have me here now. We talk, laugh together, eat together. I converse the most with you in this house. What do you have to wait for?”

“The day you'll start calling my name.”

“That day should better not come, then!”

With his words ranting in her ears from one angle to the other, Aisha cooked her breakfast and he helped her in arranging the table. She asked him to call them while she hurriedly took her to bathe, and so he did. When she was out, they were already seated on their seats and waiting for her.

“Good morning, Baba.” She greeted and greeted Mama afterwards.

“Good morning, Aisha. Mama said you cooked breakfast for us, right?” Baba asked, smiling at her when she served him.

She only nodded her head when he said, “Let's see if you can beat Maryama when it comes to cooking.” And they all laughed except Abba.

She served them all before she sat down on her chair, facing Nasir directly. While Abba was sitting beside Nasir. She made sure she didn't look his way because she had sensed the look he was flashing her, a look full of hatred. She nearly winced.

They finished their breakfast and Baba had hailed her cooking until she couldn't smile anymore. And Mama nearly ranted off her ears with questions about how she learnt so much about cooking. She could only smile and said “Whenever I was back from school at home, I joined Mommy in the kitchen. It started when she wasn't letting me cook by myself until she lets me cook for us at last.”

But the truth is, Mommy had never taught her how to cook, she was the one that taught her some things. Because she made cooking her hobby whenever Mommy was not at home, which was always every time. She got into Youtube and searched for new recipes and she tried them all. Whenever she cooked something new, she made sure she kept it for Mommy to taste and judge her skills.

And Mommy's answer had always been, “This is so great, Humaira. I pray you to get married to a husband that always eats at home and hail your cooking skills. I love it, Humaira.” And Aisha's answer had always been an “Ameen” while she placed her head on Mommy's shoulder, smiling brightly.

Nasir followed her to the kitchen while she washed the dishes. She washed and he rinsed. They shared no word because she always became dull and gloomy whenever Mommy's thought crossed her mind. She wished she was some minutes late back home, she wouldn't have witnessed what happened in front of their home. And she wouldn't have hated her Mommy this much. Even though she had missed her.

Nasir got tired of the silence and called her name, “Aisha.”

She had her mind immensely into her thoughts that she didn't hear him. “Aisha!” he was louder this time and he nearly freaked her out.

“Doctor!” She whined and pouted her lips.

“Why are you so silent? A penny for your thoughts?” He asked, looking directly into her eyes that she felt his orbs piercing so hard into her soul, and she took off her gaze from his face.

“I was just thinking about Mommy. I miss her so much. But it's all fine, I should just pray for me as you said.” A stubborn strand of tears rolled down, and she wiped at it. Then another, until she stood there crying with unchecked tears.

Nasir watched her cried until he felt it was enough for the day and he handed her the handkerchief in his pockets. She collected it and walked over to the basin, flashed some water on her face before she dabbed the handkerchief to dry off the water and the remnants of her tears.

“It's okay to cry over your lost ones, Aisha. I've never said you shouldn't cry because of your Mommy, she was your mother. You two had a great time, losing her will be a huge blow to your frail heart, crying is safe and healthy. But do you know why you have these outbreaks just at the remembrance of her?” His voice was soft and low, he hated how in an instant she looked normal and nearly happy, and in a minute, she was back into her world. Which was full of darkness and pain.

She shook her head and fought another surge of tears down her cheeks. “Because you haven't cried enough for your loss. When pain surges into you, Aisha, don't try to be strong just because you want to appear strong to yourself or the world. It's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to feel hopeless and okay to wallow in self-pity. But that shouldn't take long, it's only okay because there is a limit you'll give for it. Just a little time. But when you have those moments, cry until you couldn't cry anymore. Cry until your chest hurts and your eyes feel spicy with your tears. Just don't let the grief rule and control your life. You shouldn't hold onto your lost ones as the only rope in your life. Find a new rope, if you don't have someone near, then Aisha doesn't just find a new rope. Build a wall, with your tears and heartache, a very strong one that even the strongest wind of pain cannot break down.”

***

They had their dinner and were about to finish when Baba cleared his throat and they all turned their attention at him. “I have a conference to attend in Katsina on Monday. I figured it's been long we last visited Firdausi. Who wants to join? We're driving there tomorrow and will be back on Monday after I finish my conference.”

Mama was the first to answer, “My daughter and I are going. Right, Aisha?”

Aisha nodded her head, “Yes, Mama,” with a smile. 

Abba shook his head, “I have a test to conduct on Monday, I guess I'll leave tomorrow when you all are leaving.” Just then, Aisha shoot her head up and looked her him with utmost disgust. He was a lecturer, and she felt as she doubled the hatred he had for her in her heart. Because of Jaafar, she had hated whoever called himself a lecturer. She might consider Abba as family, only if he didn't show her disgust the moment his eyes fell on her.

“I'll drive you there, then,” Nasir said and their eyes met with Aisha, this time, she couldn't smile at him.

They had already come out of the house and Nasir had put the trolley Mama had her clothes with Aisha's packed in. He wondered what called for this trolley, a small bag would've sufficed. It was just a day, a single day. 

Since yesterday, they hadn't spoken a word to each other until they were both about to enter the car. He looked critically at her and asked, “How are you doing, Aisha?”

She turned and answered him before she hopped into the car, “I'm doing fine, Dr.”